I have caught my wife cheating on me how should i approach her about this as i think I want a divorce?
We have been married since we were 18, We are both now 43, and have 4 children, the oldest being 16, and the youngest 5. I don’t know, as we have been married for so long, whether i should ask her if she wants a divorce. I do really love her, and I am worried about the effect that it will have on my children. I think she loves me, but obviously not enough if she is cheating on me, is it better for me to stay with her, for the sake of my children and our company. I think that if we were to divorce, my wife and I would not get along very well, as there would be so much at stake, and i don’t want it to affect my children. It is such a hard decision, it might be because i have recently started a new degree at university, doing a double in Literature and Political Science, and maybe the stress of both of our work loads, as well as the balancing of the children and my new university degree has made it to difficult for her, maybe its my fault.
- Prolotherapy For Lateral Epicondylitis Prolotherapy is a medical technique where a irritant fluid is injected in the transition between the ligament and bone. The purpose here is to manipulate the repair and strengthening ligament to reduce chronic tennis elbow pain. In other words, prolotherapy is used to strengthen structural weaknesses in the arm. Muscular......
- Powerball AU 9million Nice first prize, not so easy to predict result, with sum totals and ANY filters not showing much clear direction. Look for a predominance of small numbers possibly, with a couple coming from way back in the draws. Numbers running HOT: 1 5 12 29 39 40 42 44 Numbers......
- Tennis Elbow Symptoms Tennis elbow is a painful condition, and actually more common that many people believe. This article describes tennis elbow symptoms, causes and available treatment and physical therapy for tennis elbow pain. Tennis elbow, also called lateral epicondylitis is a very common injury that results from overuse, injury, or strain of......
- Wednesday Lotto AU 750K Today's draw has some potential, as mentioned in the Monday draw comments: Soon to come: A draw where ALL numbers will come from only the last 4-7 draws!! Also look for all small numbers (under 33) to come in one of the next few draws. There is a good possibility......
- Saturday Lotto AU 4million Tracking through the NSW Lotto recent results, some quite extreme situations have occured in the patterns analysed. The sum totals have been difficult to predict, as there were 3 games in a row where the smallest number was 19, 20, 21 consecutively, this had not occured for 135 draws. The......
- My Elbow, Shoulder and Kneecap all hurt? I have heard I have Tennis elbow but how long is that supposed to last because I have had it for about 4-5 years, and it hurts most when i put pressure on? Also my shoulder has just started hurting recently im not sure if it is golfers shoulder......
- One Hundred Pushup Challenge -- Knee Push ups, 1 Handed Knee Pushups, and Full Push ups Well if you haven't heard by now then you aren't paying attention to the Health and Fitness blogosphere... Everyone is doing the 100 push up challenge at 100 push ups. It is a 6 week training program geared toward a final test where 100 consecutive pushups are completed. (My first......
Tagged with: Caught Cheating • Caught My Wife • Caught Wife • divorce • literature • love • political science • Sake • stake • stress • university degree • Wife Cheating • work loads
Filed under: Infidelity Warning Signs
Like this post? Subscribe to my RSS feed and get loads more!
Hey,
What isn’t she getting from you that she is getting from him? That is what I’d ask. Soundes like someone needed to be banged like drum and you weren’t up for the task.
And who the hell cares about your new university degree? What is a 43 yr old guy doing with a Lit/Poli Sci degree going to do?
Maybe if you are lucky she’ll let you stay. The other guy can be for fun and you can do the laundry and pay the bills.
BC
You might try having crazy ass sex with her alittle more and that goes for when your tired also mister maybe that will kick start her love for you again
If you can forgive then talk to her and try to work things out. Divorce can be hell. After you talk to her then consider some marriage counseling with her consent for both of you.
If you decide to get divorced first educate yourself about it before divorcing.
re: and i don’t want it to affect my children.
>> Nothing in an unhappy home ever benefits your children………they’re not stupid, mindless, robots running around in you life……they see and FEEL all the rotten crap their parents are pulling even if they don’t confront you about it!
re: if she is cheating on me, is it better for me to stay with her, for the sake of my children and our company.
>>> maybe better for your PRECIOUS company but not ever for your kids, who are or will be harmed and damaged by their crumby parents.
