Cheating spouse wife?
You work overseas and your spouse had cheated on you last year but you decide to stay with them they are the one that told you that they had cheated on you and they said that they will not do that again because it was not worth of it at all. You end up accusing them of cheating again and again but they are telling you that they are not so they get tired of it and tell you that you will be the one that cause this marriage to get a divorce but you don’t want that at all. You end up cheating but you only had sex once with this person and that was it but then in the back of your mind you are still thinking that your spouse is still cheating but you don’t want to ask because it might cause a divorce and I don’t want that at all. When I went home I only had sex with my wife once and that was it because it would not stay hard for nothing and I ask her the other day how was Ms. Kitty and she said that she was fine and has she been playing with it and she said no so when I get home in October it should be tight, but I need to get her cheating out of my mind and this is the first time she has ever cheated on me. One thing I have notice was when I talk to her on the phone she will be the first one to say I love you and if she don’t hear me say it then she will say it again and I tell her and that is everytime when I am on the phone with her. When I text her she always say I love you daddy so I don’t know what to think or say and if somebody could help with this I would appericate it. No negative comments please.
I even ask her if she was happy and she said yes with her marriage and that was last week when I ask that
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Tagged with: cheating spouse • cheating wife • divorce • marriage • ms kitty • negative comments • sex with my wife
Filed under: Infidelity Warning Signs
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In marriage our spouses are going to make mistakes and hurt us. She cheated and she confessed. You have to learn to forgive her. Because if you cant you cannot have a marriage. There comes a point where you can no longer accuse her or be driving yourself crazy thinking she may be up to something. She has had to forgive herself at some point and now you have to do the same. She cannot be with someone who will not give her trust and refuse forgiveness. It sounds like there is more to it than just that. Maybe you should seek counseling. If not figure out do i want to be with this woman or not. If you do forgive her and move on. If you don’t want to be with her than let her go. You will destroy your marriage if you cant forgive her. Trust me whats done is done now its time to move on. No partner you will ever have in life will be perfect. Do you love her? Than treat her like you do.
Hate to say it, but this looks bad to me. You both might benefit from couples counseling. Good luck!
Your just too paranoid. Besides you’ve cheated on her now so your even. Are you going to tell her you did? Cause that makes her one up on you since she did tell you.
does she know u cheated??? my partner of 6 years cheated on me -actually had an affair-and i stayed with him and honestly i think about it everyday. if he leaves the house i have high anxiety that he is cheating again. ur mind will play around with your emotions like that but u have to follow ur heart. if she told u she cheated once she would tell u again im sure especially seeing as she mentioned the divorce. she obviously wants to be with u seeing as she hasnt got the divorce yet. good luck-its hard but if u really love eachother it will all work out!
Usually cheaters are so kind so you cannot caught them. Cheaters when given a chance always cheats.
I have been in your shoes before. Most people say once a cheater always a cheater I strongly disagree with that. Maybe your wife was lonely ‘it happens’ and she just wanted someone to feel close to while you were gone. You cannot be happy until you let go of the idea of it happening again. If you really can’t shake the idea then my suggestion is surprise her. When you think she may be up to something have someone go over and check up on her; or trace her phone records. The way I busted the person I was with was showing up unexpected and checking his voice mail.
Simply stating "I love you" doesn’t mean anything. I said that word a whole lot and didn’t care about the meaning.
Well I tell you like this you decided to stay so you have to accept the fact that she did cheat and when you decided to stay you should have forgiven her and moved on but thats easily said than done but if you decided to make things work you need to get over it or it will destroy your marriage my husband and I both have cheated on each other and we tried to make things work and forgive and forget but every time I looked around he was throwing it in my face so it made me do the same until oneday I just got tried of him making me think of the past I packed his bags and threw him out.
Good luck with your screwed up life.
The problem between both of you is that the trust is gone, try solving your problems by rebuilding the trust and other things will fall into place.
Good luck
Wow! I know you don’t want negative comments but quite frankly anything you don’t want to hear is going to seem negative to you. That’s how that whole thing works….people always try to fight realistic by calling it negative so I will try my hardest to be caring when I say….
You both have cheated on each other so there is something wrong with the relationship. You putting the "but it was only once" doesn’t change the fact that you cheated. It doesn’t matter how many people or times you cheated but the fact that you cheated is the issue. Of course I couldn’t excuse her cheating either. Nor do I blame you for being all up in her sh!t about cheating in the first place and possibly doing it again.
The thing is that guilt is what makes people act as if things are ok when they are cheating. They don’t really want to hurt the other person but their needs aren’t being met so they do something they shouldn’t, feel guilty and do whatever they can to salvage the relationship all the while thinking that it’s salvageable. It’s not. Someone cheats and the other person always worries that it will happen again so the trust is gone. Trust is important in marriage. Without trust we can’t be vulnerable to each other so there is no closeness. Without closeness there is nothing.
Sadly, I would say your marriage is gone. You can’t trust her and you have cheated yourself so you feel a little guilt but excuse it, so there is no honesty and openess. Sure you could continue this but you are wasting your time and hers on something that will never be fullfilling for either of you. It’s very sad but it is what it is. There is no reason sticking around to torture each other because even if you both didn’t cheat you would always wonder and once she finds out she would always wonder. You could even vow never to do it again but it wouldn’t take away the fact that you did it already…..that goes for the both of you.
I wish you both the best and maybe you will prove these ideals wrong but it’s not likely.
Everything happens for a reason and sometimes that reason is the hardest thing to accept yet it’s the best thing for you.
Take care.
First of all if you haven’t told her you cheated, DONT. All that does is make the cheater feel better and the partner feel worse. It also puts the blame on the one being cheated on as you have proven. Every time you accuse her of cheating, you are giving her a reason to hate you. Her conscience is clear. She’s confessed. Now only you can ruin your marriage. Okay so that’s not true, but that is how she will see it. But if you do keep accusing her and she isn’t cheating than you may end up pushing her into cheating. Again not your fault, but she will blame you for making her cheat. Don’t give her that satisfaction. Tell her that you can’t get past the image of the two of them together and it still really hurts. Tell her you want to trust her and to believe everything she says to you, but it will take time. Tell her that if she loves you than she needs to be supportive of your healing. This will put you back in the good seat. Then if she cheats again, she won’t be able to let herself off the hook. Tell her you love her, but only if you mean it. If you can’t have sex with her, than fine. Buy her a toy. Maybe you can use the toy on her when you are having trouble with your own organ. But if you just don’t want to have sex at all, let her play with her toy. Tell her you hope it can bring her contintment when you’re not available.
So you want to stop worrying that she’s cheating on you…the cheating that you did to her and she did to you was simply because you two are separated so much and really don’t work hard at being in love when together. It’s hard to be separated…so the first thing is why not give up thisoverseas job and return to your wife to be with the woman you love and married? You won’t worry about her cheating as much if you are home and not a thousand miles away or more. Second you can’t blame yourself for worrying because she gave you good reason to worry and she should expect more rigidity from you on this matter. Cheaters think of forgiveness as like God forgiving us of our sins but think of it like a bankruptcy. .. you forgave the debt to repay you for the pain it caused but that doesn’t mean there are new restrictions and measures taken as a result of the misguided behavior.
Chances are you cheated on her because you were vulnerable and weak from her news. Typical and sad but it happens. So you both have a lot of work to do. But I do wonder, why do you worry she cheats on you? I mean instead of worrying just focus on showing and being her husband and being there for her and you won’t worry.