Is my girlfriend hiding something / cheating on me?
This is going to be a semi-long story, but here it goes. My girlfriend and I are both 20 years old.
I met my girlfriend now of almost 7 months at a party at my school. I am a member of a college fraternity, and she came out to one of our parties with her friends (she does NOT go to school). To make a long story short, after mingling with her and her friends a couple times on separate occasions in June, by July 10th, 2008 we were boyfriend and girlfriend.
This girl is about an hours drive from my parents’ house, where I WAS living. Present day, I am living with her at her parents’ house. She has always been the jealous, controlling, manipulative, possessive type. I have actually recently been in an argument with her about being too controlling and not letting me see my friends and family by emotionally abusing me. After confronting her about this, and having a "break" that lasted no longer than two or three days because I couldn’t stand to be without her, I was living at her parents’ house with her again.
I’ve always had my suspicions about her cheating on me, only because of a few events that have happened recently (mid December). She received a text message that said something along the lines of "Hey, what are you doin?" from a number that was not in her contacts, and also a number I have never seen before. I asked her who the sender was, and she said it was her 15 year old cousin Hannah who likes to come over on the weekends and she didn’t want to text back because she didn’t want to be bothered (we were watching tv). I could instantly sense something was wrong with this, so I did what any suspicious partner would do and acted cool about it. I then grabbed her phone and looked at the number, and memorized it. I said a few times to her "I don’t remember that being Hannah’s number, but OK…", just to see if I could get a reaction out of her. So what I do is pull MY cell phone out and said "OK, I guess I will just call her myself and talk to her since you’re too busy", and INSTANTLY her hand was going for my cell phone and she told me it was a guy. I instantly got mad at her and went out to smoke a cig, and then came back in. She was no longer watching TV, but in her room laying face down on her futon crying. I asked her why she was crying, as she was the one who lied to me, and she said because it was something stupid and this guy and her have nothing going on and she doesnt like him and just didnt want me to get "mad" that another guy was texting her. I told her that if she lied to me again, it would be completely over between us, and I trusted her to an extent with what she said, like any couple would. Mutual trust.
However, on another incident, actually this month, I realized that this guy who she said is Ben Brown, was on her recent recipients list in her phone-book. By this time my girlfriend and I were getting pretty close, and even marriage has been mentioned. When I noticed her texting this guy though, his number was in the recipients list without an area code, meaning he was not added in her contacts at first… Then she goes and adds this guy who she knows I didn’t want her talking to in her contacts list as Bb. When I saw she had added him to her contacts, she said she added this guy to the list the same night when I first caught a text from this guy. LIE. I told her it was bs, because I remember looking at her contacts the next day and no Bb. She then said "Well I thought I did, I am sure I did that same night…", BS. She then said that she just told this kid that she was happy with me because he wanted to do something with her, and that I might propose to her to be engaged, and that she didn’t want to hang out… HOWEVER, none of these messages were in her sent box, OR her inbox… She had deleted anything that came in from this guy. NOW, THE REAL PROBLEM STARTS…
This Thursday, I found out she is pregnant. She had been complaining of stomach aches and feeling dizzy and crappy in the morning. I don’t know what to think now. I deep down want to love her unconditionally, but I just get the feeling that no matter how badly she always wants me living with her, she is hiding something… How would I even know the baby is mine if she is hiding things about other guys? How do I even know if she is hiding things now? I’m at work all day, she works part time, she could clear out her phone and pretend like everything is OK… Sometimes when I would call her from my parents house she would act kind of funny and I would hear questionable noises in her room when she was just "laying there in the dark" (What she always claimed to be doing at night when I wasn’t with her). The uncertainties here and the pregnancy is getting to me… Does anybody think she’s still hiding something? Do you think she was cheating with this kid at any time?
The only thing is, we have been having unprotected sex (yes, stupid, I know) since October 18th, 2008… She never became pregnant from this time up until recently… We’ve used plan B a couple times, but this one time on either December 28th or 29th, we were having a bit to drink and playing cards with her dad… Afterwards, I was a bit buzzed, and she requested that I "cum in her". Well, I did, and now she is pregnant. Her last period before I "came in her" was on December 16th, when her last one before that was November 26-28th… Is there something weird about this?
