My husband cheated on me with a girl who works for him and he BLAMES ME! How can this be my fault?
This has been an absolute nightmare. We move out of state for a new job for my husband in September. By the end of October he has started an affair. I found bits and pieces out over the last few months.. He started texting with a girl from Cuba at work who doesn’t even speak English!! He texted with her so they could use IGOOGLE to translate. He told me all of the texts were from a customer in FLwho couldn’t write English, since she had a Florida phone number. Even going as far as showing me how you translate online! He took her out on dates, stayed the night at a hotel one night claiming it was a work thing. He’s in Management and the were trying to get a new customer. Bought her jewerly, I found the receipt and left work to meet her at her house for lunch. This is the short version. But according to him he wasn’t happy so this is all MY FAULT!! Oh and he never really cheated with her. He never kissed or had sex with her! He thinks I’m STUPID!!!We’ve been married for 11 years and have 3 daughters. I feel like I’m the only person trying to make it work! Though he claims he is making the effort. He works all the time! Management so no overtime! He gets up for work at 3am and drives 45 min to work. and then leaves 5 or later to come home! I wonder all day if he’s with her. And Vendors take him out for lunch and I wonder if thats really true? I don’t know if I can past all of the lieing and cheating. Am I awful? Should I try to make it work for our kids?
My Husband knows I know! I confronted him with all of the evidence. I even found an address in our GPS and drove there to see if she lived there AND SHE DID! I pieced it all together a little at a time. And the hotel room…he claims he met her at the movies and went to the hotel room alone. As for the person who said I had a part in it…I didn’t know anything was wrong till he left movie ticket stubs on our kitchen counter!! Then I started digging and it turns out I’m a pretty good detective. My biggest issue is she still works there. Oh and I said I found out a little at a time. Each time being told it was only texting, then he never took her anywhere, then he wasn’t doing it anymore. Since then he has admitted to everything but touching her in anyway`kiss,sex etc. Then I forgave him in the beginning of December and then in early January I found her address in the car handwritten and in our GPS he admitted to going to her house for lunch since I watched the phone bill.Just as friend
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Tagged with: 11 years • 3am • absolute nightmare • bits and pieces • cuba • detective • florida phone number • Gps • hotel one • hotel room • jewerly • job • lieing • little at a time • lunch • movie ticket stubs • New Job • Overtime • receipt • Speak English • texts • time management • Translate Online
Filed under: Catch A Cheater
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his excuses for cheating are lame and if he were unhappy why didn’t he come to you first and discuss it. he is just trying to point the finger at you because he doesn’t want to take responsibility for this, showing his true character. the only way you are going to get over this is for him to come clean with you and be more transparent and stop lying about his affair and blaming you. I wouldn’t even try to make it work unless he showed some remorse and let you know that he understands what he did hurt you. a woman kind of knows through her intuition that things aren’t right and for him to lie to you it makes it hard to forgive.
After 11 years of marriage I really can’t tell.
But to cheat is disgusting and couldn’t be forgiven.
However, all is not lost if you STILL LOVES your hubby.
Then you should fight for your marriage and make it work.
Ya, sounds like a cheater to me. You should meditate and gather your thoughts, then everything should become clearer.
You want to know the truth because right now he is giving a bunch of stories. Contact http://www.cheaters.com/ to get to the bottom of the story. In the meantime remain cool, calm and collected, just like Tiger Woods wife.
he has to blame someone. he can’t be at fault.
i would leave and take everything with me.
This is a very complicated issue and you could very well have a part to play in this. Pick up "His Needs - Her Needs" (W. Harley) and come to understand the reality of why cheaters cheat.
Also, understand that there is a great likelyhood that this is also a character flaw in your husband which is why "once a cheater - always a cheater." But without you coming to understand the psychology and pathology of his behavior you will never come to understand the entire thing.
He blames you because he does not even understand why he does this. This is the WORK that causes marriage to be so darn hard!
You must realize that your marriage is in trouble and it takes two to put it this way. It is not your fault, but your no longer a happy couple and you must realize that. You seem to be the mother of his 3 daughters, but you do not have an active marriage. Past time to sit down with him and ask where things are going.
hey if you are an awful person he could leave you ,but cheaters are assholes ,they think its always ok because there is some excuse
well there is no excuse at alllllllllllllllllllllllll@!!!!!!!!
I would sit him down and have a talk with him. Let him know that you know whats going on. Have all your evidence handy so that if he denys it, you can show him your proof. Then just let him know that he has 2 options. He can either immediately stop that behavior and cut off all contact with this "other women" and agree to go to marrital counseling with you, or you can call a lawyer and have them write up the divorce papers. And before you have this conversation with him, you need to prepare yourself for the fact that although you want to save your marriage, he may not want to. And if he does pick divorce then you need to follow through with it. You deserve better than a boy who is going to run into another woman’s arms everynight, instead of yours. You deserve a man who will treat you with respect, treasure you as person, and feel honored to be your husband. And your girls deserve to see their mommy being strong and not letting any man take advantage of her. If you continue to stay with your husband, while he continues to cheat on you, what kind of an example is that setting for your girls? The best thing you can do for them is leave him and find a man who will appreciate you for who you are.
On the flip side if he does agree to marrital counseling and to immediately stop his affair then give him a chance. You obviously still love him and want your marriage to work and that is a good thing. If he wants to make it work as well then go for it! Just make sure that you follow through with this as well and set up a weekly session with a marriage counselor. If he cheats again though after saying he would stop then you need to divorce him and not let him take advantage of you any longer.
I truly wish you the best of luck!
Sit down with him and present him with the known facts. Then ask him what is she doing for you that I am not doing? Whay all of a sudden are you so unhappy with me? Do you Want her more that you want me and your daughters? If so all you have to do is say so. I will give you your freedom but you are not going to get off scot free as you will have to support your children and it is going to cost you to get out of the mess you have caused. Now you can eihther straighten up and fly right or it will get messy and I can prove what I am charging you with. I have been staight with you and done nothing wrong. So what is it going to be?
WELL
It’s not your fault, he just doesn’t want to take responsibility for his own actions and wants someone else to blame to justify his cheating. What a pig, it’s bad enough that he cheated but to blame you for it is just sickening.
it is not your fault. he is telling you that so he doesn’t feel guilty for being a cheating a$$… i’m sorry, but if he spent the night with her in a hotel room, then he prolly had sex with her.. my advise, if he is not truly sorry and still blames you, go find someone who will love and respect you enough not to cheat
What else do you want?
To catch them in bed together?
Do the math. Re-read your question.
Of course hes gonna blame you. He got busted, and
will go to great lenghts to protect himself.
How much more are you going to take and forgive is what
you should be asking???
Pit-a-full.