Why is snooping into your spouse/partner’s email frowned upon?
I see several posts on here where people catch their spouse/partner cheating or trying to cheat by checking their spouse/partner’s email behind their back and stumbling upon the evidence. With all of the liars and cheaters out there, why is it that we’re expected to blindly trust our spouse/partner? I could not care less if my husband read all of my emails every day because I have absolutely nothing to hide, and he might actually get to know me better if he read my correspondences.
So why is snooping into your spouse/partner’s email frowned upon?
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Tagged with: cheaters • correspondences • email • liars • liars and cheaters • partner • Spouse Cheating
Filed under: Catch A Cheater
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On the day we said "I Do" everything became BOTH of OURS.
Usually, when someone is clamoring for "privacy" it is because there is something they are doing that they shouldn’t be.
The only "Privacy" in a marriage is supposed to be bathroom privacy.
My husband and I both have access to everything. Why shouldn’t we?
ADD_ I totally agree with Big J..I "trusted" too……until one day……….all is fair in love and war……
It’s rude and an invasion of privacy. And it indicates lack of trust.
snooping is frowned upon. doesn’t matter what you’re snooping in - it’s still not right. it’s an invasion of privacy and untrustworthy. if you feel you must snoop then you should reconsider your position and remove yourself from the situation.
Because it is tantamount to saying to your spouse "I DON’T trust you," in which case why are you married? Sure there are liars & cheaters in the world but so are there child molestors, thiefs, manipulators rapists etc. Are you going to go around believing the worst of your spouse and everyone around you due to distrust? What a sad way to live.
Snooping for snooping sake is showing a lack of trust. I didn’t start snooping until I felt something was horribly wrong in our relationship, turns out she was cheating. But I never went through her stuff or snooped before that because I trusted her. It is a double edge sword kind of deal.
On the other hand, sometimes it seemed like she would go through my stuff, check my internet history and crap like that constantly and then when we had an argument, she would bring up I did this or that so she would "win" the argument. That is another reason snooping isn’t cool.
hmmm lets see its just common respect and privacy to not be a nosy person…….how would u feel if some one did such a thing to u…..we as human beings have the right to be private and i think that its a trust factor…………u married the guy or gal for a reason u obviously trusted them on ya wedding day so y dont ya trust em now?
It is frowned upon because you should have trust for you spouse. Also, couples should have their separate lives and be apart not glued to each other. I have friends and hobbies that don’t involve my husband. It’s only healthy.
Because you should trust your spouse 100%. If you don’t have a 100% trust in your spouse; you should not be married because you have a 0% relationship. Now don’t get me wrong; I have walked passed my BF laptop many of times with his email open for everyone to see; but I just don’t do it. I trust & love him very much!
It’s an invasion of privacy. You might hear about the ones where they caught their spouse but I am sure you are not hearing about the ones where they aren’t caught - because they’ve done nothing wrong. I don’t think MOST people cheat which is the consensus here. And if you walk into a relationship distrusting the person, you never will trust them because you haven’t given them the opportunity even to earn it since you’re snooping around trying to find out what they are doing behind your back. Sad part about this is, even when you find nothing, you make a big deal out of it. Because you want to be right and you want them to be scum.
I don’t care if my husband reads my emails, I’ll show him if he ever asks. But if he were to snoop then he’s making a huge statement about who he thinks I am, which is a lying cheat who needs to be spied upon. Which is beyond an insult to anyone.
Let me explain it this way. I’ll come over to where you live and go through all your drawers looking for anything and everything. If you have so little trust in the person you are with, rather than snoop, just get out of the relationship.
it makes a person feel like they can’t be trusted, which is a terrible feeling. If a relationship is so unstable that they need to check each others’ emails to prove they’re not cheating, then clearly that is a relationship that needs help.
And to do it just to check is a violation of someone’s privacy- their personal buisiness.
But i’m a bit with you on this one, what they don’t know won’t hurt them, but it’s insulting to tell someone you read they’re email for the above reasons.
Then again, i’m not married, i don’t know what marriage is like.
I haven’t done anything wrong but my partner comes on here and reads through all my yahooanswers questions/answers. (You know even if your profile is private if you google your screenname lots of stuff comes up? Well, my partner does.) He sneaks a look at my text messages every chance he gets. He probably hacks into my email too, but I’m not sure.
I find it annoying and I think he’s wasting his time. But hell, if I loved somebody I’d check their stuff too.
Because there’s no trust.
