If your spouse cheated before would you believe him if he almost had another affair?
I already know how some will react but please try an be kind with your advice or answer! I’m just wondering how others would feel if this happened to them but then again they say you really don’t know until you’ve been through it.So here’s my story or should I say my deli-ma. My spouse cheated on me 6 or 7 yrs. ago and we got passed that. I forgave him and had learned to trust him again. So, recently i just so happened to see some text messages on his phone, now this was unusual for me to even look in his phone as i was putting it on charge for him cause it was beeping and he was in bed so sometimes i charge it for him if needed and so this night i went to charge it and saw he had messages. so now i read a message from someone and thought maybe a coworker but then i read the MAIN one that said I don’t know when to text you cause I don’t want your wife to see it ! then another message was setting up a day 2 get 2 gether, and he said he would leave work early thursday! wow! The next day he called me about something and I was mad so I said, Don’t worry about me anymore, go on with your own Life! and later he had to know something was wrong cause he called me and said meet him at home, I did and he said he wasn’t going through with it that he had slept on it and couldn’t sleep good and it bothered him and he had already changed his mind and was not going to meet her, Well, i;m thinking is he lien? cause he had to know i knew about the text and thats probaly why he said he changed his mind. and he said he knew i charged his phone so when he called me that day and i was saying don’t worry about me anymore he had to know then that i knew,right! so what else could he say? but why is there a part of me thinking, what if he was telling me the truth and what if he really had changed his mind cause he knew he was wrong? but it gets worse, i found out that the girl he was texting was a girl from 6 to 7 yrs ago who he knew back when he had the affair but I never knew about this girl! He never told me about her, He said he knew her then when we was separated and i had left him over the affair, thing is we did separate but he never once left me alone! he always wanted me back and we were talking still and i was trying to forgive him over the affair and he would always come to my place and visit me and was trying to get me back and i thought we was working it out so later on i came back home to him and he never said anything about anyone else, so shouldn’t he had told me he was seeing that other girl ? if he was being honest and wanting to work things out i think he should of kept no secrets like that! i found out from her that she knew him then and that he would go visit her and became friends with her dad and even gave her money at times! she said she thought he was a good guy and was helping her get through somethings,which she was on a drug and he helped her get off drugs? and stuff she said. So, recently they had seen each other again after 6 yrs or so and started talking again. she had saw him at the store and gave her number to him, that was on a weekend and they had texted for 2 days that weekend and then didn’t text until 12 days later and that’s when i saw those text 12 days later, i never got to read the first text on the weekend i only got to read the last ones so now i wonder what was said in the first text they had but that don’t matter now at least i read the main one about getting 2gether! and it is possible that i stoped it before hand and what if i hadn’t known would he had went through with it? Now most likely I will never know what would of happened or not happened? how can i believe him is what i ask myself because first off he never told me about her years ago when he should have and if he did tell me then we wouldn’t be going through this!! him lien and keepin a secret ,after all he knew everyone i dated or who i talked to i never kept it from him !!! he was always worried about me getting with another guy then and when we talked i told him i was going out to a concert with a guy back then, it just bothers me that he knew ever move i made but has never told me about another girl he was seeing , even if she was a friend he never brought up her name to me!! but believe me she was more then a friend and she told me they had kissed and hugged back then but saids that was all. but he said she did something else for him which was oral ! he said she don’t remember cause she was on drugs! she told me if she did she didn’t remember it! and shes sorry for everything and that he lied to her by sayin we were having problems recently and that’s when she got his number again. well you get the picture! i know this is long o.k. i guess i need to get it out! sorry!
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Tagged with: Coworker • gether • probaly • sleep • telling me the truth • text messages
Filed under: Infidelity Warning Signs
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Well I guess you could stay with him… but if you do you have to accept that he will most likely cheat on you again.
But who wants to accept that?
There are men out there who won’t cheat… you deserve better.. we All do. We all deserve to spend the rest of our lives with someone who loves and respects us. Don’t settle for less. The more time you waste on him the longer it will take you to find someone who is worth it.
Your husband made a mistake and had a good woman by his side who gave him a second chance. Unfortunately he wasted that chance. Not only by what happened now… but at his darkest moment when you had left him and he thought he had lost you… he Still had time to get oral sex from some junkie. "
You don’t need someone like that by your side.
Good luck
once a cheater always a cheater never trust them they are liars
Well first of all if a man cheated on me that would be it from the get go, so giving him a second chance to stab you in the heart again is pretty stupid.
