Do you give a cheating spouse a second chance, after a 6 month affair?
I have been with my husband for 25 years. I moved in with my brother becauce of his accussing me of having affairs. I have attributed this to his mothers infedility. I have wondered if he was but since I had no proof I didn’t even bring it up. So I told him he had to show me what I meant to him and he did this by seeing another woman and I found out he denied it every time I caught him with her. He told me I was a F’n Bi–h and this other was so much better. We have three kids and he even stood up the children to be with her. My youngest waited up until 3am begging me to call him. Later found out that he spent two days in a motel with her instead of taking the kids and I fishing and camping. Would any of you give this person another chance?
Tagged with: 3am • accussing • brother • Camping • cheating spouse • fishing • proof • second chance • three kids
Filed under: Infidelity Warning Signs
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Divorce is a terrible thing to have to face, but I agree with those who say that your spouse’s commitment to a relatively long-term relationship with someone else is a pretty clear sign of his lack of commitment to you. That being said, there are many other variables that you probably haven’t shared with us that should become a part of your calculus in making this difficult, very personal decision.
NO YOU DONT MAYBE HE\SHE MIGHT CHEAT ON YOU AGAIN
No, a one time fling… maybe. But a 6 month affair, that wasn’t just sex, that was a relationship.
nope
It really depends on if you feel like you can forgive. There is always conseling and other options to try before just chucking the marriage. If you feel that you will never be able to have any trust and that things cannot get better then leaving may be a consideration
No, I would say not to. Remember, affairs, even flings, do not "just happen." The cheater has a decision to make, and they choose to cheat.
No, you don’t! Not unless you don’t mind getting hurt again!
No way, no how! If they did it to you once, chances are they’ll do it again. Drop them like a hot potato & move on with your life.
Generally, and sadly, anymore, no. Most people would "give-up" on the marriage (as if this was in the contract [read - "for better or worse", good times/bad, etcetera, etcetera - "'till DEATH do you part"]!). Most people are quitters these days (with the exception of some people and their bad habits). This is mostly because of their ego’s and the lack of patience (which, if anyone remembers, is a V-I-R-T-U-E!!!) in todays fast (TOO fast) and "instant" world. People have become too used to instant gratification – instant EVERYTHING!
Remember, you picked this person from all the people you had met up until that point in your life – chances are, you would pick another person very similar to your current (yes people, I said CURRENT) spouse. Another point to consider is, what’s better (or worse), the devil you know … or the devil you don’t know? The real question I have is – did the spouse break it off and come to you about it or was this spouse "caught"???! If caught – I "might consider" breaking it off (or, more likely – have a trial cooling-off/seperation period) myself – and that is difficult for me to imagine, as I take "V-O-W-S" (!) very seriously.
No. There isn’t much chance of a marriage lasting after this. It would be better to find another spouse/boyfriend that went through the same thing you did. You’ll at least know that they are loyal.
No way and don’t forgive them because if you let them get away with it once, they will always cheat on you.
Well you made a commitment before God, its going to happen again, and again, and….do you think you can trust him?
From someone who has been through this before i can say that the best thing is not always to give up on the relationship. i know that there are those that say that once they cheat they will never stop but i’ve found that there are several different circumstances that come in to play before you can make your final decision. Such as: your willingness to forgive, how sorry the other party is, whether there are kids invovled as then you are not the only one affected by your decision, and also financial issues. Personally we have gone on to be truly happy and have not had another episode since. I have heard of many couples who have done the same. Alot of times the gulity party does not truly realize the affect on the other person. ( I know that sounds crazy) When they truly realize what they’ve done either they will make a complete 180 and make sure you know that they are doing right or they will be the ones that will show you quickly that they don’t care. Although I have been truly blessed in that I got the complete 180 and have had it ever since, it’s still a long road to healing either way. Everyone always says that they would dump them right away, but I’m glad i stuck through it.
That’s totally up to you and what you want to do I think you two should have a serious chat and tell him that if he does it agian that you leave him and be serious one thing you women have to learn is to STAND BY YOUR WORD or he’ll walk all over you
NOOOOOOOO!!!
Once they cheat they will do it again…YOU deserve more than that!!..don´t you think??
Do you feel that you can honestly trust this person ever again? This will always be in the back of your mind, it is not something that can be changed. I beleive that if your spouse really loved and cared about you and was happy, he/she wouldn’t have the need to cheat. But they do say, "Once a cheater, always a cheater."
Definately not.
it depends on a lot of things…. such as age, what was going on to make that person have a affair and most of all how you feel about that person, all you can really do is ask ?s and be honest with the answers and think real hard b4 making any decisions.