i am a 17 year old girl in her 2ed semester of junior year in highschool. myu story starts all the way back in 7th grade, my best friend dated my current boyfriend ( the one i cheated on),mathew..well iv liked hinm ever since then because he is probably the best person that lives (he is a momas boy, he doesnt want to have sex befor marraige,his best quality is that he is overly careing,and i cant beleive he still loves me after all the mistakes iv made) ok so mathew secretly liked me too for three long years befor he ever told me, iv always been taken so he never interfeared. since we both liked each other so much but couldnt tell each other we became really close frreoinds, he is currently my best friend as well as my boyfriend (which is why im asking help from yall and not my best friend). something u should know that adds to the story is that hius father has type 3 brain cancer (the worst) and he has anywhere from 2 months till 2 years to live. mathews family is not poor so the are getting him the best treatment of chemotherapy which is costing them somethjing like 1500 for 30 pills or something ..so their goin broke and mathew may come back to my school next year ( my senior year) but i CANNOT hurt him…he means way too much to me and has always been here for me, i want to be there for him.

ok so lets move on to chris, the ex boyfreind i cheated on him with. I have dated chris ever since the first week of my freshmen year..at first i thought he was annoying because he cept saying hi in the halls and i didnt kno who he was..but anyways he kept trying and i gave him a chance (i only knew hima week befor we went out)….i went out with christ for 2 1/2 years. he is the love of my life. the reasons we broke up were ; sex, and his fathers death. I never really felt ready to have sex with him and he never forced me but i knew how much he wanted to and not ust becauses hes a horny boy but because he loved me and wanted to share the experience with me and nobody else. we both grew up very differently, my father is gone now but both of my parents allways told me sex was for marriage, where he grew up with two older sisters who got in troble for it all the timme and a father who had a wild life befor mareriage. so anyways i loved him very much a nd i did it with him. i felt very guilty afterward and that where our fighting started. so the second year of our relationship was nowhere near as perfect as the first because we fought about sex (he wanted it but i didnt) and about mathew, he always knew i liked him very much as a friend but hee thought it was too much..i lost touch with mathew for that year because of it..i dont blame chris for that because obviously he was right, we did like each other too much.

ok so now ill move on to now.. iv been going out with mathew sincethe summer, thewre was a point when shool started that i broke up with him and told him it was because we wouldnt be able to see each other since he goes to a private school 30 minutes away from mine and he lives 20 minutes away from me and neither of us has a car. but unfortunatley i like haveing a boyfrind and asked him out again around thanksgiving (and of cource he said yes). mathew knows about everything that happen with me and chris and has said thast he was dissapointed that i had sex with him but forgave me. so i go out with mathew. but i am by no mean over chris, i still love him but we cant be together till college. the other night, i missed him very much and asked him if he would come see me so he did, we talked about the past and he know i go out with mathew but he knows i still love him, so that night (like three days ago) it was like we went out..we did what we did when we were as couple (not sex but u know what i mean) . i was very fooloish for doing such a thing, now i feel very guilty (as i should)

so pretty much my situation sucks and i really need ginuine help…please be seriouse. i will award the best answer and will read every answer as i need as much help as i can get

thankyou

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