Someone’s cheating, should you tell their spouse?
Some of you may have read my previous question but this one is more of a general one. Here’s the question: You know without a doubt that a friend of yours is cheating on his/her spouse and you are also friends/aquaintances with the spouse. I have known people on both sides of this regrettable situation and the opinions on this could not be more different. Some say, stay out of it because it isn’t your place to meddle in another relationship and others say they couldn’t feel like a very good friend if they carried a secret like that when then were friends with both people.
What do you say?
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Tagged with: cheating spouse • doubt • good friend • previous question • relationship • T Amp
Filed under: Catch A Cheater
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I would stay out of it, just because both of your friends would be hurt and eventhough you were trying to be a good friend, they will be mad with you. You will be labeled. The girl with the big mouth. We all know someone like that, someone who is in everyones business and tells everything. Im sure the spouse might suspect something, he/she is just not looking, because they dont want to know. Plus its not really you place to tell, all affairs eventually come out, so dont worry the cheating spouse will get caught or fess up. Just be there for them when the chips fall, and believe me they will eventually.
My vote is with the person staying out of it. More times than not, telling the spouse will blow up in your face. After the drama, they could reconcile and you’d be the one that gets the finger pointed at.
A better solution is to stop contact with that friend if you find what they are doing so morally wrong. Let the chips fall where they may, but not on you.
I would keep my mouth shut and let things unravel in their own time, which they will. I might, however, depending on the circumstances, pull the cheating friend aside and let him/her know that I know. It might be the wakeup call he/she needs to realize the seriousness of the situation.
mind your own business. if it was meant for them to find out they would. things always happens for a reason. in due time they will know
I say it is none of your business. U r better off staying out of it.
I would drop a note to them. If you are their friend though I would tell. I hate it if someone knows something but, doesn’t say anything to me cause they think it is going to hurt. Yes it is going to hurt but, at least now I know. And can deal with it….
I would say something…Because if I had friends that knew that my spouse was cheating on me…and didn’t tell me…i would be extremely pissed off….because I would feel like the fool….everyone knew but me!!
if it were my best friend I’d just harp on her to stop or leave the guy, because my loyalty is w/ her despite her mistakes. But if I were friends equally w/ a couple, I would find a sneaky way to let the cheated on spouse know without seeming like a tattle. I would do this because I personally would not want to live in a lie, either. But I also know that ppl often shoot the messenger, so keep this in mind.
I would stay out of it unless I was extremely close-like if it was my sister or best friend, I would tell. I would not tell a random friend or acquaintance.
well,this happen to me last year.I have a big mouth so i told.She wouldnt speak to me for while because she believed him over me.I dont think the other spouse when they are deeply in love wants to believe the worst with their spouse.
You have to remember in your heart you did what you felt was right.You told or explained to her/him things werent what they seemed.But remember you may not have a friend for while.I did this last year and she wouldnt tlak to me for while.then eventually he left her moved in with another woman and she calls me.
nark on the person who is cheating… tell their spouse! I am so glad someone told me my "interest" at that time was cheating on me… otherwise, I may have married the jerk …and divorced, and I only believe in marraige 1 time… if they had not told me, I may never have known! and I may not be married w/ the wonderful man I have now! so, tell, or the spouse can end up w/ aids, or something… it’s what’s best… good luck! =)
you are in a very bad prediciment but i would have to say u need to tell the person that the other one is cheating. I know some people want agree with me but how would u feel if ur spouse was cheating on u and one of your friends knew and didn’t tell you. its best to tell the person. yah everyone might be mad at u at first but that friend will thank you later. when my ex was cheating on me my friend told me and i was glade she did. it saved me alot of heart ache later on. so it might not be easy but telling the person would be the right thing to do.
I mind my own business.
I’m going through the same thing. I can’t see myself telling. But I often think about how I’m going to feel when they find out about the cheating spouse. I feel like because I won’t be as suprised as her that she will know. Maybe you should tell, It just may save your friendship.