i think my wife is cheating?
a few months ago i caught my wife cheating on me. i found out through a friend from work, i questioned her she said yes but it was only that one time. long story short i ended up in jail for 2 days. i KNOW she is not talking to that guy anymore, but she is still talking to other people online and with text messages, yesterday i looked through her phone i found pictures on her phone from some other guy, nothing bad, it just bothers me you know? i dont know what to do i keep asking and she keeps saying no. when she says no it just does not seem to be the truth it seems empty the same when shr says i love you. i dont know what to do i cant even sleep anymore…
I NEED HELP AND ADVISE. PLEASE HELP ME.. ONLY ANSWERS FROM PEOPLE THAT KNOW WHAT THEY ARE TALKING ABOUT.
just to make sure you dont miss understand I did not beat her i beat his ass
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Tagged with: Caught Cheating • Caught Wife • love • Shr • sleep • Sleep Help • text messages • truth • Wife Cheating
Filed under: Infidelity Warning Signs
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it sounds like shes cheating. leave her & don’t give her a reason. if she doesn’t ask, she doesn’t care or she already knows.
I think your heart is telling you the truth and that is why you are having trouble sleeping.
If she tells you she is not cheating, you have to take her for her word.
If you don’t believe her, then obviously you don’t have any trust in your wife, and really, what’s is the point of having a relationship with someone you cannot trust.
Without getting into a big long synopsis for you, here is the bottom line….once a cheater ALWAYS a cheater. Sorry, to have to put it that plain, but sometimes that is how it has to be said. Sorry Dude
well u no divorce is a big deal if ur going to get divorced then u should really thinjk about. maybe u should go to marrige conciling. im really sorrry that sucks.:] my perants went throught it and it was really hard….. like i said just chose wisly. aigsin sory!
ugh, i’m really sorry.
she is lying to you. your gut instinct is telling you so, and 9/10, gut instinct is correct.
i think you need to sit her down and tell her you KNOW she is cheating and that you are not going to put up with it.
she can stop and you two can work on your marriage OR you two can separate.
good luck to you.
You’re married to a cheater, and they RARELY change. They just don’t understand/value fidelity. The guy on the phone is either her current lover or her future lover.
You clearly don’t want an open marriage, so you better make plans to leave this one ASAP. To stay is just to prolong your torture.
try confronting her, or find out more about the guys you have been seeing on her phone, maybe there just friends, but even if they are just her friends she wouldn’t be hiding them from you. so she could be cheating
If she’s cheating leave her!
It sounds like she is cheating again. I have seen this happen to my brother and my best friend. If you hang in there and try to change her, it will just lead to frustration, unhappiness and possibly more jail. Get out before you get hurt worse.
There isn’t any doubt she’s cheating. There is absolutely no trust in your relationship. She cheated already & sounds like she still is.
The question is, what do you want to do? Can you be with a cheater, or want to be? Personally, once someone cheats, it’s over. No reconciliation.
Well, there is not a whole lot that you can do since you talked to her, but if you truly think she is cheating on you, than she may be, but then again, she may not be. You just have to do what you think is right. Like you said, when she says she loves you, it dont feel like she really means it, if I was you, I wouldnt wanna be with someone who doesnt feel about me the same I felt about them. I really hope this helps!
If you caught your wife cheating on you, then file for a divorce
Well, to be blunt, it does sound like she’s not being completely honest. But, seriously, why are you still there? She’s cheated on you once, you obviously don’t trust her now and never will, so you’re never going to find any sort of peace or happiness with her. If you think she’s doing the dirty on you, don’t hang around wondering whether she is: go, leave, move on! Go and find someone else who you can be happy with and who will love you and be faithful to you!
PS: Don’t do anything stupid that’s going to land you in jail again. Next time it would be for longer than 2 days, seeing as how it’ll be a second offence. Is she worth that?
