My wife still talks to her ex after 12 years of marriage?
In the past 12 years I have caught my wife contacting her ex. She always has a lamb excuse. He doesnt live in the area but I have told her several times I dont find this exceptable, I would never do that to her. Each time she says she will put an end to thier talking but it never seems to stop. This last time I told her to change her cell number since she says this is how he contacts her and she only calls or texts him back because he keeps calling. I honestly dont believe she has seen him or at least on a regular basis because there aren’t the normal signs of a cheating wife, and it has been several months and I am pretty sure they havent had anycontact but I feel that this has left a scare and I am having a hard time forgiving her. We have kids so I am hesitant to walk out and we also have what I think is a good marriage. But I still cant understand why after all this time they still speak. Talking to her about it has not resolved anything because she always down plays it and blames it on him. So now what do I do? Should I just tryto let it go and see if it happens again or do I harp on her which will just lead to a fight and still no answers.
I should of mentioned this is an ex boyfriend who she cheated on her first husband with
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Tagged with: Caught Wife • cheating wife • exceptable • excuse • hard time • lamb • last time • Live 105 • marriage • scare • several times • signs • signs of a cheating wife • texts • Thier
Filed under: Infidelity Warning Signs
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She craves the attention. She wants to see if she’s still got ‘it’. Does she seem to contact him during stressful times in your marriage?
If it’s not so big a problem that you are ready to leave her, then just suck it up. I would in no way ignore it though. When she’s been talking to him, I would mention it to her. I wouldn’t start an argument, but I wouldn’t ignore it. Tell her to tell him you said hi.
~aj
And why is that a problem?
the answer is to make her chose between this man who she only has a tie with through the phone or her family whom she has made a commitment with..
obviously no one is point a gun to her head or forcing her to talk to the man so tell her use her will power before she regrets where she ends up
EDIT: all these fakes up in here know damn well if their spouse was contacting an ex in person or not they’d have a freakin biiicthfit so quit denying and give real answers.. it wouldn’t bother you my freakin a$$.. check yourselves!!
it’s a mutual thing and it’s just plain common sense that there’s no reason to be contacting an ex!!!!
No I wouldn’t let it go. It’s disrespectful to you. She needs to cut it out now.
hey john, grow some b@lls. next time he calls, you pick it up and say you’d slice him into 12 pieces, if he tries to contact your wife again.
(and mean it.)
As long as she’s not going to meet up with him, there shouldn’t be an issue.
you need to ask her how she would feel if you started talking to your ex’s even tho she has asked you to stop many times. You may need to threaten to leave if it continues or something along those lines. good luck.
maybe she’s friends with the guy, like my parents are. they’re each getting married, and have been dating the same people (mom to Joe, and dad to Connie, let’s say) for 10 years. they have my sister and i for half the time each, and they talk for long periods of time when they switch us. i think it’s normal.
Sounds fishy to me. If you "caught" her and she knows it bothers you, then she doesn’t respect your feelings at all. As far as "signs" of a cheating wife, there aren’t any. If she doesn’t want you to know, you won’t find out about it if she is cheating with him. Depending on the content of the text messages, you can either:
a. make her choose between the two of you
b. let her have her friendship with her ex -
If you don’t think anything is going on then what is the problem with her remaining friends with him? Just because you break up with someone, doesn’t mean you have to be enemies.
this is such an insult to your marriage!!! U need to get tuff on her and say, ” i have told you so many times that i dont feel comfortable with you talking with him, so now you eaithe choose to continue to talk to him or resepect my feelings and stop it……….otherwise i’ll leave" Just see what her response is…….if she say’s "go ahead and leave" well then do you want to stay somewhere where your not cared about?
you have to do whats right for you but if it was me i’d tell her look it hurts me when you talk to him tell him to stop calling you or i will and if that don’t work i can pay him a visit and see what she says tell her that for you it’s a deal breaker she has to leave you you leave the past
Lighten up dude. She married him…divorced him..married you. And for some strange reason stayed with you for 12 years.
Who cares if she calls him? After all she has had sex with him so it is not like that is forbidden.
I’m married 21 years and still have connections with women I knew over 30 years ago. We talk about old times…talk about our families….stuff like that.
You are worried about nothing. Let her have her memories. Always remember she married you…and women love to point out to ex lovers how good they are doing now…it helps them and they enjoy the revenge.
BC
If you caught her then yes she is hiding something but if she came out and told you that she still talks to the ex and you still stayed well that is your fault
Maybe you should talk to your ex to see how she takes it
I say what whats fair is fair…
You’ve got problems dude. I’d say it’s ultimatum time.
This is serious, ongoing, pervasive, intrusive, mind numbing and deliberate. It sours your marriage. It’s a symptom of a bigger issue: Lying.
And, it’s "a lame excuse".
What is the problem with all the new spouses…my spouse is talking to my ex and they are friendly - the horror! Get a grip! She is married to YOU!!!!! Let it go!
Here’s my response to a woman that had the same complaint earlier…
You are an a$s. Seriously - pull your head out of the hole. He’s married TO YOU!!!!!!! So he’s nice to his ex with whom he has children - GOOD FOR THEM! Would you rather it be a major pissing match on a daily basis? Would that help your insecurities? I hate it when the new spouse just can’t join the party and get along with all the other guests…you knew this before you got married - suck it up buttercup.
I You have know about this for 12 yrs, and you are still putting up with this. It is disrespectful of your feelings, you need to have a talk with the man and tell him to stop calling her. That it is not something that you feel comfortable with. Also that you have a family and it is causing some conflict in your marriage. You can’t put the blame on one preson when something like this is going on.
First sit her down and set out the bills and ask her which ones she wants to pay and we need to pay yourself out of debt in case this is not resolved
because you love yourself even if she doesn’t want to put you first and leave the past were it belongs this may sound hard but your hurting more than you say here and I’ll bet your not sleeping well.She needs an weak=up call and the bill thing is the one that will hit home hardest also in this meeting bring up that maybe Cancelling cell phones to save money and payoff debts as long as she thinks is can handel you with an lame its his fault. She knows she is in charge and is dismissing not only you but your FEELINGS now if your not ready for this chock down your pride again and vent here were here for you but just complain don’t ask for Resolution.
Good luck.