I need some serious help….?

I am married, over 10 years. Have been unfaithful for four of the 10. Part of me wants to somehow find the love I once had for my spouse, and make this work. The other part feels like…it’s too late. I have been awful, and I need to let him go. Also, for me to cheat… there is a list of reasons why based on his actions, and not wanting sex yet going to topless bars…and the list goes on, believe me. So, yes, I agree, I’ve been unethical. I need help. If I do stay, how do I fall back in love with him? If I leave, how do I leave? What do I tell him? Because I will not tell him I have cheated. I don’t want to be "that" person…even though, shamefully, I am. Help. Try to be nice in your answer to me. My heart is heavy… help. Also, we do have two kids. And, I know it’s best for them to grow up in one home.

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