Frequent Business Trips – Is Your Partner Cheating?

Do you have a feeling your partner is cheating on business trips? This article provides you with several important aspects you need to take notice of if you are suspecting that your spouse is having an affair when he or she is away on work related travels.

Where does my insecurity end . . . and her infidelity begin?

“She used to love it when I drove her to the airport, but lately she seems perfectly happy and excited to head out of town on her own, renting a cab and hauling all her own luggage.

Why would her beautiful eyes have that happy sparkle in them when she’s leaving without me?”

“Usually my husband and I took advantage of his company’s out of town assignments to share some travel time together. What could be sweeter or more thrilling than sleeping in a strange hotel room together and renewing the spark?

But the last two trips he seemed distracted and gave excuses as to why I couldn’t go this time . . . and even though they made intellectual sense, my intuition just KNEW there was a lot he wasn’t telling me.”

Does any of this feel familiar to you? It can leave us feeling very insecure and hurt when we sense our loved one is rejecting us, especially when the possibility of another man or woman enters the equation.

But how can we find out, once and for all, if he or she really is cheating, or if it’s all perfectly innocent – and, do we even really want to know the truth?

Some signs of a cheating spouse

• Evasiveness when you question him about his plans
• Business/travel receipts that don’t add up
• Change in her usual behavior – more sex/no sex, reluctance to talk/ talking too much, etc.
• Protective of luggage/briefcase/cell phone etc. – Doesn’t want you looking through them
• Traveling more frequently/delays returning
• Nervous/defensive or eager body language as trip time approaches

Add these to the general signs of cheating such as; emotional distance, withdrawal of physical affection, suspicious phone activity, suspicious credit card charges, secrecy, picking fights, unexplained new interest in appearance or new hobbies — the list goes on and on but you get the idea.

The sad fact is that you can check off all the lists and take all the quizzes, but what it really comes down to is this; if one partner suspects the other of infidelity, they’re usually right.

Does that mean the end of your relationship?

Not necessarily. You’re hurting deeply right now, emotions are high and you feel that fight-or-flight-response, but don’t start acting/reacting just for the sake of motion.

Some marriages manage to recover from affairs. It all depends on what both parties end up wanting, so it’s worth thinking beyond your knee-jerk reaction.

There are all sorts of options available to you if you decide to pursue them to try to catch your cheating spouse, including hiring a private investigator.

Before you jump into anything like that though – even before trying to ‘set her up’ to catch her yourself – take a little time to seriously consider your options in EVERY eventuality.

That is, IF she’s innocent, IF he’s guilty, and if so, what do you really want to do about it?

2Most self-help columns and even many of your friends would encourage you to find out, take action, confront, gather evidence for a divorce, leave him, sue her . . . in other words, ‘fix’ or end the relationship.

Know, however, that there are untold millions of people who decide — either actively or passively – to endure a cheating spouse because it’s more important to them to keep the man or woman they love, maintain the lifestyle, protect the children or even keep up appearances.

While there are certainly circumstances to the contrary (such as abuse or other danger), who’s to say that staying in your relationship is the wrong choice?

You won’t usually read this, but many people have ended up worse-off for the rest of their lives after a divorce than if they’d stayed. Even if just for financial reasons, (which often means simple survival), it might be foolish to throw your marriage away over an affair.

What you end up deciding to do is your decision and yours alone. Just try to keep a level head and take each step carefully, preferably with the help of a trusted therapist or counselor.

Whichever way you end up going, seeking reconciliation or separation, don’t go it alone.


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