I am sorry to tell you this, but she is cheating. Your wife shouldn’t have pictures of other men on her phone and really shouldn’t be texting or calling them if she loves you. If you think her "I love you" don’t have any feeling in them, they probably don’t. You know when someone means something. Let her go and find someone who will really love and care about the way they should.
if you cant trust her, you dont really have a relationship.
and if you dont see things looking up in the future, its not really worth trying to fix it. but maybe she really isnt cheating.
but if you’ve forgiven her for the first time she cheated, and i mean whole heartedly forgiven her, then try to believe her. but if you still have some pain from it, she needs to prove it to you that she’s not cheating.
if she isnt cheating, why does she have some other guy’s picture in her phone?
you may just be over-analyzing everything because she now has a history of cheating on you. has she always been the type of person to have other guys’ pictures in her phone?
give it a couple of weeks and if things dont get better, i’d question her about it. not just a casual passing question. like the two of you sit down and have a heart-to-heart
That sounds exactly like what I went through with my husband. I made the mistake of staying with him and I have regretted it ever since. The trust is no longer there and I can not trust anything he says. If I could do it over again…………I would have left him and moved on to my life.
If you have children, you should try to do what’s best for them, even if it means trying to make the marriage work.
If you have no kids………what are you waiting for? Leave her and do what is right for you. You deserve happiness and someone who will treat you right.
Good luck.
I would just remind her that a marriage is between two people, and if she has no intention on keeping it that way, then she needs to quit wasting your time.
If they aren’t dirty pictures, just nice little head shots or something, sounds to me like she’s not just looking for a piece of a$$ somewhere - but possibly another relationship and to skip out on you.
How many times are you going to let her lie to your face before you realize that you deserve better?
If I were you, I’d go stay with a friend or family and tell her you guys go to marital counseling to work on your marriage or it’s over. The best of luck to you
Once a cheater always a cheater is not a true statement, they can change. Your wife doesn’t sound like she’s remorseful for the first affair. If she’s cheating AGAIN, I personally would have to leave her. She apparently doesn’t think anything is wrong with it. I accepted my husband back after cheating but that was on the condition it will never happen again. You deserve better, you need to move on…sorry.
It is very difficult to get trust back when someone cheats. If you are having thoughts that she is still doing it, it is probably correct. If she texts or emails men she is still having emotional affairs which is still wrong. Why is she seeking out other men if she says she loves you. This situation is starting to effect your physical well being. I was in a relationship for 20 years with a man who in the end confessed to having so many affairs he could not count them all. I hate to say it but, you are obviously not happy there, you have no trust with this person, your physical well being is at stake, and she has not quite doing what she said she did. You need to let go and move on.
why would you still be with her when she cheated on you, in my personal opinion you should have left her…if you don’t trust her (and i can understand why you wouldn’t) you really need to go to marriage counseling or talk it out between yourselfs….i am sorry to say this but i think she will cheat again, especially if it was the online stuff that she met this other guy on…i am so sorry
I think its better you keep an eye on her before its to late.
If you think this is not worth it that’s it forget her and carry on with your life .
Life is great dont get stuck with the one that does not give you happiness.
Yes, you need help.
The relationship needs help.
Time to make a go at marriage counseling. Either that or hang it up.
You cannot continue a marriage while you are not able to trust, and she needs to understand how important fidelity is to you, so both of you have issues to work on that may be helped by some counseling.
Also from what you said, you resorted to violence. Some anger management training is in order. You are lucky you still have a wife at this point. There is never an excuse for hitting a woman. Treat that as PROOF #1 of her loyalty to you.
If you are expecting that level of fidelity, I assume you are also practicing it.
Turn the text messaging off on the phone, better yet, turn the phone off.
She’s having issues, tell her the phone goes or you do. Don’t be a doormat. Anyway, good luck with it. The woman has issues.
Once a cheater always a cheater. Trust me I know. She will say anything to keep you around for stability but do you really want to keep being her backup?
You need to sit down and have a long talk. You need to let her know how it is eating at you. Give her the ultimatum - either you or everyone else.
I am not a lawyer or analyst. Personal experience. At 18 in the military I observed how many in my platoon reacted to serious relations problems with their wife, fiance, high school sweetheart. A number were an emotional wreck or worse. I led a sheltered life and had limited dating experience. What I learned was that I was not going to let any woman do to me what I saw some doing to some nice guys around me. I established a believe that if my future wife or fiance wanted someone else other than me, she could find the door and happiness elsewhere. She was like a beautiful bird in the cage of marriage but could fly away. But don’t plan on being a carrier pigeon and make a return flight.
