I am PREGNANT & REALLY NEED SOME HELP!?
i am 3 &1/2 months pregnant and from early on i have had bad symptoms: morning sickness, vomiting and severe tiredness, my husband is drifting further away from me and just now at 10.30pm as im going to bed he starts getting ready to go out, he gambles but i have never had a reason to suspect him of cheating, i have not been affectionate at all since i found out i was pregnant and that includes sexually, i feel like i have lost all self confidence and i dont even feel strong enough to talk to him anymore, i always feel like everything he does- he justifies it or blames me. How could i deal with this in a non-aggressive way?
he really wants this child even more than me, could it be related to the lack of sex in our relationship?
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Tagged with: amp • gambles • lack of sex • morning sickness • Pregnant • relationship • self confidence • tiredness • vomiting
Filed under: Infidelity Warning Signs
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the hormones really are a powerful thing when you are pregnant. As long as your realize it’s the hormones, you can start to control your actions a little more though. Try being affectionate even if you don’t really feel like it. That doesn’t mean you have to have sex! But you shouldn’t completely eliminate the hugs and kisses. Relationships need that kind of stuff to thrive.
Also, try not to pick fights, I know it’s easy with all the hormones and the agitation… but just try! Your husband will much appreciate it.
That being said- it’s really not all your fault. your husband sounds like he’s being completely inconsiderate. Why on earth would be need to leave at 10:30 at night…?? Sorry hun, but something about that does not seem right. I wouldn’t blindly trust him on that one. With the other warning signs (the drifting away, lack of sex, etc) you should really trust but verify. I would definitely find out where on earth he’s going at 10:30 at night when he should be at home in bed with his wife.
He needs to be treating you right too. And to be understanding that you’re having a miserable time right now. It takes two to make things work.
Good luck to you!! I hope all goes well. Let us know what you find out.
Have you heard the name DOCTOR???
get some help, professionaly, if not the stress could make your have a harder pregnancy
I think you should go out somewhere quiet like a park or something and yall just talk yall feelings out. and you need to start giving him sex because if you dont someone will. but yall just have honest communication so both of yall can see what the problem is. it should work out.
all i can say is try even if your not feeling it to be affectionate I would also say that you should get advice from a family /marriage counselor.
tell him how you are feeling as regards the pregnancy eg ill tired lack of sex drive and that you would like to be able to share these experiences with him and that you do not want to go at it alone also try to find someone in the family or friends that you can talk to remember that your head is going to be all over the place at the moment due to your hormones rising everyday they will settle and you will start to feel better honest hope this helps hun and good luck
you might be going through depression talk to your doctor
You both need to sit down together with a councler or without if you think you can and talk together.Either way you both need to talk to each other before your marrige is ruined.Best of luck
Well if you think it is because he doesnt want to have sex then you should tell him that your relationship isnt all about sex and that you didnt know he married you just for sex. Try to tell him that it is hard being pregnant and that you really need his support.
Just because you are pregnant doesn’t mean you don’t have to have sex. I mean you are talking about a life time for him. Sex is the most beautiful thing between two people who love each other. You take that away and it makes the husband and wife realtionship become more like a brother and sister relationship. Also you don’t have to make him feel like he is doing a lot of bad things to make you upset but you do need to let him know how it makes you feel when those things come up. A man doesn’t really understand the entire thing of having a baby. They know the basics like how long a woman carries the child. If you start to tell him the little things that you feel every month with the pregnancy
Being a sick pregnant lady I know some of how you feel
Pregnancy is hard. It takes a lot out of you both physically and mentally. That’s just a fact. And people always talk about the baby blues that come after you have the baby, but a lot of women fight with depression durring pregnancy.
It sounds like you have reason to be irritated with your husband for the things he is doing… and it also sounds like just the pregnancy is hard enough that he should understand that you just aren’t feeling well…
BUT
Men are very different than women. Were generally we say a realtionship is talking and supporting… they tend to have a more physical view and value sex much more.
Try to talk to him about the reasons you have been acting the way you have… body image, stress, you’re tired, you’re nervous… everything. Reassure him that you love him and that you are attracted to him, that it’s just hard to have sex when you feel like you are more a holder for your baby than a sexual being.
Also, I will be the first one to tell you, I told my husband more than once that I didn’t feel like having sex, but I tried to be intimate in other ways. Makeing a concious effort to kiss and hug him, to wink at him, to even "take care of him" in other ways.
Pregancy can put a strain on a marriage if both you and your spouse are not willing to give a little and communicate.
Talk to him… even if you cry… even if you are scared… jsut talk to him, and he will talk too.
even when someone wants a baby, reality hits sometime or another. you need to talk with him. he should be home with you and not out gambling…that which can turn into a huge problem…and thats the last thing you need with a baby on its way. try and get the courage up to talk to him…he is your husband and you should never feel uncomfortable around him. you both can try and get through this together.
You need to talk to him and let him know how you feel and tell him how this is affecting your pregnancy. Also let him know that you aren’t just having this baby for you, its for him to and if he doesn’t understand that then he needs to take a big boy pill and get over it. sometimes people think that they are justified in there actions because you are "Hormonal" no its not like you are wanting to be like this. you cant help it. On the other hand girl if i was you i would smack him upside his head and tell his a** to get over it! be strong because if it was meant to be then it will work out
I am going through almost the exact same thing. He goes out to bars and pubs and stays out until late. Also he has been a bit distant and our fights are common and strained. I’m not in the mood most of the time to have sex and I’m at 5 months but have been having this problem with him since I was 3 months.
Well one night I was awake when he got home and he was still a bit drunk. He started explaining to me that he felt trapped by the pregnancy and needed to go out while he could.
He said he still loved me a lot but that my irritability was really getting to him and I didn’t even realize! I know I’m grouchy but didn’t think I was so bad. I think its a very difficult situation and takes understanding on both parts.
I also am having a difficult pregnancy and can’t do 90% of what I could before and it is difficult for him to accept. Unfortunately this is just adding to the strain but because he watches what I’m going through he has gotten better about being considerate in that respect. It has taken time though.
Mine hasn’t been cheating but if I didn’t take steps to make him feel loved I think he would have. First, even if I’m not in the mood I put myself there mostly by ignoring new low self esteem caused by my changing body.
On the days when the sickness isn’t as bad I try to do the little extra things for him( special meals, ironing, fixing myself up pretty) for him and he notices because its behavior I haven’t shown since before pregnancy.
Also I put a check on my irritableness. I am taking care not to start unnecessary fights or not to pick up on unnecessary fights he starts.
I realize that although he is happy about the baby he misses the woman I used to be before I got pregnant.
If this is your first pregnancy for both of you then he probably just doesn’t know how to act or what to expect from you. For me and my hubby it was that way until I actually started to show a big belly, then he got a little more sensitive. In the beginning though I printed on bright highlighter poster, all of the horrible symptoms i was going through and all of the bad things I was feeling from pregnancy and posted it on the door for him to see every time he walked passed it. sometimes they just don’t know what you are feeling or going through! and I can definitly agree on you with not wanting to be affectionate… you feel like crap! why would you want to be affectionate!?! Good luck and I know things will work out for you guys! just give him some time! but for him to be going out and stuff…. that would really upset me.
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