Should I tell on a cheating spouse?
a guy I work with has been cheating on his wife for 2 years with a girl I work with. He is very bold about it and even takes the girlfriend out after work, etc. He speaks badly about his wife at work, calling her names and making fun of her, but when I’m around him and his wife, he treats her very well, very gentle, speaks softly and kindly to her, even says how much in love with her he is (when she’s within ear shot of course). He was caught cheating on her about 3 years ago and she told him that if he ever did it again she would leave him. They have 2 kids. His wife is very sweet, very trusting, very naive, and I feel like he tries to make a fool out of her by being one way in front of her and another way at work. He and his girlfriend actually flaunt their relationship at work, making out, holding hands, etc. He has even bought the girlfriend jewelry. Should I tell the wife, since I know her too? Should I send an anonymous letter to her house? I feel sorry for the wife. She’s a RN so she would be fine financially, and I don’t won’t to break up a family, but I think she needs to know, I would want to know if it were my husband.
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Would you want to know?
The only problem with innaction is if years pass and she finds out and it falls apart and a lot of pain insues, and usually the truth does come out, you could have started the process of healing sooner.
People who say its not your business are mistaken. By being so bold he is making it your business.
I dealt with this once before and wrote my friend and said:
stop cheating
tell your gf
or ill tell her.
i gave him a week.
i ended up telling her and he hates me.
he chose poorly.
im over it.
You may have your heart in the right place but the best advice i can give you is to stay out of it.
nope. i wouldn’t say a word. it’s none of your business.
If you would want to know, of course you should tell her: "Do to others how you would have them do to you." It’s the Golden Rule.
You said it your self… if you were in her shoes you would want to know. The way you do it may be tricky. An anonymous letter may be easy, but she may also see it as a jealous person trying to break up her marriage, and dismiss it as just that. Because she is so trusting you may have to have some kind of evidence.
For her sake, I think you should tell her. The one girl you know he is cheating with may not be the only one. The problem is he could get an STD and pass it on to her, and she would never know until it was too late. Don’t let her pay for his arrogance and mistakes.
if you had just "heard" about it, no evidence, I would say stay out of it, but the fact that he Publicly does stuff with this girl in front of his co-workers as if he doesn’t even think he is doing anything wrong then yes i think you should consult his wife and tell her! he is making her look like a fool.
this guy his having his cake and eating it to be honest, part of me would stay quiet but part of me would tell her!
It’s not a good situation to be in, but his wife does have a right to know.
Oh how AWFUL!!!! That’s horrible that this man treats a woman that loves him so much this way. I almost don’t want you to tell her, because she’ll be crushed and she’ll definitely never ever trust anyone ever again!!!
Can you get a picture of him making out with his girlfriend? I mean, it shouldn’t be too hard considering they flaunt it at work. Get a picture of them kissing one day, and holding hands another day, and getting in the car together another day.
Of course, don’t let them know that you are taking pictures.
Send that to her anonymously. Open an email account that can’t be traced to you (at the library?) and email them to her. Or mail them to her. Or both!
She needn’t know about how he talks about her behind her back; that is just too much! The photo evidence should be enough.
Chances are if he’s done it before, she would have an inkling this time too. Especially if he’s being so bold about it.
Tell her if you think it’s the right thing - as you say, you would want to know. Would it make things difficult at work for you though? That will be the decider on which way to do it, if you choose.
Personally, I would want to know too. Especially since he’s making such a fool of her. I would hate that everyone knew but me.
i would tell her, i would like to know if it was my boyfriend.
He is still the father of 2 children. Don’t ruin their lives because of your indignation. You don’t have a vested interest in this situation unless you are the mistress. Otherwise stay out of it. Sometimes ignorance is bliss.
The best thing I can say is to stay out of it…The reason..what if the man finds out..You Told his wife and blames you for the marriage breakup…You pro don’t want to deal with his wrath…Don’t worry…the wife will find out..it always happens….Stay away from him, too…Men like him tend to be unstable..don’t make friends with him or his girlfriend..and no sneaky, gossipy looks..just remain cool….