How do you tell your future partners that you have HSV type 2?
My ex husband cheated on me. He gave it to me. I was diagnosed in 1997 and I haven’t had any symptoms for a few years now. My OB said if I don’t see it around 5 years, (almost there) I probably won’t see it again. I know I can still "shed" and be contagious to future partners. I heard of dating sites of other HSV 2 persons, (genital herpes) but I don’t have symptoms and no longer experiencing the disease other than it being "in my system", so I don’t want to put myself in a situation to get "re-infected" again. Sorry if that sounds hypocritical, but it was a terrible ordeal to go through, and I just don’t want to again.
I know the ratio of people having the problem is larger than people anticipate, but, how many are actually sharing their details? And those who do, how do you tell the person? I am nervous about telling people I may be interested in, even though I know I didn’t cause this problem, I had monogamous sex with a man I thought I knew. Thank you.
In reply to the first response:
I don’t plan on not telling people, that’s the point of my question. If I didn’t care I certainly wouldn’t ask; but I know that many people don’t, not only because they choose not to tell people out of fear or selfishness, but because they simply don’t know they have it.
I’d like to add before anyone judges, if you have sex regularly, like most folks do, whether you’re monogamous or not, GET TESTED for STD’s regularly! You never know.. sometimes symptoms don’t show! We’re all different.. and…You can never be too safe. It’s not only for your safety, but also for the safety of your current/future partners. If you don’t have health insurance, there are many clinics that offer assistance.
Also, HSV 2 is dangerous for women who plan on having a baby naturally. Educate yourself!
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Tagged with: Dating Sites • fear • first response • genital herpes • having a baby • health insurance • herpes • hsv 2 • Hsv Type 2 • insurance • monogamous sex • ordeal • quot • reply • Selfishness • sex with a man
Filed under: Infidelity Warning Signs
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Like this: "I have HSV type 2".
Sorry to sound sarcastic, but in that situation, it’s best not to mince words or beat around the bush. Just flat out tell them, and make sure you have alot of information to answer the inevitable flurry of questions with.
Just one more thing: if you don’t tell them, and they contract it, you can be charged with criminal negligence.
it’s hard to tell someone especially when it’s someone you like etc. its best to be honest. i wouldn’t bring it up to just anyone, but someone that you potentially are going to have sex with. i would explain that you haven’t had any problems but carry the virus and you’re being honest as a precaution as to not infect someone else as you were. if the person is kind and really into you then they will understand. trust me.
No matter how you slice it, it is tough. There are on-line dating, friendship and support groups for people with HSV 1 or 2. Here is the basics… Make sure you know the facts, refer the person to the Internet to learn about it themselves. Understand it is not going to be easy breaking the news as it places you in a pretty vulnerable position. Go for a walk, to a park, some place quite and sit the person down and explain your feelings and that you want a lifelong relationship. Explain what happened and how you contracted HSV 2. If you have already been intimate with this person, be prepared to answer the big question of: "Why didn’t you tell me before?". Good luck and if you need support or want to hear from others with HSV 2, visit club462 and join one of their support rooms.
My friend dated a guy who didn’t tell her until late in the relationship. She FLIPPED out on him. She later told me that she loved him, but since he waited so late to tell her, she felt betrayed. They had been together a couple years. So be sure you don’t wait that long. I know that’s got to be a tough decision. Also, BELIEVE IT OR NOT, its not a big deal to some people. Just be truthful, and tell them before you have sex. Its not like your gonna say, you were hooking downtown and bam woke up one day to HSV 2. You were cheated on and didn’t get to make a choice, THAT SUX, but if you just be honest and say it like it is, if its the right person, it wont matter to them. I have you in my prayers. Good luck.
Me and my husband have been together for 5 years and I told him that I had HSV-2 before we where ever intimate it’s really no way to tell how some one is going to react and thats why it’s so scary…just be up front and honest…you really have no choice but to deal with what ever reaction that person has….just don’t have sex before you tell him…..It’s people have done that and have actually gotten killed…..good luck
i have had hsv2 since 2003 and have only had 2 outbreaks the initial one and one 2 months later . you cant get rid of herpes . you can control it with antivirals like valtrex and such .but, because you haven’t had an outbreak in almost five years, doesnt mean you dont have it anymore. my g/f has had it for about 20 years( since she was about 18 ) had a couple of outbreaks in the first couple years. then ,didnt have any for 15 years .. then,….. lo and behold, had a pretty bad outbreak just last month so,…..u dont get rid of it. it doesnt go away so there is no chance of re-infecting yourself you will still have it /……..always
i see that u a in dilemma now,but i think btween a couple,honest is the most important thing,if u wanna continue ur relationship,it is certain that u shud be honest and brave enough to face this matter, i have just have a serious talk with my bf i knew from positivesingles.com,he thought that i am not beautiful but i am honest,so he loves me even i am not slim(he likes slim girl),and i told him me,too