Baby boy and the blues. Pregnant hormones or downright weird, you decide.?

I found out that I am having a boy, it was so exciting to finally know he sex of the baby. Then came the bad news, the test said my husband is not the father, which makes this very hard as is because I am already at high risk due to family disorders. This leaves one other father. A dreadful place to be when you learn that this child that has brought you so much joy is not your husbands. My husband called ( he is out of town for the next 3 months) and asked if the results came back on friday, I told him no. I have to wrap my mind around this and regroup. I have been trying to occupy myself for months now with movies, food, anything not to think about him. When I think about him my heart beats faster, the baby moves around a lot, but this whole time the baby does not move anytime my husband touches me. A threesome is something we chose to do though we knew how it could result, even with protection. I have had dreams about this other guy, I have feeling for him, I care about him. Not love but care about him. We got really close when we were around each other. Closer then we ever got with our spouses. Open honest, laugh out loud fun. We had a connection way before I ever dreamed of touching him. I want to call him and tell him and talk to him. I miss him. I don’t even miss my husband but I miss him. My BFF sd it’s hormones. I know at this stage I have a lot of them but I felt this way maybe deep inside before theses hormones start building. I picked a name for him and I thought way I had to pick it. Why is it that he doesn’t get to help, because he is married and that’s that. I know that he is not happy with her, he just feels like he can’t leave her with the kids. We confided in each other as friends. We found happiness in each other. Now I went back to my husband he went back to his wife. He was so angry at me when I told her. He said that she didn’t deserve to be hurt. Neither do I. I know this jerk is such a butthole for stringing me. Maybe it was all a lie, but it’s the realist thing I ever felt. If it started with physical then I would say he is just another lying, cheating moron stringing the other woman on. It didn’t. It was us as friends. He used to say I can’t live without you because your everything but we can’t run off because we both have kids that would get hurt and would never understand it. Years of being friends, close friends and now he is gone. Is this hormones???

Sorry so long.

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