Sounds very susicious. No other female should be texting your husbands phone wanting to meet up with him. If I were you I’d hire a private investigator to spy on him and catch him. I am so sorry this has happened to you. A few years ago I found texts from another woman on my significant others phone, and sure enough he was cheating on me with her. So I know exactly how you feel.
Fall in love with brevity.
My ex-wife cheated after 22 years of marriage. At least, that’s when I learned of it. It could of been more, I’ll never know. I think back and wonder.
Best of all: she’s never ever going to hurt me again. That’s what is important.
You should have him fixed! I know a good vet. Sorry don’t mean to make light of the situation, but laughter is the best medicine. On the serious note, this isn’t baseball (3 strikes and you’re out), you should have dumped him after the 1st fling.
He doesn’t want to be honest, he can’t, he is sick. He’s doing the Tiger Woods on ya.
One thing you can do is find a private investigator… if that is too expensive, get a "lie detector" company to come to the house, and when your husband comes home, tell him he either passes this test, or it’s over, and then go get a lawyer and file. He has been unfaithful, he has broken your vows, he has had relations with another woman and with one on drugs that could have given disease to YOU.
Good Luck….
the person that is lying here is you! you are lying to yourself….. You know deep down the truth about this man and you don’t want to believe it..he cheated on you! he doesn’t love you…no other woman should have your mans number that you don’t know of….you deserve much better…Don’t let this guy take advantage of you and make you looks stupid. If you decide to stay with him just accept the fact that he will be sleeping with other people. You are worth more and don’t deserve to be treated this way..
I don’t know if I got everything, but here goes:
He cheated on you. You forgave him. Then he was about to cheat on you again, but decided against it at the last moment . . .
What would’ve happened if you didn’t discover the message?
Why did she make the comment about not wanting you to know?
Did he change his mind out of fear of being caught?
Not to sound harsh, but you deserve better. He saw what his cheating did to you long ago. Why would he invite this into your marriage again after all the pain it caused you?
You need a reality check.
Never trust.
You are wasting your life. Based on what you have said, I’d say he has continued to cheat since the first time, but because you trusted him again and wanted to believe he’d never do it again, you missed any red flags. I have never, ever known of a man that cheated once that didn’t cheat again.
Ok I only read half of what you put because I already know what I want to say…. He’s never gonna change no matter how much you want him to. Even if he did "almost" cheat and didnt go through with it, it isn’t because he changed his mind because he loves you… its because he almost got caught. If he truely wasn’t gonna go through with cheating on you again then he wouldnt put himself in a situation where it is possible for him to be tempted. Very few people cheat only once and learn their lesson….. yes one time cheaters exist… but he attempted to which mean he is not one of those very few people. I know someone (Well a couple of people) who has been through this…. she was cheated on with three different women and numerous times….. end result… she’s divorced and he’s with the last chick he cheated on her with. Just get out while you can. Don’t wait 28 years like this person did.
I am sorry to hear of your trouble. This is horrible particularly when you forgave and reached a place of trust again. He seems unable to not seek admiration from other women. I have known similar and was faced with the he could not see what he had done scenario. Your husband is at least admitting his behaviour is wrong.
Sadly I do not see him being able to change. You only have his word that he has not gone further with another woman in the last while. If you doubt his word which I think I would then really the end of the road is in sight. You have been more than decent to him and quite frankly he does not deserve someone like you. He will perhaps realise that when he embarks on a series of shallow meaningless relationships which he is poised to do. He probably will whatever you decide. He has a sickness.
if he cheated the first time he’ll cheat again
hai fren,
if im in your situation, i will leave him and find a guy who sincere with me and can trust. don trust him… he play double role and make you stupid. Men like this behaviour,always think that girl are stupid and can cheat easily. then he will do that again, because that is his natural character. trust me. My sister which married a guy have overcome the same problem like you… She trust and love him so much. But, the guy cheat and cheat my sister. She always copmlaining that he have text msg " where can meet”, " how if your wife know this", and etc. he aso always went out on holiday saying that spend time with fren, And if she call him, Phone was switched off. She give up and tolerate with him coz she married ready..Lastly she drunk poisen and admitted in wad. Now she stay with us and forget him ready. She is peace, startly everyone the same, feel very hard to forget the someone very special in our life, but my advice is "Why we want to love the person who dont love us truely and doest care our feeling?" , So let the stupid guy. he will destroy your life. If not now, might be future. how you can have a life with him if you cant trust him. Seriously tell you,coz you are also a girl like me. Take Care… Dont trust him.