How did you take care of yourself after having your baby?
This is my 3rd baby (a girl). I have a 3 and a 2 year old (both boys). For some strange reason, it seems as though with this baby things are harder. My life seems to be out of control. I feel like I am suffering from postpartum depression. I cry continuously and I am always arguing with my husband. He retaliates and calls me names like dumb, stupid, slut, ugly and unfit to be a mom. He says that he doesn’t know how I am going to teach our daughter how to be a girl when I don’t know how to be a mom or a woman myself. He says these things to hurt me of course…but I am staring to believe all the stuff that he says.
He has been pressuring me to have sex and I know I am not supposed to do anything until after my 6-8 week check up…plus I had a c-section, so I know I am not supposed to even go there. I don’t want to do it, so I keep avoiding him. The bad part about that is that I feel like he is going to cheat if I don’t do it…he is always lying and wanting to leave the house to hang out with his friends. He only acts nice when he wants something or is up to something.
I told my doctor about my post partum depression symptoms. He doesn’t want to put me on meds but rather do things naturally. He has me coming back to him in two weeks. He just told me to get a lot of rest and take care of myself….he sympathizes with me because of all the stress that I am under at home with my husband and because he knows my history (he delivered my other two kids and has had to put me on bed rest twice due to stress and preterm labor).
What can I do to take care of myself better and what did you all do after having your babies?
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Tagged with: 101 Names • babies • Baby Girl • baby things • bed rest • c section • Depression • Having Your Baby • meds • mom • post partum depression • post partum depression symptoms • strange reason • stress • Stupid Slut
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I have a slightly different opinion than the other people. I don’t think you need medication for your "depression", I think you feel like crap because you are overwhelmed with a new baby and your husband is a straight up a–hole! What you need is marriage counceling or leave him. I was with a verbally abusive (as well as other abuse) man and I kept going back to the doctor for my depression. No meds helped. I kept changing medicines and upping doses and adding more meds… All they did was mask the real problem and I didn’t feel any better. What solved my depression? I quit all the meds, packed up the kids, and got the h-ll out of dodge. Yes it was hard but it was worth it 1000000000 times over!!! Don’t allow that piece of cr-p to treat you this way! Throwing pills at this problem will do nothing. You’re depressed because he’s treating you like sh-t, not because of a chemical or hormonal imbalance. Drugs won’t make him stop being a jerk unless he’s the one taking them.
You don’t deserve to be treated this way! It won’t change unless you change it. Get some help fir yourself and your kids’ sakes.
I think the problem is your husband, not the baby. How dare he call you those names, treat you like s**t them demand sex! Concentrate on your kids, they deserve your attention and love far more than your husband.
Take care of yourself and your baby first. Your husband should be more supportive and help out. If you need meds, call your dr sooner and tell him what is going on with your husband. Your husband is being verbally abusive and it is uncalled for. Ask for help from a parent or friend. You have your hands full. I have 2 1/2 month old and 3 year old and it is hard work. It will get better and you will be a great role model for your children.
What do you mean take care of your self better? Your bf or husband is an @ss hole and it has nothing to do with you. Its not your problem its his. Id say get rid of this fool but I know its more easy said than done.
Good luck I hope you figure this problem out soon. And leave him at least scare him and let him know if he doesn’t straighten up he will be out of your life forever!
First, sleep when they sleep! Getting enough sleep and some exercise are excellent ways to combat depression.
Second, let your doctor know how bad you are really feeling. Postpartum depression is really serious and should not be taken lightly. Don’t let your doctor brush off your concerns.
Finally, if your husband is acting like that, you need to get some counseling or help for you. That is emotional abuse and there is no excuse for it. Pressuring you to have sex before it is medically advised is completely out of line. If that is all it will take for him to cheat, then he needs to learn to be a man. Real men support their wives through it all.
It also sounds like you could use some alone time. Is there anyone who can watch your older kids while you get a nap or relax?
PPD is serious stuff. first off if you feel like you are depressed and you cannot get adequate rest and nutrition , etc right now, definately ask about an antidepressant. being chemically depressed is not a shortcoming it’s just a health issue. i took antidepressants before during and after pregnancy i still take them I have too. and even with them its hard.
as far as your husband, it’s bs that he’s saying those things esp right now. my dh puts up with alot of crap but he knows thats its the depression and not me. Your husband needs to understand that even though he may not mean it, it’s like throwing gas on a fire to say those things to a tired, worn out, depressed new mom with older children too. honeslty, if you do not want to have sex, or can’t , then don’t. if he cheats, then that proves that he has issues and your relationship has problems deeper than fighting and sex,
but definately see about some meds. no offense to men, but your dr has never gave birth to a baby. they have no clue of what your body and hormones are going through. you have 3 babies depending on you so if you need meds then get them either from him or another dr.
i had a baby 4 months ago, he was three months early and it has been hell. and im stressed out and me and my husband fight and im exhausted too so i have no clue what to tell you i think its just hard for a while. i and trying to eat decent. im trying to get my 2 fruits 3 veggies a day. i am struggling with thyroid issues, depression, PCOS, everything! i hope things get btter for you. do not believe those things he says, he’s an ass to be calling the mother of his kids those things. you are going through alot right now.
Your hormones are going crazy right now, and those fluctuations are causing your extreme feelings. You need help, and it should come from your husband. But if he is not willing to help you then you need to find help. Your mom, his mom, sisters, cousins, anyone! Get in touch with a church nearby and ask for help. Maybe the constant flow of others in his home will make him uncomfortable enough to make him step up and help. Or he may continue to leave, really right now with his temper and unwillingness to help, it may be better if he is not there. It is impossible to get rest during the day with two toddlers running around and an infant that is depending on you. That is why you need help to come in. Have them play with the boys while you nap with your baby. You cannot take care of your children if you don’t take care of yourself.
I think it is ridiculous to make you wait two more weeks for a doctors appointment. If you are depressed you need to continue asking your doctor for help, until he listens and helps. If you have not needed help for postpartum depression before, he may not be taking you seriously. But every baby is different and your body can react differently too. So keep calling until your doctor will help you.
Realize too that it will take your body longer to mend after a c-section. Because you are not getting adequate rest or help that will only add time to your recuperation. ( Another reason to get help)
As far as sex goes, if you are not ready, your not ready. Married or not if he forces himself on you it is rape. You need to tell him that you are still healing, and sex will come A LOT sooner, with some help from him. He didn’t mind being there when these children were conceived. Now he needs to see the rest of the process through and do his part in helping you and making sure your needs are met and helping with the children and everything else. If he will not listen to you, you need to confide in someone who he respects, and ask them to talk to him.
Good Luck Sweetie!
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