Do you consider this an affair?

I know this question seems done to death, but I would like an opinion here.. My best friends (Cindy and Tristan) are a lesbian couple who have been together for years. Neither of them have cheated until recently. Cindy kissed a younger woman because she just felt the sting of getting further from her youth and the work of a relationship was wearing on her. She loves Tristan and didn’t sleep with the other woman. Still, Cindy did kiss the other woman on more than one occasion and she was sneaking lots of text messages and emails behind Tristan’s back and giving cards and little gifts to this other lesbian. Cindy finally told her wife what had happened and it broke her heart. But Tristan treats Cindy like a queen and she didn’t dump Cindy. All she asked was for her wife to cut off all ties with the other woman. Cindy promised but then she started talking to the woman again and lying to her wife about it, claiming she wanted to ‘be friends’ with that other woman. Cindy has told Tristan so many lies that she doesn’t know what to believe anymore, and still wants her wife to stop talking to the other woman. Cindy admits that what she did was wrong but also says it ‘wasn’t an affair.’ I don’t see how she gets that. After all, Cindy kissed someone else and there was some kind of emotional connection between her and another woman even if it wasn’t deep. And she was hiding it all from her wife and lying to her. She even told Tristan she was just ‘paranoid.’ Cindy says she’s very happy with the sex and love at home with Tristan. She just caved in to inertia in her life, did something selfish and then blamed it on her wife. But it’s not Tristan’s fault. Tristan does not cheat or abuse her wife, and she just wants her to be faithful and respect the commitment. That shouldn’t be grounds for her wife cheating on her. I think what Cindy did is considered an affair. Cindy says it wasn’t an affair because there was no sex (even though she wanted to just to be greedy), and she never had any intention of leaving her wife for the other woman. To me, cheating and affairs are not always about sex. After all, sex is not the only aspect of what 2 people share in a relationship. There is kissing and emotional connections, too. There is trust and loyalty. When your spouse betrays those things with another person involved, I think it’s an affair and Cindy needs to grow up and appreciate what she has. What do you think?
Whenever Tristan asked Cindy why hide things if there’s nothing to hide, Cindy said, "I don’t have to report to you." Sounds like a BS excuse to me. She also claims that she just wanted to ‘be friends" with the other woman and she expected Tristan to just deal with it, but that’s not gonna happen. Tristan said, "It’s her or me – take your pick because I’ll leave." I am just asking what you think because I was discussing it with Tristan and she is hurt. Most of you have given great answers.

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