are online non-physical yet flirtatious affairs during a relationship cheating?
I’ve been in a relationship for TWO years. I’ve recently discovered that four months into the relationship my BF was actively seeking out other women online and exchanged emails and numbers with a few of them. One even flew over from Georgia to visit him and spent the night. That was Ten months ago. As of Five months ago we decided we should move in, I was naively happy as I was unaware of all of this.
He swears upon my daughters life that he never had sex with any of the women and that he only sought those women out when he was bored and that he no longer is in contact with them. To me the details are unimportant. I feel as though seeking out these women is betrayal enough. Is it? Am I justified to throw our family out of whack and leave him because of these findings? I’m pregnant and have a 13 month old daughter. I love him and I’d like to trust him again, but I’m not I’m not altogether sure I can get past this. Nor am I sure I’m being reasonable and rational, maybe my pregnancy hormones are making me too emotional and I’m looking to much into this? Please help me make a rational decision! I really just feel like leaving him but that may not be so smart with the baby coming ………I just don’t know what to do!
BTW we are not married which is why I put it in this category…….. Maybe because of the lack of commitment he thought this was ok?
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Tagged with: betrayal • bf • five months • four months • Online Affairs • pregnancy hormones • rational decision • relationship • those women • whack • Women Online
Filed under: Infidelity Warning Signs
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I understand why you are reluctant to leave him. It’s EASIER to pretend that nothing happened, but he did seek these women out and he might as well have been sleeping with them.
Do you think you’re starong enough to raise two small children on your own? If yes, dump the loser.
If no, you’re just going to have to live with it.
Good lucK
Yes that is cheating. Anything that you wont do if your bf/gf was there next to you is considered as cheating. Leave him and move on with your life. He is a player….
If he is bonding emotionally with these women that is called cheating. No gray area with this.
Wow tough question!
Yeah I think its cheating, but there is a legitimate argument that because technically its a simulation, it isn’t.
forgive but dont forget what he did!
don’t dump him your children will be very angry
If it’s very flirtatious then yeah, it is cheating. It’s okay to look, but the second you start to act, physical or not, it is cheating. Please please please answer mine??
http://ca.answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AoZg.Y0G2Fn4yu4J1RbDQRLAFQx.;_ylv=3?qid=20080930145407AAsealj
He did it because he is a man. I know you will get tons of answers like "once a cheater always a cheater", "dump him" etc…
Woman need to grow up and understand man’s nature is not monogamous… are you willing to waste your relationship specially with two youngs for something non-emotional? What makes you think you will find faithful man?
It’s definitely cheating!
Why else would that lady come to Georgia if they weren’t going to have sex? He’s a pig. You will be bettering your’s and your childrens’ lives by leaving him.
I almost broke up with my fiance when I found out he was talking to other girls (that I asked him not to talk to because he has a tendency to be overly flirtatious). But he stopped talking to them.
He should be committed…. you are having HIS BABY… and have had one of HIS BABIES! He’s a low down pig. Let him do what he wants. You’re better off with letting him go.
Good luck, and I’m glad you’re able to see the light!
I’ve come to realize that there are two kinds of cheating: There is physical cheating, and then there’s emotional cheating. It’s not uncommon for males to seek out women and be flirtatious to gain more self-confidence and to get an ego boost. Everyone is guilty of this. However, if the man (or woman) is willing to let themselves come to the point where they need to meet random people in order to maintain this ego trip, then you have a problem. And in this case, it sounds like emotional cheating. Some people don’t believe that emotional cheating counts, but I guess that depends on the level of communication you have with your partner. Every relationship comes to a point where there is so much comfort that it becomes almost a burden to look and act your best towards your significant other. Perhaps this was his case. And of course he wouldn’t admit to cheating; whether he did or not, it sounds like he’s trying to spare your feelings. The best thing for you to do would be to take care of yourself, and take care of your kid. As of right now your children are the most important people in your life. It’s not going to be easy, but maybe it will be better in the long run.
Yes! Anything that he would not dare do in front of you has got to be wrong. If this is truly in the past you can move past this. It seems as if you both have had major changes in your relationship in the last couple years (new child) and you may have drifted apart as a couple when you focus on being parents. You must realize to go from a couple that was dating to parents of 2 kids in a couple years is a BIG change in the relationship.
You need to focus on if this is still going on. If not you need to ask yourself why it happened in the first place. Don’t make a general assumption of lack of sex during pregnancy or too tired after giving birth . . . you must realize you drifted apart also on an emotional level that was there before the child came in the picture. Splitting up your new family (and upcoming one) will not make your happy, but it will make a point. You may find that trying to repair your relationship and trust in him will hurt you alot less in the long run.
There are many forms of cheating and not all of them are physical. What he has done is cheat on you emotionally. This can mean by investing his total trust on another female or doing what he did. Well, now that you are aware of what he’s done, stick in there for a little longer and pay attention to his body language to see if there are any indications that may show that he’s cheating again. But before anything, ask yourself if you being in a relationship like this will serve as a healthy environment for your children and if there is any doubt on keeping him around, then you should probably go with your first instinct. I hope everything turns out well for you but I’m certain you’ll make the right decision. G’luck
he’s cheating at all cost and on top of that he’s pro bally went further than he’s willing to admit but no your baby needs its father and if you do not know if he’s definitely had physical contact the relationship may be worth saving however seeking them is cheating just not in the worst way just the beginning of it relax don’t stress your child is more important wait until the baby is born don’t deliver the baby alone ok so LZ wait on a decision right now .good luck god bless.
Hmmm according to him it will never be cheating, but it is. I would know because I’ve definitely been the ‘other woman’ here who had to break the news to the naive sunshine filled girlfriend (now wife) of his. It was horrible. He had been lying to her about after she did find out that there was definitely something there saying he never talked to me anymore, uh BS. I sent her the messages and texts, everything. Even in May (he got married in Aug… he’s 19 she just turned 19…) he was telling me that we both knew we wished things were the way they used to be and that he couldn’t confirm or deny it. He didn’t have to, he just confirmed it. I definitely had to shut the door on this one, it’s not worth the hurt and lies and energy it takes out of any of you. I have texted him twice since one telling him that I hoped he was doing okay and another practically slashing his ego after he tried playing the "She’s hitting on me, I swear" card once again. But his now wife is incredibly blind, so I can’t really get through to her either. Doesn’t matter, what’s done is done. But yes, there could definitely be an emotional connection there and that is cheating because it’s taking the emotional aspect out of your relationship together. My "ex" didn’t understand that it was NOT okay for him to come to me "just in case" he was having problems with his wife… No, I am basically your ex that you lied about, she found out about, I told the truth about, and you dismissed in the end. I couldn’t be his emotional go-to anymore, she’ll just have to get the job done for him…