How is it that we find "Don't tell her/him" to be good advice?

I have read to many answers to an individual cheating on their significant other "Don’t tell her/him". That it is better to keep it a secret so they don’t have to suffer. Its not a lie if you just don’t tell the truth. The truth is its a lie and one of the worst kinds.

What I want to know is why would you give that advice and how would you feel if your spouse took that advice and years later you found out they had cheated on you? Would you still think its good advice?
I have seen this kind of situation play at hundreds of different ways. Yes by the time the truth comes out the pain may be little but it could blow up in your face. I am the kind of person who would try to work it out if it were a one time thing and my significant other came clean. If I found it out 20 years later I would probably feel as my whole relationship is a lie and my partner does not value me and my feelings.
As for ruining a relationship over guilt years later. Its sad that it ends up that way and that you felt that way but if the guilt built up and made her tell you then she should have broke down and told you when it happened. If she was honest with you then maybe it wouldn’t have been hundreds.

Copyright © How To Catch a Cheater