I actually mentioned to her that I have a friend at work that fathered his first child for over 4 years until he found out it wasn’t even his, and the girl knew it wasn’t his somehow the whole entire time… I don’t want this to happen to me, so I mentioned the night we found out she was pregnant that I was not signing a birth certificate until we get a DNA test and confirm that it’s mine, because it’s a life-time commitment. I also don’t know what to do as far as our relationship goes, because when I’m with her (living in with her at her parents’ house) I find myself wanting to go home and live my old life without her and just have a ton less stress, but when I go to visit my parents’ or I was on a "break" (that two day break we had from living with each-other), I found myself calling her at night and wishing I was with her. I’m really in a smear right now and can’t decide what is better for me.. I would hate to make a selfish decision when the baby is mine and have her do it on
her own…
When I told her about the DNA test thing, she was like " UHHH I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU WOULD THINK THAT ABOUT ME!!!" I said I don’t think that about you (even though I sort of was), and that I just wanted to be 100% sure.
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Tagged with: 7 months • boyfriend and girlfriend • cell phone • cheating • college fraternity • couple times • cousin hannah • friends and family • girlfriend • Met • occasions • parents • present day • suspicions • text message • watching tv
Filed under: Catch A Cheater
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wow, this is a pretty bad situation for you. she could totally be hiding something, or you could be looking into it too much. it’s weird that she still needed to talk to this kid even though you two were fine and getting closer. if they are friends then that’s fine, but it seems like they may be more than that especially because she was crying when you found out about it. do you know if they had a history together?
it’s really up to you with what you want to do. if she does decide to keep the baby, then you can get a paternity test. until then, if she isn’t going to be truthful or admit to anything then you’ll just have to go along with what she says or leave her. who knows, maybe she is telling the truth.
it seems like she is trying to hide something, but you never know, maybe she cleared out her inbox and sent messages because she wanted to delete everything having to do with the kid. maybe she is actually going to stop communicating with him. just be careful, and don’t let her manipulate or emotionally control you. no one deserves that, and it is really not healthy for you to be in a relationship with someone like that.
i hope everything works out for you.
tough call man - obviously she is having some kind of relationship with this guy and now she;s pregnant.
Might wantto start saving up for the DNA test.
dude.
dump her.
she sounds like nothing but trouble, you deserve someone you know you can count on and who’s not ‘manipulative and controlling’
well i don’t doubt you being suspicious
trust is a huge factor.
maybe a fraternity test?
i don’t like the sound of it.
but if you really don’t trust her that much
sit down and have a serious talk about it with her.
and you say that she should tell you now if she has ever done anything with another man
because its serious..and there’s a baby on the way
oh and i like how you love to smoke cancer sticks. mm.
drop the habit. it’ll be more attractive hah
Anything is possible. Once lying and/or cheating enters a relationship, it’s very difficult to ever fully trust that person again, even if you love them. She’s so controlling and jealous of you, which is a sign that she, herself, is doing something and feels guilty about it…so projects it onto you. BE VERY CAREFUL! You don’t want to commit to her until you know for sure the baby is yours. Otherwise, you will be raising another man’s child for the rest of your life, and chances are good that your girlfriend will let this guy into the child’s life IF he’s the father. You have every reason to be suspicious. However, between her controlling nature and jealousy…and you checking her phone and being suspicious of her (tho justified), you and she are headed for a disastrous relationship. First, you need to make sure this baby is yours…then decide what you’re going to do as far as your girlfriend. Don’t set yourself up for pain and failure by committing to her just because of a baby…you can still legally be part of the baby’s life without being her (girlfriend) puppet
Total drama in your relations ship.
If you have to check her phone there is no trust and you should not be together.
You both sound too jealous for each other.
You both need to cool off maybe you should split for a while and
cool off.
Your both being self destructive.
I finally figured out how to keep my girlfriend from going through my text messages. I downloaded a program from Faketexts.com and it hides the iPhone SMS button and replaces it with a fake one that you can edit. Basically it doesn’t show all the girls I am talking to just go to Faketexts.com on your iPhone.
Bro something is definitely up with her. Why would she ask u to cum in her?? Unless you guys were trying to have a baby, she shouldn’t ask u somethin like that. From my perspective, she could have known she got pregnant by this other dude (Bb) and then asked u to cum in her so u could think the baby is yours; think about it.