Extramarital Affairs and Pre Marital Sex?
I have read many questions about extramarital affairs. Most of the time people say that having an affair (cheating) is wrong.
When questions are asked about being single or dating people usually recommend having sex outside of marriage.
My question is why is it wrong to have an affair but it’s okay to be single and have sex with different partners? I’d like to hear different viewpoints and opinions.
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You ask a good complicated question. I applaud you for an adult question. In my opinion, sex is a by product of an affair. An affair usually means something is wrong in the marriage. It could the sex, lack of communication or expectations unfulfilled. I also think most people don’t discuss infidelity before marriage. It is assume that if you are married, you just don’t have sex with someone else. However, if you look at the pattern of behavior for some people before they were married they had several partners at one time. Not all couples but some. Marriage is supposed to magically change that behavior because of verbal commitment and taken vows. I think these people become swingers. Based on the divorce rate, it makes you wonder if all couples are required to read the vows they take.
The single life is a whole other ball game. You could be single and free to sex anyone you want. You could be single and going steady but not committed and think you can sex anyone you want. You could be single and committed and assume as a couple you will only sex each other. But there are no written laws that tell you what can or should do during temporary break ups. There are no laws that cover going together behavior. Finally, there are no laws covering single people and sexual behavior.
I think your question is a moral one. If a couple articulates what expected in a marriage or going steady, then they vowed to each other what will and will not be tolerated. Single life has too many open ended equations to try to apply to everybody walking this earth. It is a matter of choice and how you view life and yourself.
Good question.
Because in a marriage, you’ve made a commitment.
There is no commitment to break if you’re single..
By having an affair while you are married/in a committed relationship you are saying that you do not value your partner enough to stay 100% committed to that person. When you are single, you don’t have the concern of hurting someone because you are not committed to a single person and can do what you want.
If you are single then you have not made any comittments to anyone else.
Because an affair involves lying and deciet. Single people can see whoever they like.
That’s easy….not everyone is religious.
You are presenting two different issues. Infidelity–whether you are married or dating–is still betraying your partner. You cant compare cheating with two available people hooking up.
Sex before marriage, as long as you are having sex with your partner or another SINGLE person, is not cheating.
This is called broad logic.
Its only cool if they say its cool.
When a person is having an affair the are breaking vows and promises, destroying lives and creating situations that will have life long impacts. Sex with different partners is fine as long as both are consenting. I can’t believe you would even have to ask this question.
holy cow had both at the same time had the "affair" then married the woman later on
If we descended from apes we might take a lesson from them…..
The Bonobo Monkeys are very possibly the culmination of anyone who believes in reincarnation’s hopes and dreams. Sex for a Bonobo is not unlike a smile for a human. Or a handshake, a wink or clearing your throat. Sex is used as a greeting, as a method of conflict resolution and to celebrate when food has been found.
They are the only species that’s been observed having sex face to face besides humans, as well as enjoying a little bit of French kissing and oral sex. They also engage in the occasional same-sex wank job and lesbian adventure–even incest. If sex can’t fix it, these monkeys don’t want to hear about it.
Would the world be a happier place if we lived that way? But really your question isnt about sex…its about breaking vows and being decietful. Its one person making a choice that affects the other partner and possibly kids. Sounds pretty one way huh? When your single its all about you. When your married, its a package deal.
Marriage involves promises, vows between two people. So, going outside of this agreement is a betrayal of those promises and a breach of trust.
Views on sex outside of marriage are a matter of morals, religious belief, etc. So, the majority of those who have religious beliefs about sexual boundaries within marriage have laws that are the same for single or married. Sex belongs between the married partners. The Bible is just as strong about sexual purity (fornication) in single people as it is about adultery outside the marriage. This is true for many religions.
Putting all the religious views out of this, then it comes down to the promises between two people who have committed to a life together.
Even "Open" marriages still seem to have agreements between the spouses about what is and is not accepted behavior. What is considered betrayal is between the couple.
When someone is single, then it is their own choice and they are not betraying vows made to another who trusts them. What they do is between them and their own belief system, not dragging another person into the mess.
No one is forced to be married or make promises to another. Asking another to give you their heart and ask them to trust you with their life.
It is a horrible emotional trauma for most who find out that their spouse has betrayed that trust. It’s not fair to the spouse or even the other person in this triangle.
So, if marriage between a couple includes the agreement exclude outside partners, then it is a betrayal to cheat. If someone will not honor their commitment, then they should stay single. Keep their lifestyle choice their own. Not living a secret second life and hurting others.