Is it wrong to spy on your significant other if you suspect them of cheating?
Relationships should be based on trust. But what if you suspect your spouse of cheating on you? You don’t want to accuse them and seem crazy without hard proof. But you have to know the truth. Is it wrong to try to dig up information to prove or disprove your suspicions?
How far would you go? Would you spy on their phone/email? Follow them? Contact the person you suspect them of cheating with?
Here’s what I know - I was gone for a month. He called me every day. He also texted every day with this girl I’ve never met. I know this because we have our cells on a family plan, and apparently he doesn’t know I can go onto the account and see everyone he’s called/texted and what time. They text all the time. One night they texted all night till 3am, then he stopped texting back and she kept texting him until 5am. He told me one night he was going over to her house and said she was just a friend.
I actually already contacted her pretending to be someone else. I asked her about him in a roundabout way, she said they were just friends but she wasn’t sure if he was flirting with her or not. And she didn’t know he has a girlfriend (me).
I’m back now, he hasn’t brought her around for me to meet her. He accuses me of being paranoid when I bring it up. He says she’s only been to his house 3 or 4 times. His friend’s gf told me she’s kind of dumb and she doesn’t like her.
I don’t want to keep harping on this, but I think it’s weird. She still texts him non-stop every day. I can see on the records it’s usually her initiating it. But like last night my bf and I were hanging out having a great time, then I look at the phone records today and see they were texting all night and it made my heart fall. I mean, he was with me, we stayed the night together, and he stopped texting her at 9:30 and she kept sending texts till midnight. Then she texted him again this morning at 10:00am. It’s just really bothering me - who is this girl? Did my bf deny having a gf to her?
I kind of want to contact her again and see what she says. Part of me wants to stop and just trust him. But it’s too weird! I have to know.
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Tagged with: 3am • bf • cells • contact • Flirting • gf • girlfriend • having a great time • heart • just friends • proof • relationships • roundabout way • Spouse Cheating • Spy Phone • suspicions • texts • time one • truth • Weird
Filed under: Infidelity Warning Signs
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The question is subjective. So there is no easy answer. But I think its not wrong because you have right know about him/her. (s)He Has promised you to be faithful and if (s)he is not keeping up to the promise you have every right to do that. But please be sure before you do this kind of thing. You might break his/her heart.
I would ask directly. I would tell them why I suspect it. My guy is as bad of a liar as I am, so it’s pretty hard to hold up against direct action.
If you suspect it,it is probably true.I would check the phone (which is usually hidden,a sure sign of cheating).If you confront him/her without any evidence,they will deny it. You have to know the truth or you will drive yourself crazy.Yes,I would contact the other person I thought he was having an affair with.It hurts,but it is better to know..
I would try to pick up on signs that may show hes cheating. Maybe he’s hiding his phone from you, not calling you at certain times, etc. I wouldnt call the person that i suspect hes cheating on me with but i would definetly try to make sure i know where he is at all times, and if i caught him in a lie i would question him about it.
Relationships are all about trust and communication, so i’d most likely ask him straight up, but also make sure i have some points to back myself up.
Sweetie the best treatment for a man at a time like this, take care of yourself if he’s fooling around it’s not your loss. Always let a man know you marketable. Never tell him just show him by looking good. Best punishment for a man!!!!!! No need to do anything else. Be cool, head up and look damn good!!!!!
It will eat his heart out!!!!!
Good luck. Don’t listen to girls who say go through his phone. If the signs are there! Start looking after number one and that’s YOU!!!!!!
Sweetie Don’t worry yourself about this. You going to make yourself ill.
Maybe you too young to understand yet.
Don’t pay him or her any attention. If I was you no sex, no favours and go cold turkey!!!!!l Silence is also a good treatment if you can be strong!!! Always have plan B up your sleeve. Get ready to drop a bomshell on him that you are not comfortable with the relationship he has with this girl and that
you leaving to think about things.
Never let a man know what you thinking. Be smart and always be one step ahead of the game. Let him think you a fool but always know what you doing.
Always look after yourself!!!!!!!!
Good luck!!
BTW
LESSON NO1 - Never Never contact another woman to ask her questions. You to good for that!!! Why do you want to embaress your self!!!
Don’t do that. I’m a mother with two daughters and they know there are rules. You better than that!! Be proud. Don’t waste your energy on a girl who has no respect for you.
Cool down, stop worrying yourself. Ok
XX
Ask your boyfriend to do the decent thing and let you know when his relationship with this other chick develops into something more than a friendship. Let him know that you don’t like it and will be keeping your options open if he continues. It’s about respecting yourself and trusting him.
if i thought my boyfriend was cheating i would go spy on the situation, though i would feel bad about doing so, but just to know if he was or not, to get rid or keep him. : )
nothing wrong to spy some body is just Double checking to make your life better, and dump that person if you find out the truth of the matter
No, its not wrong
It IS kind of wrong. But at the same time, I feel your pain. I know what it’s like to be in this situation and to just want to know. But one thing I’ve learned is to trust my gut. It took me a while to learn that because, and I’m sure you can relate, sometimes I think I’m just being crazy. But the fact is, you clearly do not trust this man. What are you doing with a man you do not trust? I’ve been in a long-term relationship with a man I did not trust. The good times were amazing, the bad times were devastating. I invested so much of myself into the relationship that I didn’t want to just leave on a whim or suspicion, so I ended up spying, catching him, forgiving him when he cried and said he could not live without me, kept spying, kept catching him, kept crying and going crazy until one day he left me and I realized I had had enough. He came back, but I did not take him back even though I missed him because the fact is, without trust, there is no real relationship and no real love. Real love is BUILT on trust. What you’re feeling is not love, but is probably a stronger emotion than love. Which might sound weird, but allow me to explain. Sometimes desperation can be confused for love because it is such a powerful, intense feeling. I’m not saying you are desperate, but what you’re feeling is desperation to know that this man isn’t fooling you, that this man wants you as bad as you want him. It took me years after I got out of my relationship to realize that what I was feeling at the time wasn’t real love. Now, that’s not to say I DIDN’T love him - but the strongest feeling that was making me stay in that relationship was NOT love. Because if you really love someone, then you will accept them as they are. If they are a cheater, you will accept that and walk away, but this does not mean you love them less. It simply means you do not want to be with them because they cannot give you what you need, and you respect yourself enough to walk away from a situation that’s not good for you. If you don’t respect yourself, no man will. Love is not crazy. Love is calm, trusting and happy. Are you any of these things right now? I doubt it. Do the RIGHT thing and walk away. It doesn’t have to mean forever. But even if he is not cheating, you still don’t trust him, and that speaks volumes about the kind of relationship you guys have. Walk away, tell him you don’t trust him, and you need to focus on yourself for a while. If he really wants you, he will come back, and he will PROVE to you that you can trust him. If you have any doubt in the back of your mind that you can’t trust him, you’re right.