Wife wants a second chance after caught cheating. Readers, I will count your votes and decide.?
I wrote in afew times on this sickening issue. Now my wife is pleading for a second chance and her b/f apologized to me but I am still worry that it may happen again, it’s only when. For those who do not know my problems, I caught my wife cheating on me and it happened almost 12 times but she wants to make changes and salvage our relationship, what do I do now? I find it difficult to trust and forgive her.
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I read some of your other questions about this whole situationt to get a better picture of what went on…
Old flame or not, secret meetings in a hotel… that is completely unacceptable. You are going to have to make the decision in the end. It is a question of wether she told you everything… I would set her down and give her one more chance to admit everything that happened between them. Tell her if she can admit everything… and make sure to include that you are an intelligent man who has a lot of doubt that kissing and hugs were all that happened between them. Watch her eyes when she speaks and hold her hand. Then decide if you are completely satisfied that she told you the truth about everything…
If the answer is yes, then she is making an effort to be honest with you, and you have a chance to make a yes decision. You have to be able to forgive everything. You can’t live in suspicion of each other, and you need to tell her you are willing to do this. Tell her she must cut him out of her life completely and go on a vacation away from everything and try to make life right again.
If you do not feel she was being honest with you completely. I would shut her out of my life and let her go her own way. You can’t love someone that you can’t trust.
I hope this helps… I’d also ask her how she expects you to be able to trust her after what she did. You can’t punish her or she will do it again, but make her feel some remorse.
Oh man up and make your own decision. Don’t base such a life altering decision on the opinion of strangers who know nothing about your life, nothing about your wife and nothing about the context of the situation. Only you can make this choice.
don’t do its was 12 times hello you can do better.
I could never go back to someone who cheated on me, and 12 times?! Its unforgivable!
I think you already know the answer. You need to proceed with ending your marriage. She has cheated on you on more than one occasion. She needs to get some intense counseling as to why she feels it necessary to be unfaithful.
The saying may be true "once a cheater always a cheater".
You can’t have a marriage or a relationship with out trust.
only you can really determine it. Once, usually is the pass, after that more then its a problem. If you do want to take her back, I suggest counseling. If she has cheated on you 12 times, then she may have a sex addiction of which needs to be addressed.
good luck.
do you have kids together? that would weigh heavily on what i would do.
.
you say her boyfriend apoligized to you? that is pretty creepy (and i can’t help but wonder why you didn’t give him the ol’ one-two)
She is sorry, because she got caught!!! 12times "come on now" give yourself a break frome her!!! and see if their is some one out there would want a good man that will treat a woman good! and if is meant for you two to be together then, so be it!!! good luck
Move on……… I know from past exsperiance it won’t work out, even if by some chance she stops cheating which I seriously doubt, you won’t be able to trust her and you will have a rocky relationship. If you can’t trust someone, you can’t be with them. Let her go, she made her bed now its time for her to lie in it. An you don’t wanna catch something that you can’t wash off…………
You find it difficult,I find it completely azznine if you do.Find someone you do not have to put a leash on.
your relationship will never be the same, you will never be able to trust her 100%. she had a chance already and blew it, and she will do it again because she knows she can get away with it.
get the hell out of there.
If she cheated on you, especially that many times, then she isnt truly happy. My advice would be to end it because you can’t be happy in a relationship where there is not trust. You will both just make yourselves and each other miserable in the long run.
Move on. 12 times is too many!
Man where you self-respect! Cut your loses man get rid of her. If you do take her back your relationship will never be the same, your always going to wonder what she doing when she not home or when your not around. My wife cheated on me and you know what I cut her cheating azz lose. Find someone that love you and have respect for herself. Do the right thing man!
she seems not to care. why should you? i say milk it, but if only you are getting milked leave
12 times is one too many. she obviously has problems. she needs help. can she really change and be trusted. is her cheating a pattern. she needs counselling. you need to ask urself whether she can change, if she cant please move on. you dont want to be miserable forever.
Tell her to stay with her boyfriend. You don’t want her around.
One word divorce! If you’re in love with her it’s not fair to you, because if she truly loved you she would never sleep with another man; and certainly not 12 times. It’s disgusting what she put you through, and I pray you will make the right decision and get rid of her. I hope for your sakes you guys don’t have kids. You have every right to divorce her legally and spiritually.
I tend to find myself responding to alot of the cheating questions because unfortunately I’ve been there. I guess it helps me to help others in this small way. But here goes my advice:
I can already imagine what you’ve been going through all this time. When this happened to me i would run all these different scenarios in my head as to what happened, what are they doing, how did it get to that point…and im pretty sure you’re experiencing the same.
Your sadness will soon give way to anger. But in all of this it is you that needs to really question her degree of sincerity, her willingness to really want to work things out. Will she be patient, forgiving and understanding with u when words like slut, whore etc come out of nowhere from u? Is it out of character for u to be jealous? You really need to think 3 dimensionally here….meaning that u need to look at it from all angles. Its going to drive you nuts but u need that to put everything in perspective.
Out the gate I would say no not 2 salvage it. This was not some random thing. It happened 12 times! And if she’s strongly using excuses to justify why she did it definitely leave her. There is NO excuse for cheating no matter what u may have done to her or not have done. In my opinion if there is a reason big enough to push someone to cheating then leaving should have been the 1st option.
In a more cautious sense i would say to digest all the advice u get. People here can only speak to your mind not your heart. Realize that this decision needs to take into account your mind and your heart. Having a balance of both will do u know wrong. hope this helps!
They say it takes two years for a partner to gain trust back after the other partner cheated on you and yes its bloody hard learning to gain the trust back and you will keep checking up on her for awhile if you take her back. Call her unexpectedly, check her mobile phone and phone bill while she sleeps. But in the end only you can decide which way to go.
If you give her a second chance you will soon learn if she is cheating again or not, as they always come undone in the end. I still check my partner out and the phone bill and so far so good. Good luck
If you still love her, yes. Is she someone you can’t imagine being without. Personally, I could forgive such a situation if I knew and understood the root cause and it was something fixable.
I wouldn’t. She is probably after you cause her low life boyfriend can’t support her and you could. Find someone better.
You know what they say once a cheater……
I think you can figure this one out on your own. 12 times that you know of!
It is your life you have to live it,stand up make your choice and move forward.
The fact that you are questioning taking her back is because you know you shouldnt. You already know the answer, you do not have to ask us!
I wouldn’t trust someone who claims they cheated 12 times, if they say 12 times it’s probably 22 times. If you think you can get passed this more power to you, I couldn’t.
12 times = Use common sense.
I don’t understand the problem. I find boyfriends for my wife. Turns me on. Cheating is just a word and only what you make it. Let her cheat, what’s the big deal?
No kids = get the fuck out.
12 times is a lot of cheating.
she must be incapable of controlling herself.
if she can’t control herself now, she will not be able to control herself in the future.
a one indiscretion is one thing. 12 times is seriously habitual.
after one time there she should have made and adjustment, she used it as a tune up for more action.