Is my girlfriend cheating on me?
So I’ve been dating this girl for about 2 months now. I’ve dated her before, so shes an old ex. I dated her for about two years previously. She dumped me then because I was too clingy for her tastes, but she said she’s changed, and she’s learned with her past relationships she’s had after mine that i was much better. Her last boyfriend was actually abusive to her, both verbally and physically. She told me all about it, and told me that "I went from being in the worst place in the world to the best place: this really made me feel special. But after about a month of living with me one day i get home from school and shes gone. everything in my room that was hers was gone. only a select few items were left, but nothing of real significant value. I called her and asked what happened. she cried on the phone asked where i was, and hung up. I called her back again and she said she cant live with me anymore, that i gave her cold feet, i got too close too fast. i forgot to mention that before she moved in with me, her and her old b/f only broke up about a week and a half ago. the first few days that we lived together i went back to see my parents to get some things, and we stopped at mcdonalds to get a redbox movie. she got a phone call, she sat silent for a bit, and said "really?!" in a kind of surprised, but sentimental voice. i immediatly got suspicious, figured out it was her ex, especially after she asked me if i minded that she would stay the night. furiously i replied "with your fukn ex!" "no fukn way" i was totally fired up, and she got sad, she told him she’d call him back. she got off the phone and immideatly the ambience between us changed. she accused me of not letting her tie her ends up with him. she wanted to hear him apologize for what he did, and she had to spend teh night at his house? althogh she told me that this guys friend would be there too with her….like that matters lol? I didnt let her go, but she cried in the car, and said hat she liked everything about me until now, when i became controlling, and didnt let her go. she wouldnt talk to me for a bit, i felt bad, and appologized. we got back to my apartment and i told her she could go, so he came and picked her up, and she left for the night. she didnt come back the next day either because she said she had something to do with her mom, shopping i think, not sure though dont remember. she said she’d be back in a few days, and she did come back after about 3 days i think. things were fine for a while, but she complained about my room mate, and told me i wasnt really giving her enough space. and tahts when she left for good. since then shes blocked my number, and only talks to me once a week for so. she got a new job, and wont let me come see her, i ask why, and she says there is no point b/c it is outta the way. i would seem to think that most girls would appreciate a visit from their boyfriends but guess not? she told me she blocked my number b/c i called too much, to many times a day, so she got pissed off and blocked me. but the thing is that she didnt call me back, so why shouldnt i call again and again? i didnt talk for about 2 weeks and she finnally talked to me again and told me all of that about blocking my number. she says she will come back when her job ends this december, and she will hopefully have experience to find a job out here near my place. numerous times i was in town and she didnt want to hang out, why? i ask, b/c shes busy she says. work she says. but i have the slight feeling there is soemthing going on with her old ex..i’m not sure. blocking my number, not calling me back, not replying to my messages online. and then about a week or 2 ago we start talking a few times a week. she finally unbloked my number after i promised not to ring her phone off the hook. so now we talk mostly online, but i do call her, and she calls me back, usaully and she sent me message saying this
"im really sorry . . .
i am that busy, yes
just like you are
but my job is only until december 31st thats not long at all
and i dnt have silent on my phone i just get vibrate and i cant hide my phone very well if its vibrating all the fucking time
yet u still call a thousand times
i blocked your number because you dont understand that one call is all it takes
i will definately see your number and i will call you back when I GET THE TIME TO
its really really really really annoying to me when u do that
seriously.
okay
now this is why i dont want to hang out
i will start to hate my job becuz i woiuld rather be hanging out at your apartment
then id be down all the time and wondering what your doing and who your with when i cant see you
do u understand???
and i did send you this message by the way i just got off work FUCK i dont revolve around fucking myspace or my phone or anything but work okay?
i love you, RelaX
serious.
i do love you and i will be back when i am done working, hopefully with my new experience i can get a job in lawr
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I don’t know if shes cheating on you but she might be. What I do know is that its too much drama. You shouldn’t beg her either. It sounds like she doesn’t even know what she wants. I would just let her go and find someone else with less problems and someone who will not play with your feelings.
