How do women feel about themselves after they have been cheated on? Or if your husband views porn and lies?

I’m very interested in knowing how women feel about themselves following the infidelity of their spouse. Not how they feel about the infidelity but how they feel about themselves. Or if you haven’t been cheated on but your husband views porn even though you totally do not approve of it in your marriage and then lies to you about it. How do you feel about yourself after this?
I have an issue with people who can say it is no big deal (about porn) if you think it is no big deal then fantastic in your relationship it will be no big deal. However if a wife feels as if it is adultry or does feel hurt by it it really is up to her to decide what is a big deal. SHe can’t control the way she feels and if it isn’t an addiction he CAN control what he watches.

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