HELP! Not sure what to do…?
I just found out last night that my husband had an "affair"…you know the Bill Clinton kind. Problem is, this isn’t the first time this has happened. About 5 years ago, he cheated with a "friend" of mine while I was out of town on business. I only found out about the recent events because he had to go to the doctor to find out if he had contracted something due to symptoms he’s apparently suffering from. So now, I’m not only dealing with the issue at hand, but I have to go through the embarrassment of a doctor’s visit today because he cheated! We have 2 beautiful children and I thought we had a great marriage. He seems genuinely sincere about being sorry, but I wonder if he’s just sorry I know. We’ve been married for almost 10 years…any suggestions? I’m totally at a loss right now.
He travels with work and this happened with an employee at the hotel he stays at (he’s there at least 3 times a week). I give him everything he wants/asks for as far as our relationship goes (including sex).
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Tagged with: 10 years • bill clinton • embarrassment • issue at hand • marriage • relationship
Filed under: Infidelity Warning Signs
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Wow, first of all breathe….you are right to be angry and embarassed, but I wouldn’t go alone to the doctor. I’d make him go with me and sit though the humiliation. If you’re gonna be embarassed then he should sit and squirm too. Secondly, I would tell him that you want him to go to counseling. He needs to know why he feels like he has to look outside the marriage to have his sexual needs met. It’s not you, he has to get to the root of his issues. You should put your foot down and tell him that this is the last time that you will deal with this. He’s putting your life in danger by having unprotected sexual relations, which could potentially leave your children motherless..think about it. Good luck, hope it all works out.
He’s sorry alright, sorry he got caught!
How can you do that to someone you "love"…I just don’t get it.
It’s difficult with children and a ten year marriage..but this bum will cheat again. He’s demonstrated a complete willingness to risk not only his health and welfare but yours…and ultimately your children’s welfare. What if he came home and infected you with HIV and both of you were to die of AIDS…what of the children? He’s not going to change…he is what he is.
That is just horrible, does he say why he did it? That is a long time, 10 years, however you say that this is not the first time…..I can honestly say im sorry and i really dont know what to tell you… i guess you have to be in that situation to truly understand… im sorry
Counseling, counseling, counseling! It is possible to save marriages from such things, with communication and understanding. But I think this is not something to be handled on your own or without some professional help. That will give you the best chance at success…if that is what you want.
how bout you try to take his heart…man weak point is by the heart…take his heart and try to prevent him from going out without u,…
this kind of guy is bored u noe..maybe he doesnt get what he wants at home so he went out for a new ones…so try to be more understanding towards him…if this keep on happening…ask for an expert..
happened to a friend of mine…he cheated on her 6x in their 18 year marriage. once a cheater, always a cheater. get out now before he DOES give you something!!
these are the only 2 you KNOW about…..
You have to let him go. I’m sorry. But if he does it once as you’ve seen, he’ll do it again. You need to take charge and let him know that you don’t stand for that and that if he had truely loved you then he never would have done it in the first place.
I would be sorry too if i brought something home.
I would be on my knees.
This is strike 2 the question is how many time did he get away with it and not bring any thing extra home?
Good luck because I have a bad feeling you will be making more Dr. visits.
He is sorry that you found out. Its one thing to have a affair but to go unprotected that’s very disrespectful to you and your children. Not only is he jeopardizing your relationship but he is also jeopardizing you and your kids health. He may bring something home to you and your kids that could be life threating.
Maybe you should go get counseling and find out why he is living so dangerous and then you will be able to have the information that you need to make a decision on whether the marriage is worth saving o not.
he cheated u twice…how do u know he wont do it again…i don think he is genuinely sorry…he would obviously pretend to b since he is cought…
besides how do u know for sure that there were only two..may b there were more u donno abt…
Yep… he’s sorry he got caught…
ask yourself if you can forgive him… if no… then call an attorney… go for everything you can get in the divorce. if yes… you can forgive him… he has some changes to make and needs to come clean.
Seek counseling on how to solve his problem together. good luck. Hope he doesn’t have a STD… what a scum bag.
Sometimes time is just time. He’s not sorry he cheated. He’s sorry he got caught. He’ll change and not do it again until he meets another willing cohart. The fact that he contracted a STD let’s you know that his escapades are unprotected. That means he’s not considering your health and safety. You have some tough decisions to make. I won’t make any suggestions as to what they are because you already know. Let me say though that, people will only treat you as bad as you allow them to. And they’ll only repeat an action as many times as you offer them the opportunity. I hate that you’re involved with a creep but you have to consider you, because he’s obviously not.
I feel he has been doing this all along -It’s just now your starting to realize what has really been going on. {denial subconsciously} All your friends have probably told you this also, you should try to go on your own and have the rest of your life in peace without drama it will eventually take its toll on you and your children. He may just need a chief cook and bottle washer to handle the problems of his everyday life -which is very self centered and controlling. Why don’t you go on a little retreat of your own and visit your relatives and /or friends and see what happens, while the cat is gone?
Hmmm, I am wondering if you want to risk your life by continuing with this man. Something to think about. You have two kids to think about. AIDS is out there and your kids need their parents or at least 1. If he’s done it couple times before what is to stop him from doing it again?
Good for you for giving him a second chance. Now, don’t give him a third. You can’t have a solid marriage without trust and he’s proven that he is not worthy of trusting.