Married couples, STD question?
Ok I need some advice. My hubby and I are newlyweds. Been together a year total. I know before we met, I had sex with a partner (we had sex often for about 2 years total as basically sex buddies) unprotected. I have had at least 2 pap smears after sex with my ex, always clean (no STD’s or issues). After the last times we did it, no paps, then met husband. Well hubby told me he had a one night stand (unprotected) a month before we met. (No testing after) Ok so fast forward a year. I am having lower abdominal pain, discharge, and I do have a pap tomorrow. Now my thought is, what if I find out I have an STD from a long time ago? There is no way to prove WHO gave WHO the STD. I still feel I would be absolutely terrified to tell him? I was tempted to lie (If I had one) and say I had a bacterial infection, and the doc wants us both treated, etc…(I am a nurse and can lie my way very well) But then I am like, why should I lie? I mean, it is not necessarily from ME! Now I may have NO STD, after all, it has been a year, and I have had no issues til now. Also, I am 100% certain there is no cheating going on. And yes, I do know STD’s can show no symptoms at times. So my question is, how would you personally handle this situation? It’s almost like I feel like if I find out I have something, it boils down to my body, my fault. It’s tricky.
To the 2nd answerer. I am NOT saying I would not tell him he needs treatment! I would never do that! I am saying I may tell him he needs to take antibiotics to treat it, but call it a ‘bacterial infection’ rather than an STD. How can I not let him get treated and still be intimate? Come on now.
First off, I have never cheated. Ever. And the last partner I had was not two years ago, it was right before we met, in Feb 2008, so 9 months ago. My thought was what if I did get something at that time, did not know, and since it was untreated it has manifested itself worse in the present. I never had issues or symptoms until this week. I am positive he has never cheated. Why are people speculating such awful things?
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Tagged with: 9 months • antibiotics • bacterial infection • buddies • hubby • long time • lower abdominal pain • Married Couples • newlyweds • night stand • nurse • pap smears • Std
Filed under: Infidelity Warning Signs
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First of all, calm down and quit jumping to worst case scenario. It is entirely possible that you don’t have an STD, it could be an infection that has nothing to do with an STD. Secondly, you know that HPV can remain in the body for years with no symptomolgy showing, up to 10 years! So it could be him, it could be you, but there should be no guilt. It is what it is and must be dealt with. And the best way to deal with it is by honesty. Tell him honestly what the problem is, deal with it together. This is one of the "bad times" you both vowed to get through together on your wedding day. But whatever you do, DO NOT LIE. If you lie you will be betraying him in the worst way. You will be essentially telling him you don’t trust him and don’t have faith in him. How would you feel if he did that to you?
As my gran always cautioned me, "Tell the truth and shame the devil"
Best thing to do is get to the doctor and find out exactly what you have. If it is an STD, be honest and tell him and get treatment for both of you. Then let the past go.
So if you have an STD, you are not going to tell your husband who may also have one so that he can never get treatment? Wow, how cold hearted and selfish can you get? If you actually love your husband and you do indeed have an STD, tell him because he has every right to know and he needs treatment.
You were the one who is considering lying. You said it yourself.
Oh I bet if you told your husband right now that you actually considered not telling him you had an STD, that he would feel very very very hurt, angry, betrayed, and angry. Tell him and see what happens.
Oh you horny little thing you LOL
I’m sorry this is waaaay to gross! You sound like an absolute SKANK!!!
It’s been a year he may have just gotten it and given it to you. Best to find out what it is and treat it and openly discuss what is going on.
Honesty is always the best policy. End of story.
Go and get a pap, find out what the end result is, go from there. If you have something then straight up tell him. If you don’t then don’t mention anything but what the real problem is.
I am a nurse too! Lol
if youre a nurse, then you really should be able to realise that the only way you got this std (if you were actually clean in the tests before) was through HIM.
are you for real… girl… just go to the doctor. You probably have a UTI or something!
There is no way you would be having symptoms of pelvic inflammatory disease from an std you contracted "two years ago" (by what you are saying).
Your symptoms are PID. As a nurse, you should know that you have either chlamydia or gonorhea. Hello!
Or even nine months ago! Or two! An STD will become PID in a matter of weeks. Not months.
Close em, quit cheating! And come clean with your husband.