Reading things i don’t think it is the problem. If you have to go ’snooping’ behind there back there is something wrong already. Why not just ask them outright?? You can judge by their response if they have something to hide or not.
Everyone is entitled to there own privacy married or not. What gives anyone the right to snoop through your things. I have nothing to hide, but if i’m having a private conversation with my sisters, and he’s reading it he is crossing the line. They confide in me to keep there secrets, but I can’t when my nosy ass husband is all in my business.
Stop snooping or you’ll find something you don’t want to find.
Because it’s none of your damn business.Get a life.
Some people are actually grown up and mature enough to act responsibly when no one is looking, and they may very well value their own privacy as well as the privacy of other people. There’s nothing wrong with that. If you’re cheating or snooping, you are guilty of not being a trust-worthy person. Perhaps cheating can be considered worse than snooping, but in my eyes both acts are betrayals of trust and intolerable.
it’s an invasion of privacy but if these people had nothing to hide they wouldn’t get upset about it
Like everyone else said it’s all about TRUST. If your marriage doesn’t have trust you have nothing. No one said you have to be blind though. I am sure there’s other ways that all those liars and cheaters give themselves away. But, everyone is entitled to some privacy even from a spouse. You couldn’t care less about him reading your emails because you have nothing to hide.. Which is good, but you have to trust him to be the same way. I had a BF that always was jealous when I even spoke to another guy, found out why.. Because he was cheating on me and he thought that if I was talking to anyone else I must be cheating on him too. He didn’t trust me but he was the one that was not trust worthy. Once a liar and cheater always a lair and cheater.. If you don’t trust him why bother getting married to him ?
I agree with Valerie X, people who scream for privacy are the ones who have something to hide. When you tie the knot, yours becomes ours. I agree with you.
I’m probably going to be the only person who agrees with you and most likely will get 100 thumbs down but it’s my opinion and that’s what this place is for. I don’t look at is as "snooping" first of all because when I look thru my fiance’s phone or emails I don’t hide it from him I’m usually doing it when he’s right there he’ll say what are you lookin at I’ll say I’m just going thru your phone to see who you talk to and he’s like oh okay because neither of us have anything to hide from the other. I wouldn’t care if he did the same to me. It’s not that I don’t trust him it’s that I’m curious who he talks to because he doesn’t tell me everyone who has ever called him. I’ll ask whose this or whose that and he’ll tell me. It’s no big deal. In my case it’s curiosity not distrust and I’m not looking to ‘catch’ him in anything I just want to see who he talked to. Everyone who says snooping is wrong has something to hide and I don’t care who you are. it’s being open with your partner. There should be no secrets in a relationship with anything. He should have all your passwords/pin numbers for everything if he asks because not giving him those also signifies a lack of trust or that you’re hiding something. So I don’t think "snooping" is wrong when it is your partner because there’s nothing to hide from them. Now if it’s someone else who you don’t know then obviously that’s a lack of privacy. But when you get married or are in a serious relationship there is really no yours and mine it’s ours together and that goes for everything.
Hallelujah!
I feel the same way as you do girl, and why it’s a major problem IDK. But I love to read the responses from this question.
My boyfriend says It’s his and he should not have to worry about his GF snooping through his things. I gave up on it though, just causes a whole bunch of confusion and what not.
TRUST is the key. Without it you have no relationship.
Because he’s a big boy and I don’t need to keep tabs on his every little interaction. The fact that you already think he is going to break your trust and that snooping is the only way to "catch" him tells me you are insecure and do NOT trust him. Which is not healthy.
I know who my partner is, I know what sort of person he is and I know what he is capable of. I don’t need to snoop BECAUSE I trust him. It’s not blind trust either. I trust my own instincts and I trust what I know of him as a person. And I also know if I ever asked for his passwords for whatever reason, he would hand them over, as I would to him.
And I was also raised to respect others privacy. If I left my diary open on my bed, I know my mother would have never snooped. It’s teh principle of the matter and I am glad I can handle the not knowing.
In reality if you have to check their emails, phone logs, or go through pockets you clearly don’t trust your partner. I have all my wives passwords and I would never look. It shows your partner you have little or no trust in them to read their personal emails. Might I add you are only getting half the story if you get that. As for going through my wives phone log I would never. That is a clear sign of no trust if you have to go through every person they called and ask about it. What you fail to understand is there is a delete button on all phones, email, etc. If they have something to hide they will hide it or just delete it. The better question some of you woman should ask yourselves is why you don’t trust your partner, that you have to go through emails and phones? Trust me if its something they don’t want you to see they will just delete it. Use your brain.