Am I making the right decision to end this marriage?

This is not one of those questions where I’m just looking for a ‘pat on the back’ type answer. I’m seriously wanting other viewpoints on our situation. My husband and I are each other’s second spouses. We each have two children from previous marriages. We got married two years ago after dating for four years prior. We thought we pretty much knew each other and our parenting styles, but we quickly found out otherwise once we moved in together. We had nothing but strife for the first year and a half due to different parenting styles. It got to the point where my children didn’t even want to stay with me anymore because of how badly they were treated by my husband (and he will admit this – he was extremely hard on them). These problems ended up leading to more and more problems between my husband and I. We had already had our share of problems without the kid-related issues – he had cheated on me before we were married. We thought those issues were cleared up, but once the kid issues because so big, all of the other issues began inching their way back into the mix as well. Needless to say, it was a pretty miserable life. However, what finally led up to me leaving was two separate incidents that led to him getting physical with me. I will admit – I was being very rude and hateful and I had slammed a door because of my frustration. (His way of dealing with things is to act like I don’t even exist and refuse to listen to me or respond when I’m trying to discuss something with him). I was furious because of him not listening to me, so I walked out of the room, slammed the door, and got on the computer. He then came in the room and jerked me out of the computer chair and threw me down on the floor. After this incident, I left him. It was temporary – he convinced me to move back home after about a month. Then, another incident happened again. This time he restrained me and held me down on the couch and acted like he was going to punch me in the face, but stopped just short of it. Both times, I was being a b*tch. I admit that. But to me, his taking it to the physical level was enough of a reason for me to leave the marraige. I’ve been gone now for 6 months.

He’s been trying to get us back together now. He has yet to say he’s sorry for those two incidents without saying that if I hadn’t been acting the way I was acting, then he wouldn’t have done that. He says we are both at fault and that people make mistakes and a marraige shouldn’t be thrown away because of those mistakes. (We are both Christians and ending a marriage is not something we take lightly).

Please give your honest opinions on this. Should I have left? Should I go back? Or did I do the right thing? My children and I are settled in our new home now and life is much more peaceful than it has been in the past two years. Also – incidentally, his son and his family pretty much hate me now because they were told by my husband that I exaggerated the reason that I left and that he has never and would never lay a hand on me. (Which, in a sense, is true. He did not actually ‘hit’ me.)
To Jaded – Why on earth would it be ‘convenient’ for me to leave out the ages of my children? Sorry, didn’t know that detail was so important. My kids are 12 and 10, his are 12 and 14. There. Does that make the whole thing make so much more sense? Does that twist things in his favor now since leaving out that detail was so important to my side? I really don’t understand people like you. If you don’t want to offer honest, helpful advice, then why are you here?

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