How will I get over my husband cheating?
My husband of almost 10 years has just confessed to cheating 8 years ago. We were split up at the time. We now have two beautiful girls and a good life together. I have decided to stay with him. I do forgive him. (As the Lord tells us to do) The problem is I’m still mad. I have days that I cry. When will I ever get over this feeling? How do I? Counseling?
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Eventually, you may get over it but for now..it’s still fresh in your mind like he did it yesterday that’s why. I say just focus on the good things. I am dealing with the same thing, but my husband did it a couple months ago. The only thing I have been doing to try and get over it is reinventing our marriage. We have been doing things like going out on dates more and spending more time together. Because, right now you need to see things to help you get over that hurt of betrayal. I think counseling will also help too. good luck!
Phuck his brother, that will teach him. Or ask that wonderful god of yours what you can do.
Get yourself into counseling and I would suggest couples counseling as well.
Letting it go is within yourself. It will happen a little at a time. You have every reason to be upset, but I see no reason for holding on to something that happened 8 years ago, and something you can not change. If the two of you were split at the time why in the world did he put that information out on the table.. the truth of the matter is… confessing adulterous behavior is a release of guilt for the person who committed it and a lifetime scar on the offended…
Good luck and continue following the word of God… Give this matter to Him and release it…
If you were split up at the time, how was it cheating?
See if you will ask your husband any thing about it, it will again create differences in your life. So I can only tell you one thing just concentrate on your children’s and Meditate regularly. Meditation is the tool where you can get your self free from all the stress. The best meditations are of Osho.
If you are still feeling bad over this, then you have NOT forgiven him! This is the very definition of forgiveness. You’ve got some work to do!
Love, Honor and Forgive by Pam Farrel
Your husband told you after 8 years. Of course this will hurt you now as you have only just been told. Its like it happened yesterday for you and 8 years for him. You are only just reliving it. You obviously love him and cant imagine him with another woman, thats whats hurting right now. Your feelings are normal and you may have forgiven him but the human mind cant forget. My husband did the same to me and has only just told me and mine was 8 years ago too when i was pregnant. I cant get over it either. I cry in secret and yet i am also very angry at him. My husband never left me, he did it while I was 7 months pregnant and thats why now it is hurting me. I dont know why he told me, unless he wanted me to be jealous for some reason.
You are human, I dont think I will ever feel the same for my husband for as long as I am with him. When you love someone the pain is unbearable. I feel for you and if you want to contact me you may, love Jacqui x
You haven’t forgiven him, if you had then you wouldn’t be feeling this way, forgiveness comes from the heart and spirit its not just a word to throw around. The next time you feel this emotion welling up inside you go with it all the way, go right into it, stop resisting the emotion, that is what causes you to cry and be in pain, your resistance to the emotion. When you have completely immersed yourself in your pain, you own it, you will see that its perfectly ok to feel what you feel about this, take this moment and throw it out away to the universe, own this feeling its you, its ok to feel this feeling. Stop hiding it and expose your emotions and know that’s it ok to feel hurt about this.
Even though he slept with someone else while you were split up, it’s still a bitter pill to swallow. It’s not technically cheating - but it also is in some strange way.
You might be mad for a little while, and feel hurt too. You wouldn’t be human if you didn’t. Discuss your feelings with your husband honestly, and use this as an opportunity to bring you closer together rather than put a wall between you.
Well you forgave him 8 years ago. You should have thought of this before you asked the Lord what to do and brought two children into this mess. Personally, my Lord says I have the right to be treated with respect and feel loved and secure in my relationship. I am pretty sure he would understand if I chose not to be in a relationship which could not hold these qualities. But I am not sure he would understand after 8 years and two children.
u made the right decision to forgive him laybe he is changed.
EVERY time i visit these boards people like i want divorce or something like this.
and the divorce rate is like 55%+ why its not high in many muslim countries.
even we have problems here but we solve them not just go to divorce lawyer
Although it happened very long ago it is fresh to you and has put his trustworthiness into question.
The aspect which makes it most disturbing is that he carried this around for so long and just now felt it okay to tell you , relieving his own guilt and passing it to you.
It is easy to say it was a long time ago but that was the act not your knowledge.
It is for you figure out how to proceed and determine what you want.
It is difficult to break up after all this time and investment in life especially your children.
Some couples counseling may be in order.
There is also a very good book available on Amazon, "After The Affair" by Janice Spring.
The section on rebuilding trust is very good and will help you with your biggest problem the loss of trust and the ability to believe him again.
Some questions for you to answer for yourself include, what was his motivation for telling you this. Why now? The other is how is he treating this? Does he show significant remorse and is truly sorry?
Has he asked for your forgiveness and wants to stay together?
If so he will agree to the costs associated with rebuilding your trust again.
Get that book it will help you sort out your feelings and give you some direction.
Direction is where you are struggling right now this book helps greatly.
If you have questions concerning the affair. Ask him and make him answer them for you. After that don’t mention them again. In time you will get over the anger and the hurt will diminish as time goes by. If your marriage was good before you knew about the affair, then it will come back in time. Just be patient and get through on day at a time. that’s about all you can do.