Help!! How do I break serious (to me) news to my new "boyfriend" about STD's??
I started seeing this WONDERFUL man(appr 2 wks), so far-we dont want to be w/out each other!! I have been avoiding geting "intimate" at this time. Reason– I have genital herpes & mild case of hpv (monitoring for cerv. cancer). This was a lovely gift from my ex husband of 5 years, who cheated on me, hence–no longer together. He got away with it was b/c I never had any symptoms(still dont)of these dx, labs -clean for many yrs. Its been something extremely hard to come to terms with for the past 2 yrs. Especially since I’ve never been one to sleep around for this reason. I never thought this would happen to me! I figured if I was a loving & faithful partner I’d never have to worry about these things. Back to my question, how do I tell him about my "past". I dont want to loose him & I know I HAVE to tell him, I have a consience. I wouldnt even know how to initiate the conversation, or what to say? Im scared, even thinking of just ending it now & not have to deal with this.
Men (and women)…any tips on what or how to literally start this conversation?? Best way to approach it, for him not to freak him out. Im just so scared about bringing this up. Im just one of those one-of-a -kind women that got burned, badly. I know I still have a lot of love to give. I know how to give, love and understand unconditionally. I just trusted the wrong person.
OR - What would you say or think if you were on the receiving end of this conversation?
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Tagged with: amp • Break • cancer • cerv • consience • faithful partner • freak • genital herpes • herpes • Hpv • kind women • love • men and women • mild case • quot • Reason • sleep • Std • wks • wonderful man • worry • wrong person
Filed under: Infidelity Warning Signs
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that really sucks =(
I would just tell him privately when time permits that you need to tell him something very important and explain how your ex-husband passed on those horrible diseases and how it wasn’t ur fault AT ALL. he’ll understand if he really loves ya’ but he might be freaked out at first.
Honesty is the best policy. It might be really awkward at the moment, but the worst thing he can do is end the relationship, which you are already willing to do. So i say just tell him the truth and if he is ok with it, then you really know that he is a nice guy
NO!!! Don’t end the relationship! I’m in the same situation as you are, although I do not have a boyfriend right now. It’s only been two weeks, I think I’d give it a little bit longer but not too much, maybe after you’ve been seeing him a month you should sit him down and have "the talk". But this is not a death sentence! He has to know that everybody has a past and this is just a nuisance that you have to deal with. If he really loves you and it sounds like he does, it won’t make any difference. Good luck……..
I am so sorry about this. that is terrible that ur ex would sleep around and not tell u about his STD’s. I am sorry. well i think you should set up a time, let him over for dinner and tell him u have to talk start out saying that u really like him and wouldnt do anything to hurt him and that is why u want to tell him about ur STD’s. u have to tell him and if he is not accepting of it, then he doesnt really like u
How do you tell him. Well one way is to have him a box of condoms. When he stops grinning and asks why you gave them to him, explain to him what happened. Tell him the only way you are getting intimate with him is for him to have at least one of those condoms or any brand he prefer with him at all times in case the mood strikes. Be up front it wasnt your fault. I am sure he knows you were married once. If he doesnt start by telling him about your marriage and the reason for the divorce. Tell him before the doctor has to
Wow that is horrible, I had a friend that had gotten herpes from her BF and she married him they have been together for four years I kind of think she did it because she wanted to avoid your situation of having to tell her next partner but anyway, I wouldn’t worry about just yet you have only been dating a couple weeks and that reason gives you a reason to wait longer get to know each other first hopefully he respects that if he doesn’t then maybe it isn’t meant to be but I wouldn’t want to tell him this soon but if the relationship is going good than you will have to tell him which is going to be hard for you but if he is the "one" he will love you no matter what!