Do whatever it takes to protect your kids from being damaged by BAD parenting/parents!
I lost my true love to her cheating on me. She voiced to me many times what we were lacking and I just counted on her always being there no matter what. I know it was my fault.
You have to do soul searching and try at least once for the children’s sake. It is not those poor kids fault for adult mistakes. Good luck. I wish the kids well.
I am 42 and married now 21 years and staying together is a good option because of devorce is Ugly and kids get tossed thru the whole mess and they see so much of the bad because its no longer a secure envirement for them…
Well heres the way I see it! and you may not agree but listen up okay! If your wife doesnt know that you know and she is normal in home and work and with you, then I’d say yeah its just a sexual thing your not giving her and its merely that! Now if she visits the same man and you see attitude changes and sneakyness and herbehavior changing slowly too hate toward ya thyen sure be up front open and first of get proof and a lawyer… But! Play it very smart! There is a lot at stake and you know this! If your comfortable with her not knowing that you know and its more a sex type of anaffair and you think its simply that… well for you too finsh schooling and your kids too have security and peace of mind which is better or worse!
FIRST OF ALL IM SORRY FOR WHAT HAPPENED….I THINK SINCE BOTH OF YOU GUYS ARE GROWN UP YOU GUYS SHOULD SIT DOWN AND CALMLYLK ABOUT THE SITUATION LISTENEND EACH OTHER THINGS HAPHAPPENEDD BY YELLING AND ARGUING HELP THE SITUATION GET ANY BETTER….MAYBE SHE WILL TELL YOU SHE MAID A MISTAKE AND SHE WON’T DO IT AGEN IT 18 YRS PRETTY LONG TIME TO NOT GIVE THE PERSON YOU LOVE ANOTHER CHANCE IF YOU SEE THINGS DONT CHANGE THEN MAYBEDIVORCEORSE IT A GOOD IDEA BUT TALK TO YOUR KIDS ABOUT THE SITUATION DON’T LEAVE THEM OUT THEIR PART OF THE FAMILY BUT FIST YOU AND YOUR WIFE SHOULD TALK ABOUT THINGS …MOST IMPORTAND IF YOU GUYS DO DECIDE TO DIVORCE DON’T MAKE IT SEEM LIKE IT ONLY ONE PERSON FAULT WHY YOU GUYS DECIDED TO SPLIT THIS HAS A BIG AFFECT ON THE KIDS AND IT WOULD BE RELY NICE IF THE KIDS SEE THAT BOTH OF YOU GUYS ARE GROWN UP AND NOT BEING CHILDISH BY DOING THE BLAME IT THING THAT MOST GROWN UP STILL DO ……I TRULY WISH U GOOD LUCK
First of all, this is not your fault. Ask her exactly what she wants from this marriage. It sounds like she’s not communicating with you. I don’t really see the reason in sticking around with this lady, you guys aren’t getting any younger, no offense… i’m just saying, What if there’s some other woman out there who’s willing to live out eternity with you and who will give you her all! Do it now before it’s too late.
Your children will be upset i’m sure, but if you explain it to them, they should understand
i think that even if you have to do some studies..you should be close to wife..talk all the time..caress her hold her..go an have a walk all the time in the woods..and be close to her soul..also the kids need to play with them talk and educate them with love..and inteligence
personally and sincerely speaking, if she loves you, and if you fear that divorce will badly affect your and children’s future ,then avoid a divorce. But still your mind will not be happy ,by thinking always a cheated wife.So you can also find a sexual partner .There are many families are doing this, even though they may not agree it openly.
Things like this are usually no bodies fault. It just happens. But one thing for sure is that you need to talk to your wife and see if you can fix what is wrong with the marriage. And you can’t assume that she had an affair. Ask her about it. Leave divorce for the last option.
Talk to your wife.
You need to get over her and file for a divorce.
Has your wife confessed to the affair or ended it or is it still ongoing?
if she has cheated then she should be the one to move out but you have 4 kids one of whom is only 5 and they need both parents. Can you live in the same house together as a partnership for the sake of the children? you will have a lot of hurt which will come out in anger and there will be a lot of arguments and this may upset the children.
