What would you do if you suspected adultery?
If you suspected that your spouse was cheating how would you handle it? Let’s say that this person’s phone accidentally called yours and you received a message on your voicemail of a conversation your spouse was having with another man or woman. You couldn’t hear everything that was being said, but what you did hear makes you uncomfortable and it is clear that they have some type of relationship that goes beyond platonic.
Do you ….
A–follow your spouse to see if you can catch him or her in the act?
B–confront your spouse with the message and ask him or her what it’s about?
C–other (any other answers, thoughts)?
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Tagged with: adultery • relationship • voicemail • Woman
Filed under: Infidelity Warning Signs
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hes a cheater
no
All of the above.
i hope if you have a spouse
this happens to you for your idiocy and
paranoia
B.
A is too sneaky.
hmmm hard one, but i think i would have to set him or her up to catch them in the act.
like have a friend try to hit on him or her and see where it leads.
or follow them, check the cell phone bill ect.
Answer B: Confront spouse with message and ask ‘em what’s it all about, cause if you followed them you might get the wrong message, it might be innocent - ha ha I watch too much tv. Na I reckon that’s the best thing.
C: find out who the bitch or MF was and kick some a*&^%. Dont be stupid you know what you heard RIGHT?
I would definetly confront him but not telling him that its him make any sense??? Come to him as if it was one of your girlfriends or something just to see what he does i’m sure his reaction will tell all…good luck
i’l try A
call the # back and ask what the hell is going on. if she gets defensive, he’s most likely cheating. if she tries to explain and seem genuine, take the matter to hubby and find out whats behind it.
id say B, say something like, hey, i recieved a disturbing email from someone i know, can u check for me? if he says, idk, then thats not good. if he says that it was him, then you should confront him/her.
Innocent until proven guilty
call or go on line and find the show Cheaters. They investigate. When they find out information they show you and give you a confrontation during his unforgivable act. Personally I would snoop cautiously. Good luck
ok just have a reasonable explanation with ur spouse and ask her if shes cheating on you if she says no…u could try to trust her and if she will live with guilt if shes lyin and might jsut stop cheating on u if she is…if she says yes…maybe you could forgive her if u have children or you can dump ehr and move to texas…
A married man has no business having personal conversations with other women (unless he has children with her).
Follow your instincts. You’re probably right. So my answer would be "B" - confront him. But I wouldn’t ask what the message was about. I’d call his bluff and tell him you already know what’s going on. Don’t give him a chance to respond, just ask him how long has it been going on.
Dude I’d beat the living shit outta both of them. Cheating in my opinion should be punished by death. If you aren’t satisfied by the one you’re with - leave, don’t be childish and stupid and start something else up. It makes you look REALLY bad and makes the other person want to kill you. But yeah under "Other" I’d beat the fuck out of them both.
i will do the option A first to know the other girl and tell him about the conversation on the phone and try to kick her a**…….and of course get divorce and never get married again and live the life and having fun with betters men’s.
none of the above
First, I would question him about it. He’ll most likely deny it, unless it’s a serious relationship and he’s looking to end the one you have (Hopefully that is not the case and everything works out for you!!!
) But if he denys it and you still don’t believe him, I would keep an eye out. Now, if he we were to blow you off suddenly, or forget about something you had planned for a long time now then I would check into his story a little more, maybe even follow him. I would also call him when he leasts expects it…even from a # he doesn’t know or maybe a blocked number…that way you can hear suspicious noises in the back gounrd or whatever. Has he done anything else to make you think this? Or was it just the call? Get a few more facts before you drive yourself complately insane worring aand trying to figure out what to do.
B, and if your still uncertainof their denial, follow up with A,
(but some advice would be to send other people there, and dont ever do something alone, and do it like spies do (i no, its very cliched), but it works. dont just follow him, but ‘bump’ into him at some where, if you find him, and something to recoerd your findings, bcuz they will deny), hope i could help
I would follow the spouse to collect evidence, cheaters will never own up to what they’re doing unless by some slim chance they have morals…highly unlikely for an adulterer.
I would like to know more. I’d like to know his age and more about who this person is. Without that, some men like to flirt and are bolstered by the fact that a woman will flirt back. He may still love you, and might not take it further, but just the fact that another woman is interested, makes him feel that he still has it. I don’t know what you heard, but if your inner voice is talking to you - it is worth pursuing. I wouldn’t do this in an aggressive way, or be insulting. I would simply ask him about it - in a clear this up for me way. If he is your husband and best friend, then this should be something you can talk about. If he isn’t, you already need some couples counseling anyway.
A…B…..and D……..divorce.I know i can’t forgive or forget.It will always be in my head.I will hate him untill i die.There for i can’t live with a cheater.While other people forgive and go on.Listen to your heart.Don’t make any big desicions unles you know for sure there is something going on.
i would confront
You need to talk to him in a non confronting way. Just come out and ask him. If he seems evasive, then bring up the phone message. Tell him he needs to be honest with you right now or you’ll never be able to trust him. No trust, no relationship. I’d watch every move he makes for a while, get a PI if you have to. Check his emails or messages. There should be no secrets in a marriage. If he’s acting strange, he’s cheating.
No no no…………..you watch him closely………..
you try to get proof…………..
if you get some…………you immdediatly and quietly, empty alll the joint accouts and put it all in your name.