i think you already know the truth so now you need to figure out if you want to work it out or move on if you stay you might keep getting hurt if you chose to work it out it will be a long road to recovery but if you leave you will have peace of mind
i’m not very confident that i will be able to give you a good answer but i’ll try….first…did u ask her why she cheated on you?…if you think her reason is not justifiable then u need not feel sorry about anything….u have the right to feel bothered or jealous of seeing her phone with pics of other guys….because that is not NORMAL….the best way to solve this problem is to talk to her nicely…ask her why she kept on doing such things….ask her if she still loves you…tell her how you feel….if she still does it after talking then i think you might want to consider giving each other space to think things over…if that won’t work then you don’t deserve her….you’re too good for her……goodluck…
I find more often than not if the inside voice and all that is attached to it is telling you something is wrong, it is at least worth listening to and figuring out…Even her one act of cheating was devastating to the trust within you two…When trust breaks down, and a mate has stepped outside the marriage for an affair on any level…Love slips away, not everyone can just whimsically wave it away in their mind…If she insists on furthering the chasm between you two, by increasing the odds of bringing other people into her life, consider takeing your leave…No one deserves to be the only person holding a relationship together…that is exhausting, and if the other person isn’t putting their all into the working on success in marriage, you won’t ever feel a tight bond between you both…and if that is something that is important to you there are plenty of women willing to be in a relationship that gives 100 percent back. I wish you happiness, and a faithful relationship. Sorry your going through this…not fun!!! Take care.
You mentioned Jail. Is it possible that she is only saying no to you to avoid any problems?
I say you should leave her because she may get you in jail again, whether it be her or her boyfriends. You are in a situation where you may get frustrated and say or do something you will later regret. I don’t believe she is being totally upfront with you out of fear, I could be wrong.
Regardless she is bad news for putting you in this situation, I say leave her and find someone that doesn’t make you feel this way. Relationships shouldn’t be this hard.
The pics in her phone show her lack of respect for her marriage, she would not be doing any of it if she were truly content with your relationship. True?
You say that you don’t know what to think, "trust issue", this sounds like your gut feeling, you could be right, I guess you know things to make you feel this way. Don’t avoid the truth or justify it in any way, usually when you feel something is going on, it is because there is.
In saying this, don’t jump to conclusions, you may need to have hard evidence before confronting her again. Do it in a civil manner and just do an about face and leave. No arguing or reasoning is needed. Just leave. You can then call her later or she can contact you to discuss it rationally, take it from there.
Edit: Answering to your added details.
I guarantee she is saying no just to protect this guy. You should leave because she is provoking you into anger, don’t even bother with knowing or talking to the other guy, if she is having an affair, enough said. He can have her.
Im very sorry 4 u. I also have the same problems. if u r not ready to leave her then dont ask anymore it will only hurt u more. Learn to do different things 4 urself. Live 4 ur own happiness and if u have kidz 4 them as well. Stop looking in her phone. Stop feeling bad. You have done nothing wrong. Get sleeping pills and u will fall right to sleep. Enjoy ur life! It works 4 me.
I think your wife and my husband should get together they would definately win the cheating contest
Cheating is something that takes a very long time to get over. It drains you emotionally and till you heal you are usually not the best person to be around. In my situation, a simple song could get me all riled up about my husbands infidelity. I could not watch certain programs on TV. It has been almost a year and things are slightly better but still strained between us. What bothers me about your situations is that she continues to do things that abuse your trust. She should be fitting to get you back constantly. She should be able to listen to your fears or rantings. She is the one that messed up! Why would she have a picture of another man on her phone unless he was a relative? Why does she need to text and chat when you are there for her to speak too? I am not saying she needs to follow you around like a dog and constantly like at your wounds but if she knows that her behavior is bothering you she should be working on making it better. Honestly, neither my husband or I have exclusive opposite sex friends. If we have opposite sex friends it is because we both share them. I would really reflect on whether she is worth your trouble.
I went through something similar in the sense that she cheated.It is better just to let her be and move on.Life is too short to be wasting time and energy on someone that doesn’t wanna be with you.Also nobody is worth spending time in jail for and there is no reason to be violent witth anyone.Did you learn your lesson by spending time in jail?FOOL!!
There is two types of cheating. One is physically and the other is emotionally. She is doing both to you. Talking with people online is emotional cheating.. Somewhere, you have not become the person that she needs to share her thoughts with and she is actively looking for someone to fill that void. Do yourself a favor and move on. You can not live your life wondering about infidelity and what might happen.