I would tell her shes free to go, im not sure if shes "fallen" into this affair and regrets it and wants to reconcile with you or whether shes still in it sorry i cant help more
Being a child of divorce, I feel that I have TWO GREAT parents, who worked on doing the divorce w/o hurting me as best they could - but guess what - it still hurt me. My life as a young preteen was shattered into many pieces of doubt, fear, distrust, and uncertainty.
I never thought of my parents not being together - I went to live with my dad, but I was convinced that I broke up my parents and asked myself - how could they stop loving each other - because I heard them tell each other this - so did that mean - one day one of them would tell me they did not want me?
Infidelity is not the worst thing that could happen in a relationship. Bring it to your wife’s attention - but do so w/o anger (I know it’s hard) - tell her you would like to see a relationship therapist. - Maybe, you both need to spice up your marriage - you have been married since you were kids - and you had kids while you were both very young.
It sounds like you both do not really know who each other really is and your wife probably loves you but some kind of void needs to be filled in her life. Her cheating is NOT YOUR FAULT - but you should try to work on saving your marriage - after these many years - you both are probably better friends than most people ever had the chance to develop. And, with four kids - a divorce will be expensive for both of you - why destroy their lives - if you both can get past your wife’s affair? And do not discuss your dislikes and troubles to your kids - it is self-destructive and puts them in the middle.
Suspicions and accusations are not going to cut it if you believe you are married to a cheating wife. Get all the facts before you confront your wife about her cheating. When it has been determined that she is indeed cheating, then you can determine the best course of action in handling the situation.
The best way to approach a cheating wife is non-confrontational. Ask her if everything is ok. Listen to how she responds. She must have been acting differently and sending you red flags or you wouldn’t have suspected infidelity in the first place. Many wives cheat on their husbands because the husbands do not listen. Open up the lines of communication with her and show her you are willing to listen. Show your vulnerability to her, as this is intimacy to a woman.
Do not threaten or become angry or violent. This may be easier said than done because your ego is bruised. You feel betrayed and rightly so. Trust has been broken, but now is the time to trust her the most to try and put the marriage back together. If you are non-confrontational and do not threaten her, she may be willing to calmly discuss her feelings and tell you why she cheated on you in the first place and how she is willing to fix it. You should not blame yourself for her misbehavior. Most likely it was luck of communications. As you probably know the decision to end a marriage does not come that easily or that fast.In deciding whether to dissolve your marriage or stay with a cheating wife and give her a second chance, many factors must be taken into consideration. Sometimes a relationship can be saved. If the cheater is genuinely sorry and is willing to work hard to rebuild the broken trust. Experts advise that it’s not advisable to take the cheater back if she refuses to sever ties with the lover.
Continues to lie about any aspect of the affair. Is a habitual who has had one or more affairs in the past. Feels no guilt or remorse for having hurt her spouse. Wants to fast-forward the healing process and proceed as if nothing has happened. Feels has a right to cheat or have an extramarital affair. Does not feel that cheating is wrong.
It isn’t your fault what she does, she is accountable for her actions. You should contact a counselor and see if you two could work out your differences. It sounds like there is a lot of stress in your home. Sit down and talk to her and ask her what she wants to do. You need to tell her you love her, but are confused why this all came about. Hopefully she can give you some answers.
We all have stresses in life. Why would you justify her having an affair? It was her poor character, lack of commitment and selfishness that caused her to have an affair. She has children and a husband and it didn’t seem to matter to her. What mattered was that she fulfilled her selfish lust and to hell with her family. Please don’t make excuses for this woman.
It is stupid to divorce after 25 y marriage just because of a stupid cheating - which means almost nothing Tell her that you know that she is cheating (what is not 100% sure anyway) and add that you do not want to divorce, but you want to discuss how to arrange the future life. There are many options, you may agree about one of them, but later you may change to an other one. There is no real reason to panic or getting depressed or else. If you two love/respect each other then you will cope the problem easily.
seems as though you two should just talk and then decide what to do but she doesn’t need to be cheating on you that is a DEF NO NO in any relationship
Yeah you spread her legs for that other guy right? Stop feeling like it’s your fault she doesn’t love you anymore, she might care about you but there is no love there anymore. You need to leave her, like you said you will still have good communication with her for the kids sake. You will never be able to trust her again and you will just live miserable if you stay with her. Good luck!