REAL LIFE SITUATION… (Involves husband, wife, 3 kids and another woman) with Additional Details?

REAL LIFE SITUATION… seeking honest, mature feedback. (Involves husband, wife, 3 kids and another woman)?
A man and woman have been married for 10+ years and have 3 children ages 6, 10 and 11.

The HUSBAND – Had lived on his own before, had experiences dating other people before getting married. He is 8 years older than the wife and is the financial provider, head of household. Great at his business, networking, making money, investing and financially providing for his family. He was not good at connecting with his wife or family emotionally and can be so focused on business, there is a clear lack of understanding, empathy and love within his family. No passion or romance.

The WIFE – Had never been with any other men, she went from living at home with her family to being with her husband. She was never independent and could not manage finances, but was great for his business as she supported him, being great at connecting with people so naturally. She had a lot of love for her family, but the love for her husband slowly diminished because of the husbands inability to be emotionally invested in his family. Instead of cheating she spent her time raising the children.

The husband, when traveling for business, starts meeting up with his high school sweetheart for lunches. They meet many times and sometimes the husband takes his children along because they were too young to know who the other woman was. The wife never knew of the other woman, never met her as a friend; but the husband would meet with her for lunch without his family knowing he met with his high school sweetheart on a regular basis. The husband also wrote poetry about the high school sweetheart and kept it hidden in his business files.

1. Would you consider this cheating?
2. If you were the husband, is there a reasonable explanation for this behavior?
3. If you were the wife, how would you feel?
4. If you were one of the children, how would you feel?
5. What if it was 20 years later, you were the child, and to this day your father (the husband) is great to be around as long as you talk about the weather or business… but is still emotionally closed off on a personal level that he will get visibly angry if you tell him you think he was wrong for what happened he denies ever cheating. Even though you know your parents should not be together, you let him know how broken the family still is and asks for him to make an effort to try to find peace in his heart to repair some of the damage and he says just get over it, accept things the way they are.

I’m open to all opinions in hopes that you will give open, honest and helpful feedback, no matter what the results 🙂

*****Additional Details*****
I really do appreciate everyone’s feedback 🙂 <3
Now that I have been able to hear some open opinions, lets put a spin on this story….
It IS 20 years later & I am the middle child (daughter). I am about to get married & know the family will be getting together soon. I had a talk with my father to please stop holding so much negativity towards my mom. He is the one who is bitter after all these years, when my mom has a kind heart about it all. My mother doesn’t talk negatively about my dad, but he does it all the time (in his own subliminal type of way). He himself has stated many times over the years (without me asking) that he never cheated on my mother. Some facts I didn’t mention before was that my father had a vasectomy & didn’t tell my mother, he met with this other woman many times over a couple years & had planned with the other woman (also married w/children) that they would leave their spouses & get together. There are things I remember & know now & would just like truth.

It hurts that my father is the one who is still so negative. He is the one who brings up the past with excuse after excuse that everything is other peoples fault & won’t empathize or take any ownership for what has happened & how he still behaves towards my mother and even towards us children. He puts up a big emotional wall & won’t see how this has hurt each of us & continues to do so because our family (me, my brother & sister) is so broken.

I consider myself a very healthy person & if it must be what it is, then that is how it must be. But when my father has so much hate & is the one being so negative still… then I feel it is at a point where I have to tell him this isn’t right, but he denies any of this ever happened. All I ask for is truth & honesty… if I don’t get it, then should I just continue talking about the weather & pretending that I don’t have these feelings while I listen to him occasionally input subliminal verbal bashing of my mother in conversations???
To answer your question @Skinny Dippin’ they are divorced. They divorced 20 years ago and my father still is the one harboring so much negativity about a situation I think he created. No matter who he wants to blame. I considered him to be the head of my family’s household when I was little and it was his responsibility to act like a mature adult then… and even now years later.

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