Let him "work late" all he wants.
Let him "pop out" to see his "friends".
Let him have his "bowling" night.
and while he is doing all this "socializing"……….
you quietly spend your time, getting everything in your name.
Then, when you are done………….throw the proof in his lap and see what he has to say.
If he can explain……….okay………fine.
so undo everything.
If he can’t………….heh heh heh………….got him.
Kick his two timing a** out………throw his stuff on the curb…….and change the locks the next day.
I am sure his girlfriend will be thrilled to have the now penniless two timing bum.
Good luck.
C - It is more important now, perhaps than ever, that you pay attention to yourself. Cheating is never about the person cheated on, it is always about the inadequacies of the cheater. You must know within you that you are wonderful and that anything he does is not a personal attack on you.
After I did this, I would them seek to discover what is really going on. If I discovered infidelity I would then make a decision….can I accept living with a cheater for the rest of my life….or not. Then I would act.
God bless.
First I would check into the book found at this link:
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_ss_gw?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=when+your+lover+a+liar
From the sounds of things there is obviously something going on. Don’t dive head first into an empty pool.
Educate yourself, but be mindful at the same time. If you confront him do you really think you would get the truth. Get some facts together, then decide a plan. You may want to try counseling, I personally wouldn’t because if he will do it once he will do it again and I always tell people who are on the other side- if he/she will do it with you he/she will do it to you!
Pay close attention, watch CC statements, phone bills, especially cell phone bills that are itemized, watch for receipts ect…
Check into that book, get some facts together to go with the one you have and make a good thought out decision on what is best. If it ends and she is his prize make sure you know all of your rights and entitlements upon divorce if it comes to that.
Stay strong :0( You are in my prayers.
I do agree with Weasel but DON’T put anything in your name. Put it in someones name that you trust, a parent or aunt, sister ect…. You don’t want it to be marital property. But be careful to start with things he won’t immediately notice. But don’t take and put it in your name, it has to be gone. Until the situation is over. Then you slowly begin to use it or obtain the things back. You have to remember even if it is in your name alone it is still marital property and girl, anyone who cheats owes it all to you! Empty all accounts, anything of value, but not in your name and not to be traced to you. Cannot be marital property at all! When he decided to cheat, it became what is mine is mine and what is his is mine! He is the one losing out, this isn’t about you, you are worth the respect of an honest, caring, man!
JUST TAKE IT SLOW…NO JUMPING TO CONCLUSIONS
set a trap….gps..his car…go to electronics store…really very economical…small as a pin…microphone….place on his person…he will not know its even there…lots of gadgets they
have and they not i am the expert in that feild..serious..be straight tell clerk..what you are there for and ask what would be the best item to meet your needs i understand they not only test them at radio shack…. they show you exactly ..what to do…….my g/f….living large now…when her hubby was confronted hearing his and the tramps voices arranging a holiday in Sydney……….he neared died…….her and i are going to Ireland in August when this will finally be over….
PLEASE BE SMART…SAY NADA…Good Luck
It really depends on whether you really want to know or not. How long have you been married? Have you had marital problems prior to this incident? What has the relationship been like for both of you? and Are there any children involved? Those are questions I’d want to know before you can honestly give a sincere answer.
A- if you really do want to find out..get someone else to follow him/her and get pictures in the act? 1) because if you file for divorce you get alimony and or child support.. 2) you can find out who the other person is 3) you have proof to confront him/her with
B- If you think it is wise to get their guard up…and want them to become a little more careful…so I’d say only if you do not wish to pursue trying to catch them in the act…If they are seeing someone "girl, you know they are going to lie about a phone message…or what it was about"…right?
C- You could be jumping to conclusions…if that is the case you can be ruining a perfectly good relationship on a possible misunderstanding…I would have to count the cost and see which out weighed the other…If you have had a good relationship and you’re just a little insecure…or just being overly suspicious…it can cause you more problems than what you want to have to deal with…
You and your spouse are the only two that really knows what goes on in your house and/or bedroom…if there is questionable activity I might would ck into A or B…if you are only acting this way because of one incident I have to get to the root of the possible problem…don’t accuse him/her but find a way for you to have peace of mind…once it’s settled let it go….one way or the other….Best of luck HH
B
I would probably follow him or have someone else do it. It is best to keep quiet and catch him in the act so he cannot deny it. Without proof he can just keep denying it and what can you do.
Is this some one you want to spend the next sixty years with? Are you married to this other person? some people say adultery but are not married. Check your self first, you are better than that. Get you together from head to toe. I would from now until you feel strong enough to walk away from the relationship look my best at all times when you look good you feel good. Then the more confidence and self esteem you have when the inevitable happen. If adultery means you are indeed married to this person, get you together quickly, extend fore play to all day and the day before, all the while keeping in your mind if they are having an affair the other person just got their #$% wet, they cannot have your spouce, tie up all funds so that you know they have to be cheep because know its not enough money left for them.I guess to answer the question I would not follow them or confront them I would use the knowledge to my advantage to improve me and if it doen’t work bow out, lick my wounds and go on to make life better for me myself. Just don’t at any cost make your self a door mat. @@###$$%% I wish I knew your gender lol. or would have something to say to you.