That’s a fricken essay. The truth is, once you start looking for flaws in your partner your going to find them. Part of a relationship is trust, unless you know for sure, don’t suspect.
Ughhh!
She is not being totally honest with you. If she has you, then his apology is not so meaningful to your two relationship, unless she still wants to be with him. You do not spend the night at the house of your ex when you have someone. Sorry. If the guy’s friend was there with them then maybe you could be there with them too?
You weren’t giving her enough space? Space is for when you DON"T want to be with someone.
She’s busy, with work? How many hours does she work? 8? 16?? There is time to work and go to school and have a husband and a family, if you want to look at it that way. What does she do with her nonwork time?
She is that busy? Like you are? Oops, this is an excuse. She will call you back when she gets the time? Does she fly out of town on business or something? Most people can not carry on a telephone romance from their job. They DO need to work. Some people can sneak in a few minutes once in a while. So this could be a problem. But all this talk about not having time and waiting until December, it’s an excuse in my opinion. Don’t call her for a few days and see if she calls you. You need to have things to do and you should be doing them, whether she is your gf or not. So act slightly disinterested, but don’t tell lies. As for now, you don’t have her, so it can’t get any worse. BUT, it could get better. Just give her space and see what happens. Don’t make her angry or jealous. Both are bad things to do.
Read online those "how -to -get -your -girlfriend -back" sites and think about what they say. I think she might be seeing her ex. But if he was abusive to her before, it will only be a matter of time, and he will be abusive to her again. You will see.
What is her job anyway, do you know? She tells some conflicting things in what she told you and wrote.
Maybe be a little unavailable. That means not answering your phone. If she thinks that she is losing you or lost you, then she might do some things to get you back. But I am not a great believer in doing things to make someone else feel hurt. She is controlling everything now, but she does not want you to control anything. Hmmm.
Good luck.
Try relaxing a bit with her, don’t call so much (it gets really annoying and a huge turn off). She might not be cheating, just needs some space.
Wow. That was something. Here’s a thought. Let her go, and let her be. Find another person. Stop calling her. Trust me, there are other fishes in the sea and plenty who would go for you. But, Let’s face it, you have to change somethings about yourself. By reading this, I can tell you’re too clingy, and a pushover. Certain things we have to change in our life, this is one of them for you. I’ll tell you my story. I use to be like you. Had one girl who was the same. I was too nice, and clingy, too emotional too. Would call her everyday of the hour and ask if she’s alright. Even when getting off of work. She had a boyfriend. The boyfriend cheated on her. She ran to me with all the crap. I listened and comforted her. Than she went back to the boyfriend that cheated on her. And I’m saying to myself," Why are women like this? Do they want anyone who’s good for them? "
This was before I realized my position in life. So, I stopped being nice, and clingy. I don’t talk to her anymore and wouldn’t want to.
i think its time to send her a text message. that should fix everything! just dont make it as long as you made your question
Sorry to say this but it sounds like she’s back with her old bf, no matter what she said there is no way hearing him apologize should take her spending the night. You might have been the rebound or she was using you for a place to stay, but either way it doesn’t sound like she’s over him. Also try to learn to not be so clingy ( I mean like calling all the time, its best to wait for a while between calls) it makes you appear desperate.My advise is to get out of this because your only going to be hurt by her.
Cool down my friend, don’t stir up easily.
Control yourself and seek a best solution to the quest.
You shouldn’t be so angry over her as you have stated that she was your ex.
There will be some setback from your previous attempts and lingering thoughts over her mind of what you were before and now. She will still have the unfavorable image of you and prejudice will set in to sum you up in a not so perfect world for her.
This is natural as nobody like setbacks and nobody like failures.
But since she have already express herself in this incident, you have to make up your mind to reconsider all the pro and con which ever that you might find her in un abnormality status. Should you want to be in or out of the race.
Love oneself is not just pay lip services but there are many responsibility and commitment to be realign in both party and not just hanging around and just have fun.
Trusts and understanding hers and yourself the strength and weakness will bring you close to each others. No ones is just a giver and no ones is just a receiver, both must make extra effort to keep the relation float and there will be no finger pointing in a healthy relation.