Did my girlfriend cheat on me??!! (long post, genuine answers appreciated)?
This is a very long post, DON’T READ ON IF YOU DON’T HAVE THE TIME!!!
Sorry that this question is long.
I’m too embarrassed to talk about this with friends.
First off, I am not possessive, I have not been cheated on previously and I don’t ask my girlfriend to “check in” on her holidays and nights out. The first time in a good while I do check up and I will share with you my situation.
I’m 31, same age as girlfriend, both have good jobs… we do not live together but have been together for over 3 years. Recently, her company stayed over at a hotel on a Friday after their conference. My girlfriend in advance made arrangements to stay and told me in advance, which was slightly out of character to stay over.
Ok so the night happens. At about 1am I am getting texts to say I’m she is in bed and going to sleep now. I missed her and wanted to see if she was ok before she went to sleep. When I got through, she was clearly absolutely hammered, and as I found out at this point was sat on the bed in her hotel room, with a male colleague she had been chatting to down in the bar, yes she had invited him into her room. In the short space of this call, she was flirty with him and he was clearly into her, he was very vocal and wanted me to hear. They shared a joke about me “interrupting her party” and that she had better get back to her friend etcetc, and instead of hanging up the call, just flicked the phone off onto the bed. I then heard him feeding her and she was laughing, so drunk she cannot even remember answering my call. Bare in mind I had a text to say she was going to sleep now. I had heard enough and hung up in anger.
That is the last I heard until the morning and I was so angry all that night. We spoke in the morning and she could not remember talking to me. I had to tell her what happened and piece together her night from my persepctive which she got defensive over and denied. I presumed the worse as she cannot handle her drink and is quite loud and very lairy when drunk.
Since this day, I have had several different stories as to this and that, with differences and inconsistencies throughout. I asked her to swear on her ill grandad’s life (twice I’ve done this) and she 100% maintains she did not touch kiss or anything more with this colleague. In fact, she makes me feel bad for asking like I asked once and should never ask again and that the doubts i have are ridiculous.
I know people might say just talk to her. We’re through talking about this. She won’t talk to me about it. Her work circle of friends are people I will never encounter so it is a closed debate with only her side of events.
I can’t tell if I have been cheated on. To sit here after three years and not know whether my girlfriend f—–d someone else is bugging me. I’m not the type to have doubts, and now I do. She has admitted telling lies about who and what she was doing so she has a proven ability to lie recently. Now all of a sudden, nights out with her friends over all these years, nights stayed away, the people she’s gone out with, and how too trusting i may have been…. I can’t stop thinking about it.
I’m a decent sorta guy, I don’t think I have done anything wrong here… but I wanted to see if anyone had any thoughts on her actions and if on the face of it, you’d be in my position or “over it” like she says I should be. She admits she went out “mad at me” over a really insignificant disagreement over something trivial and that’s why she behaved as she did with the call. She actually in that call indirectly suggested she was about to f—k this guy (a joke to hurt me she says). Who, by the way has recently been conveniently “sacked” and she wont see him again.
I know that was a lot to read I am very grateful for your time. I’ve always been a sexual person and lately ever since this episode a few weeks ago the sex has been zero. So (you’ve gotta have humour in this situation) my girlfriend put herself on a plate that night, did anyone dine at her table haha?! What’s your opinion?
BW
Gefle
MALI, XOUT, TYVERIS - thanks for your time and your answers… I can’t close the question yet but cheers.
BOB - What is the point in bothering to read something that long, then taking the time to reply with that sh-t? "Just turn gay" after a potential infidelity? That’s either homophobic or indicative, the latter I suspect. Your mom / girlfriend / boyfriend must be really proud.
Otherwise, thanks, feel a bit better now!
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Tagged with: 100 Nights • 3 years • anger • girlfriend • holidays • hotel room • jobs • joke • male colleague • persepctive • short space • sleep • texts
Filed under: Catch A Cheater
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well, it doesn’t look good. But I’m inclined to believe her story, as much as it changes. Its embarrassing to her which makes it a sore spot. But as sex has been zero since, you have to "sit down and talk to her" about this and sort out feelings and figure out if this is it or can you both move past it. Its not going to be pleasant but needs to be done if you are to salvage your relationship. Good luck.
i can feel your pain and misery….i am truely and deeply sad for your loss…just turn gay.
No girl worth being with would get hammered, lie about sleeping, invite a colleague into her room and then "joke" about banging him. I say she is trouble, whether she slept with him or not. I’d never do that to a girl I was with.
It’s hard to say if she cheated, or if she was just playing a mean prank on you for some reason, or if maybe the guy took advantage of her drunkenness. I don’t think you should push the issue any more but if she’s not willing to tell you the truth about what happened that night it’s a really bad sign. You’re not going to be able to trust her any time she goes off by herself again. Sorry man.
My ex did something similar to this. Got drunk with her ex and always just said she didn’t remember exactly what happened. My advice would be if you trust her then stay. If you can’t trust her and don’t see yourself being able to trust her anytime soon then find someone you can.