If your spouse accuses you of cheating is it a sign that they are the ones that is guilty?
I was invited to hang out w/ one of my friends 1 week ago but my husband managed to make me feel guity and said mommy is going whorin around. So I didnt go. So then this past weekend I told him I was going to hang out w/ her and took the kids w/ me. He wasnt home from work yet so we went ahead and left. I called my husband and told him I was going to hang out w/ her for a while. He calls me a couple hours later accusing me of cheating I wasnt doing anything just hanging out w/ her. I have never done anything to make him think I was cheating. Then he told me we were both fat I am 5 8 tall and med built I dont like my weight but if you didnt know it you wouldnt think I am the weight I am. Then we were on our way to his belated x-mas party they have them late and he said out of the blue that if you take a dollar bill and roll it up and put it in your mouth that a stripper will take it by using her boobs he claims he never did that while w/ me.
I met him when I was 18 he got me out of my abusive home to live w/ him and he was so good to me. But now he treats me like crap I have been mentally, physically,verbally abused by him but I stay b/c he says he is sorry and he loves me. Not only that but b/c of our kids. Why does he hurt me like this and how do I find out if he has cheated on me?
My friend isnt single she is living w/ her boyfriend and if she wasnt isnt shouldnt matter. Yes I am going to go out somewhere and there may be a goodlooking man where I am at but that doesnt mean I am going to hit on him and sleep w/ him or any man. I am married I control myself Im not one to make a fool out of myself and married I wear my ring proudly and make sure its being seen. He has single friends one who sleeps w/ all kinds of women he uses them for sex then dumps him. But he is his best friend. Then he has one who is married and has cheated on his wife and drinks all the time and does wahtever he wants. When I want to hang out w/ my friends it doent mean finding a hook up I just want to relax and socialize. I dont even talk to men when I am out unless its someone I know.
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Tagged with: best friend • boobs • couple hours • crap • dollar bill • fool • hook up • kinds of women • mommy • out of the blue • sleep • stripper
Filed under: Catch A Cheater
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You have a larger problem than whether or not he cheats.
This is an abusive man.
All the insults are just "controlling measures" and have nothing to do with anything else, in any way.
He says these things to grind you down, make you have no self-worth, so that will guarantee you don’t leave him, because you won’t think you could ever get anything better.
It’s all BS. He’s making the stuff up so you will lose all respect for yourself, and be even more emotionally dependent on him, and "what he thinks of you".
You have to realize, that it’s almost a 100% pattern that women will pick men who are like their fathers (without knowing it, of course). On the surface, they will seem different, but in function, they’re not. So that’s what you’ve done here, and it’s not easy to "un-do", but you have to get out of an abusive situation, no matter what.
I can’t imagine him changing, especially if he’s been physically abusive. All the "I’m sorry" means squat, if he keeps doing it. That’s just another controlling tactic, to appeal to your "mothering instincts", because he knows you will feel sorry for him (like he’s a little boy), and try to help him. Of course, that’s all a smokescreen, isn’t it?
You’re not really doing your kids any favors by staying with this guy, especially if they see the abuse, and keep in mind, when they get older, it’s likely he’s going to abuse them too, if he isn’t already.
Do you have any relatives that you can move in with?
Don’t do it unless you’re ready to really commit to that decision, but NO WOMAN SHOULD STAY WITH A MAN WHO HITS HER.
If you fear for your life, buy a gun, take a class to learn how to use it, then move out.
Good luck.
(P,S, - I’m a guy, and I’m not one to tell someone to not try to work things out, but this is just beyond that point. There is something literally wrong with the brain of men who do this stuff - you can’t change them).
What does it matter?
Get out of this abusive relationship!
You deserve better!
You should seek immediate help via a free hotline for Domestic Abuse. They will tell you what you need to do to protect yourself. Get some quick and private advice.. He’s a real piece of work!
You need to stop worrying about him cheating and start thinking about the way you let him treat you. Abusive relationships are dangerous and you need to get out.
If he treats you like "crap" and abuses you in any way it doesn’t matter. Leave him. He isn’t going to change.
In most cases, I feel they are the ones cheating and it is their conscious speaking out when they accuse you.
You need to get out of that situation it isn’t good for the children you can get all kinds of help so please for your own good and those little children get out none needs to live like that life is meant to be enjoyed not abused…..
Listen,
Seriously….if your friend is single….a married woman has no business hanging out with her…just as much as a married man has no business hanging out with single men….it becomes a wedge and can lead to fear….
Personally your man more than likely has not been a very faithful man in his past relationships and has a fear….
I know two men who loved to be with married women while they were single…..and to this day they have questions about their wives now….
You need to address this before it gets worse.
who cares!!!!!! he’s a jerk… and you need some self esteem…. you should try to talk to someone and get out….
No, it doesn’t mean he is cheating. But what I do sense from what you have said thus far; is that he doesn’t respect you, he doesn’t trust you and he doesn’t deserve you. Don’t let him keep treating you like that. He is so high on himself that he thinks your lucky he is letting you be with him. I’d show him him diferently!
you can speculate as to whether or not he is cheating but you have instincts use them in order to look more closely into how you can manage to get yourself stable enough to move on from this stale relationship. he is never going to be the man you once knew. is this what you want your children to know about love and marraige? is this what you want to show your children about a woman’s worth?
often times when a person comes out of an abusive relationship at home she may pick another relationship just like the one she left, because its familiar. she may even pick a mate like dad, and if the dad was abusive she would feel it was normal. any man who insults u, accuses u of cheating every time u go out, may himself be the cheater, cheaters deflect what they are doing onto someone else, so they can feel justified about what they are doing. he seems to know alot about what goes on in strip joints.he sounds very controlling, men try to control u when they feel small, and have no self worth themselves. he may very well be the one cheating on u.
i’m thinking that he is cheating on you. i was engaged to a guy once that did the same things to me. never let me go anywhere, would complain and say bad things to me if i did, accused me of cheating, and told me that i was fat and no one else would want me. well, the trust was that he was cheating on me the whole time! most the time if someone accused you of cheating without you giving them a reason, they are cheating themselves because they are trying to get the heat off themselves.
If he accuses you of cheating and has no valid reason, then from my experience, yes he is probably cheating. I base that statement purely on personal experience! I use to go have dinner with my best friend from high school who was divorced and also had two children…we would let the children play while we visited….my husband at that time, inevitably accused me of cheating…even though I had the kids with me. As it turns out, he had numerous affairs which he later admitted to! He said that he knew what some of his excuses had been and figured that if he could use them and get by with them just to cheat that he figured that I could make up lame excues too.
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