You cheated on your spouse; do you tell?
You’ve cheated on your spouse. Do you clear your conscience by telling him/her about your indiscretion and why tell if not caught?
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Tagged with: conscience • indiscretion
Filed under: Catch A Cheater
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Hell, no. I’d get tested for STD, and if I was clear, I’d count myself lucky and NEVER pull a stunt like that again. Telling your spouse is extremely selfish — it’s all about you, and making *yourself* feel better and less guilty. What you’re really doing is transferring all the hurt and guilt to your spouse. That’s adding insult to injury.
If he found out about it later and confronted me, then I would certainly not lie about it. But hopefully, by that time, my actions would have been such that he would be able to believe my regret.
sure tell her if you want her to leave you….
don’t tell her if you like your family and want to continue with them…
lots of folks go thruough this… don’t make it a bigger deal than it is… and try not to do it again.
Only tell if you want to rip heart out of chest cavity. Confess to a priest if you have to and straighten up. Confessing to the spouse is like doing it in front of spouse.
Do not tell. You know it was a mistake, learn from it and DONT do it again. If you tell, your problems are just beginning.
dont tell just dont do it again
Because you owe them accountability. That was one of those things you promised on that big day when you got married.
Turn the tables. How would you feel if your spouse was cheating on you? Would you want to know? Would it hurt you more if they told you right away rather than if they lived for years with this secret?
Do you even value your marriage? If you were truly commited to your spouse, you would be honest and admit that you two should go to marriage counsilling to work on your marriage. You can’t expect your spouse to devote all of him/herself to the marriage while you’re off cheating. That’s not marriage.
If your spouse decides to leave, then let them leave. Then you can sleep with whoever you want and not feel any guilt whatsoever.
I would tell. I can’t handle lies!
No! Do not tell your spouse. Why would you want to hurt them in that way? Just to clear your conscience? That is selfish in my opinion. If you cheated then you live with the guilt of what you did. Why destroy your family over a mistake. Just learn from it and make it up to your family by being the best husband/wife/mother/father you can possibly be.
It’s a risk you have to take - but it’s better than him/her finding out from some other source.
You may lose the love of your life in the process, or he/she may stay and try to forgive you: of course, even that isn’t garunteed. Apparently, forgiveness is hard to come by.
If you confess and your spouse stays be aware that you will have to relive your mistakes over and over until your spouse is able to forgive - that could takes years….
But if you cheated it’s really only fair to let your spouse decide what to do next. I mean, afterall, cheating on your spouse does involve your spouse in a roundabout sort of way.
I say tell your spouse, but be prepared to face the consequences… I am going through something like this right now and it isn’t easy. But I don’t ever regret my confession: as it turns out, had I not confessed, he’d have found out anyway, and better from me than the other people he heard talking.
Good luck. Karma comes around… and it does so with a vengence. You just have to suck it up and do the best you can to become a better person, with or without the one you’ve betrayed.
You need to confess. It’s not fair to your spouse to keep this information from him or her. You’ve already endangered their lives by possibly bringing a disease home to them, so the least you could do is confess so they can decide if they want to stay with a rat like you or leave your cheating @ss.
Yes, you should tell him/her. By not being honest, then you don’t respect your partner. If you really love your significant other, then you should tell the truth. I think you will feel guilty if you did get caught. I think he/she would be more devistated if you weren’t honest with them in the beginning.