My wife is happy with our marriage and is cheating on me. Am I dumb for not stopping her?
I’ve suspected something was going on for a long time, but didn’t say anything to my wife of 4 years, she’s 33 and I’m 31 (we both had plenty of ex’s before we met and dated and lived together for about 3 years beforre we married. She’s very secretive with her cell phone, erases messages, calls made, calls received, etc. She also shuts down her FaceBook and email accounts when I walk into the room.
However, she left her email account open by mistake a few days ago, and I found out for at the least the last year, she’s been "hooking up" with her ex-boyfriend when he comes into town- about once every 2 months it appears. The emails told the truth- she said she was going to tell me, her husband she was going to scrap book with her girlfriends, and would meet him at X hotel at a certain time, etc. The emails were very sexual and flirtatious- especially the ones he sent her. I also saw an attachment my wife sent to him of an erotic picture I took of her when she was posing naked, with all of her body to see.
I feel like a wimp but for not saying anything, but I can tell by her response in bed, between the two of us, his and her emails to each other, that he makes her happy when they "hook up". She takes great care of herself, physically, shops for nice clothes and lingerie, etc.
I’ve checked out his FaceBook account, and also asked my wife about him. He has 2 kids, in a good marriage with a beautiful wife himself, and has a good job on the west coast. I don’t see him moving back to the midwest to "steal" my wife away.
We’ve been married for 4 years, dated for almost 3, and our communication and sex life are great- still. We’ve been talking of having our first child.
I know it may sound perverted, but as long as my wife is happy with her life, happy with our marriage, and still loves me with all of her heart, I’m not letting it bother me that I found out that she steps out on me to see her ex, or even if she still has feelings for her ex (he broke up with her when he moved out of town for a job- they dated seriously for about 2 years).
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Tagged with: 3 years • cell phone • cheating • Clothes • email accounts • Facebook • feelings • few days • girlfriends • good job • Happy Marriage • heart • lingerie • long time • marriage • midwest • mistake • Scrap Book • sex life • truth • west coast • wimp • x hotel
Filed under: Catch A Cheater
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Part of me strongly believes that cheating is wrong, wrong, wrong.
However, the other part of me believes that as long as adults consent, what they do is their business. An "open marriage" would never work for me and it’s hard not to judge others who try it, but others do it and still lead mostly normal lives.
If you’re going to allow this, you met set "rules" for yourself, boundaries that she cannot cross or you will call her out on the cheating. You must be firm with those boundaries. It will come out sooner or later that you’ve known about her cheating all along, and that WILL change the dynamic of your relationship. You just need to decide how much you’re willing to tolerate, before you feel that your marriage is in jeopardy.
your not dumb for not stopping her your dumb for still being with her
.To each their own…if she were truly happy with her marriage, she wouldn’t be screwing some other guy.
Kick her to the curb. she obviously isn’t happy, and just wont tell you. if she was happy she wouldn’t be making u miserable, or cheating. tell her how u feel, and say goodbye for good
Is this the one you let her go on vacation with?
And what happened to the 2-year-old child you ALREADY HAVE??
xoxoxo
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Atw_KaUbvrMe0jVPlGgDKSvty6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20100203110622AAOY1Fv&show=7#profile-info-lx7X0EO2aa
can you give details of her facebook account please?..I will make sure that you are really happy dumb.ass
well its a little unconventional, but some people have open marriages and they are perfectly happy with that. I guess it’s to each his own, but usually its not 1 sided its both sides can have people on the side. I betcha, she would never agree to that, so then its selfish and 1 sided.
Why on earth are you putting up with this horrible situation, she will not stop there if it’s not the one she is with now it will be someone else. You are worth more than that……and you should respect yourself as your wife has no respect for you. Get rid of her, she is making a fool of you. Please don’t think i don’t know what i am talking about, i was married to a serial cheater but he was clever and i could never catch him, but eventually i did. And after 25 years married i got rid of him.
I think you’re fooling yourself. She’s stepping out because she needs more. If you want to continue it that’s your choice, but don’t bring a child into the picture because eventually it’s going to end.
I think you should consult a professional.
Why aren’t you jealous? This is Not normal. You should confront her, and remind her of the vows she made to you.
This sounds like you’re giving her an open marriage, but an open marriage isn’t a real marriage to me.
You don’t have to live like this. What happens when she tires of her ex, and sleep around with the STD man.
There are one-man women out there, if that’s the LIFE you really want.
you have 2 choices!
insist it stops
or turn it into a party for all!
good luck!
Dude, she doesn’t love you. She’s using you. She’s only happy with the marriage because she gets a thrill out of making a fool of you. That she hides everything from you should be an indication that she’d doing something she shouldn’t be.
That said, I don’t think you love her either. This should be tearing you up inside, making you angry, or at least sad. All I can see in your post is indifference. Find a way to get toy your wife’s emails, print them out, mail one copy to loverboy’s wife and the other to your divorce attorney.
I would show her the door….
If you need to look up an phone numbers on her cell phone bill, http://www.NonPublished.com
If you need to know where he cell phone is http://www.PingCellPhone.com
You are a wimp !!! And your wife couldn’t be to happy if she is stepping out on you.And your commutation skills suck or the 2 of you wouldn’t be in the situation now.And please do not bring any kids into this mess that could be the best thing you could do.You need to kick her to the curb and move on stop being a wimp..
i wouldnt call u dumb, just someone who’s in love and doesnt want to loose someone hes in love with. i know what love can do to u. sad tho. not sure if i would be able to do the same. hope things work out for u, and dont get out of control. just dont let urself get walked all over.
The point of marriage is to be with just one person. If she doesn’t want to be with just one person what is the point of marriage. and if she loved you with all her heart she would not be with someone else.
go find a nice women who care about you.
How is she happy with your marriage if she seeking someone else to be fulfilled? I’m sorry but that isn’t a happy marriage, it’s one built on lies. And if it doesn’t bother you, why post it on here for everyone to have an opinion on it? You asked if your dumb for not stopping it. Well I believe that cheating is wrong in any relationship, so yeah you are a little dumb but that’s my opinion.