How can people advise others to not tell their spouses about an affair if it is over?

I don’t understand this. If my husband cheated on me, I would want to know no matter what. It doesn’t matter if there are kids involved. I think it is absolutely appalling that so many people on here would keep a secret from their spouse. Why would you base your marriage on a lie? Remember your marriage vows? Well you broke them and now you’re going to pretend that you’ve been true to those vows all along?

Am I alone in this? I think that honesty is ALWAYS the best policy. Besides, if you keep it a secret someday your spouse will find out. And when they find out through some other person, you’re really going to regret it…
Aren’t you hurting them more by hiding a horrible lie like that? How could you look your spouse in the eye and say you truly loved them if you had an affair and you’re LYING about it? I just don’t understand.
S-I am not closed minded I am just asking a question, as I have stated I just don’t understand how someone can do that. I just asked if I am alone in this. So I fail to see how I am narcissistic. Nice try though!

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