My wife always accuses me of cheating…Why?
My wife and I have been together for 5 years (married 3 1/2 of them). Anyways, we have had alot of problems. We have separated numerous times, but somehow we always get back together. Anyways, things never seem to change. Although, promises are made things always seem to go somewhat back to the way they were. But, the thing that always stays constant is the fact that my wife always accuses me of cheating. If I listen to her, then I will have been sexually active with half of the State of Texas by now. Here’s the deal; I haven’t cheated nor am I cheating now! I realize that the way we met has something to do with it, because she was married and I had a girlfriend when we hooked up. I left my girlfriend for her and she divorced her husband for me. So, I know she may have some reason to be distrusting, but I have been with her for 5 years married for 3 1/2 and I have been faithful to her. So, why does she keep insisting that I am cheating? I even give her proof that I’m not cheating with so & so, then she says I am cheating with this person or that person. Each time I dispel or deny cheating she comes with another name of some person I must be cheating with. I am so sick of it! It’s to the point that when she accuses me of it that I get angry at her for accusing me of something that I’m not doing. Which only fuels her, because she says that I wouldn’t get mad if I truly weren’t cheating. How can I convince her and I’m not cheating and why does she always accuse me of cheating?
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Tagged with: alot • amp • cheating wife • girlfriend • promises • proof • state of texas • Wife Cheating
Filed under: Catch A Cheater
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She’s probably cheating and feeling guilty. If she believes you are cheating too then it makes her feel better about herself. She cheated on her last husband so why wouldnt she do it again? I think you should get into counseling and try to fix some of your problems.
Something to take into consideration. People who are repeated cheaters often accuse the person they are cheating on of cheating. To them they know that they are getting away with it, so why cant you be doing the same. They become very insecure with their own relaionship because they dont want it to end, but they themselves are getting away with something. They are projecting the idea of what they are doing onto you.
Honestly from the sounds of it your relationship with this woman has no trust left, and a relationship without trust is a doomed one. If she doesn’t want to accept that you arent cheating on her no matter how much you do to disprove her then you are probably better off walking away. Do you really want to spend your life always defending yourself to someones alligations? Good luck.
Your wife may be insecure about herself, and assume that there is no way a guy like you would ever ‘really’ want to be with her. As a result, she’ll assume you aren’t a great guy, and something must be wrong with you, and then make the leap to assuming you’re cheating on her.
The other option is, she may be cheating on you. Cheaters frequently accuse their partners of being unfaithful.
don’t talk on this topic anymore, when ever she talk about cheating just ignore and change the talk with other topic. as much as avoid to this topic
Some women are insecure and think that they don’t deserve the man they are with. Its more of a self-trust issue. My own mother was like this, she always thought someone was cheating on her because of her first husband, who did cheat on her, so it may be a personal experience. I would sit her down to a romantic dinner at home and talk to her, let her know that you are not cheating and never would. You could even suggest renewing your vows, this would show her that you do love her and still want to be with her. Even going on a short, inexpensive second honeymoon could help. Good luck!
Stop denying that you’re cheating, and start ASKING her what behaviors of yours are making her believe that you’ve been unfaithful. Then ASK her what things you can do to build her trust and confidence that you are 100% faithful, and you always have been.
While you shouldn’t have to succumb to being monitored like a parolee, her insecurity is coming from somewhere. Work with her to identify the source… and *cooperate* with her on resolving the issue rather than getting defensive and feeling insulted. I promise you, it will work better than whatever it is you’re doing (or failing to do) now.
She insists you are cheating because of the way you met. She will always have that in the back of her head. Also actions that you may have displayed may make her feel this way. If you are really not cheating you need to ask yourself if you can deal with her accusing you for the rest of your life. If the answer is no, you might need to reconsider your martial status. You can convince her by taking a lie detector test, and baby, I think you should make her take one also. If you pass and she still doesn’t believe you, her issues are deeper and she needs professional help.
It’s pretty obvious that because she was married when you met her and you were in a relationship (although not married, which makes it different and way less worse), that she is feeling guilty about what you BOTH did in the past…and she is afraid it could happen again. She herself may have cheated again…or she may have not. She may think that you have some hidden comittment problem, or she fears that you find excitement in having affairs.
Either way, you are the one who should be more likely to feel the insecurity about her cheating rather than her feeling more insecure about if you’re cheating or not…because she was MARRIED when you two met and she left her husband to be with you. Versus you only left a girlfriend…which in my opinion is hardly anything compared to someone leaving their spouse to be with someone else. But hey…if you two were truely in love, than you were in love and that’s what made you two do whatever it is you decided to do in the past to be together. You married each other, so I believe it must have been real love that made you two leave whomever you were with (married or not) to spend your lives together. That has to count for something. It’s not like you guys were just having an affair and it was all about the sex with no desire to commit to one another for life. She needs to look at that and let her insecurity rest.
It may have been a one time thing of you and her cheating and leaving someone to be with someone else being that you two fell in love with each other at that time. She may never cheat on anyone again. Probably neither will you. So I’ll be honest with you and say that you two need to go into couple’s therapy together to work this trust issue out (if you hadn’t already tried this approach), or call it quits if talking and trying therapy doesn’t help. Maybe even re-evaluate your habits and patterns to figure out if it is something you are doing that is making her insecurity and fears come about. Good luck, I know this is frustrating to you both.
Get out while you can, they don\\\’t change, i know what you going through, it is like being in a jail cell for a crime you did not commit. only two reasons for this, either they are doing it themselves or they are mentally ill. get out! i just ended a relationship of 14 years because of the accusations ALL THE TIME. i wasted half my life hoping that this problem would eventually go away, it doesn\\\’t and if the person is not willing to work on THEIR problem, there is no hope that you will be happy as a couple, ever!
She is probably not cheating, but she will. Lots of times when someone brings up a subject it is to gage how you feel about it. She brings it up because at the first sign she sees that you consider it an option she’ll start looking.
You had an affair with a married woman, my marriage was perfect untill she let herself be influenced by other people and she cheated on me. You deserve all the pain that this is causing you being hurt by your best friend, stabed in the back, lied to, deceived, and having some looser boast how he fucked a marrid woman behind her mans back makes him even less of a man but cuts deep none the less,
So enjoy the hell you have created, and stop being such a hipocrit