any advice on dealing with my spouse? (semi long)?

I’ve been married to my wife for over 5 years now, we started living together about a year before that. There’s no cheating, hitting or abuse or anything like that going on but over the past 5 years I’ve begun to realize that she won’t do anything…

She can’t put her dishes in the sink, can’t figure out the purpose of a laundry hamper and doesn’t know what a trash can is for. On top of that she seems to lack any form of common sense AND she acts like I should follow her around picking up after her.

I’m currently a stay at home dad because she talked me into a job she knew I would end up quitting by playing the "It’ll be better for the family" card… twice. So naturally as a stay at home parent I’m responsible for household crap. Unfortunately though she seems to act like this makes her void of ANY household work on her part even though when I was working she still didn’t do anything around the house and I’d do it when I got home from work.

She doesn’t even spend time with the kids… and I don’t mean the "Hey, you’re home it’s your turn take the kids because I need a break", variety. The kids are usually in bed when she gets home and one is in school when she gets up in the morning. I suggest that she take our daughter to school so she at least gets to see her daughter and she simply refuses because as the stay at home parent "it’s MY responsibility" and any time she spends with our son is yelling at him to sit still while she watches Netflix.

Anyways I’ve been kicking around the idea of a trial separation for about a year now because no matter how much we argue and fight and she says she will start straightening up in less than 2 weeks it’s the same old crap all over again.

My brother says that a separation would be harmful to the kids but I’m a divorce child myself and it hasn’t effected me in the slightest. Hell, I’ve seen my father 2 times since he and my mother divorced and I want to actually be a part of my kids lives. My brother also thinks that if my wife wants to act like a child I should treat her like one & hide her xbox, limit her internet use and all that other stuff.

Personally I feel like this would be (while justified) condescending and childish on my part as well.

Anyone got any good mature, adult, viable ideas?
no she conned me with the job, I may have drawn the card but she stacked the deck.

She may put out more but half the time I’m so pissed at her I don’t want to touch her.

She won;t even let me sleep at night. She’ll keep me up until 2AM then wake me up throughout the night because I’m supposedly snoring… and I say supposedly because sometimes I’m wide awake thinking about something and she’ll hit me an say stop snoring. So I moved onto the couch and every night I get the third degree because I don’t sleep in the bed.
I never treated her like this when I was working… I’d do a 12 hour day, add in a 2 hour round trip drive and still do everythign when I got home because she would say she was busy with the kids… later on I found out she was dumping the kids at my mom’s house to "clean" but she’d just come home and play video games.
T, gone that route.. gave her the take your daughter to school so you’re spending some time with her at the very least. Only time she’s taken her to school is if she has to be to work early and has to wake up at that time anyways. Even then it’s a 50/50 shot.

Personally I don;t mind housework but when extra work is being made for me it annoys me any I don;t see the point in a housekeeper or nanny when I;d probably be paying them more that I’d be making anyways.

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