Cheating Spouse?
I have a honest question and I am requesting honest opinions. Me and my husband have been together for 2 years, and when we first started out he cheated on me with a another woman. This I found out about 2 months after it happened by being nosey. So I told him if he wanted to continue what we have here, he needs to cease all contact with her, and we need counseling. So 2 years have gone by and there hasnt been a sign of this woman, and he’s been trustworthy in everyway possible. We are not having any problems, but I woke up a couple of hours ago, and had an uneasy feeling. He stayed at home all day and as of about 2 or 3 months ago he is locking his computer now. When I woke up around 12cst, he got ready for bed. logged onto his computer after he went to bed and there was an im from this same woman from 2 years ago saying " Did you like when I licked you". Now seeing this made my heart drop because he told me that he doesnt have n e contact with her whats so ever. What am I to assume?
Why would she ask him something that happened 2 years ago. Yeah I’m nosey but not for no reason.
We also have two seperate computers so it’s hard for me to see exactly what he is doing on his. We have dsl and are on a network. Anyone have any ideas how I can catch this bastard, if he is cheating?
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Tagged with: bastard • Cease • cheating spouse • counseling • heart • honest question
Filed under: Catch A Cheater
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It does not sound good. Your heart knew the answer.
That’s the thing about assumptions, you can assume ANYTHING your mind can conceive.
If you want to know ‘for sure’ what he is doing online, I recomend "Spector." IMHO, I think he’s petting the kitty.
im sry i think he did cease contact but then he started gettign bac in touch with her !!
i think u need to be more independant and not soo forgiving !! cheating is the biggest crime and its soo sad tat he is doing this for the second time !!
i think u shud take it up in a court of law and need to fight for justice !! u hav been a gud loving and forgiving wife and this man cannot treat u this way!!
tc
all the best
In my opinion, you are to assume he is having an ongoing affair with this woman. Locking the computer is a sure sign of cheating or at least of doing something that he is not proud of. He needs to be confronted but only after you decide what you are going to do (leave him or give him an ultimatum). You do not deserve to be treated like this.
Ask yourself WHY? Happy dogs do not stray..what does she do for him you do not…O ..A ….Outdoor..dress to impress…..how’s the weight? still wear make up for him…whining a lot?……..think about it long and hard…answer truthfully and then do something about it…….NOW
so if u know her id and if u can log onto his computer what’s the problem? pose as him. she can’t see u, can she? so talk with her as if u were your man and see what kind of conversation u will have. then save it and show to him. good luck. if i were u i would prefer let the sleeping dogs lie, but it is too late now anyway
Have a 3 some
It sounds like hes back to his old ways, or never gave them up. He shouldent have anything to hide, Your his wife you 2 should be completley honest with each other & Besides even if for some reason he wasent cheating on you with her, He shouldent be talking to anyother woman but you like that.
What you are assuming is correct. Could be talking about things that happened two years ago. But that isn’t the point. He told you flat out he wasn’t talking to her anymore only to learn the hard way that he is. He sounds like he is careful on the computer so no history would be kept of conversations.
One thing you can do is set up a spybot to track what is being typed. You have a router so it will work. That’s if you wish to go that route.
Personally I would approach him NOW and ask him what is going on and why are you talking to her. You gave him his one chance and let it slide. And now twice and with the same woman… It doesn’t matter if it’s talking only or not. That isn’t the point. You two made a deal about him NOT associating with her period. He broke the trust right there.
He took a day off of work you say? Ask him about that, I find that odd now that you have seen what he has typed on his computer. Your intuition is right, it’s amazing how that comes into play.
I don’t know if you should trust him after this.. Once a person can take but twice and have it hidden from you… No this isn’t fair or right. I don’t think he will let this woman go either, for some reason she has a pretty strong hold over him. I don’t think you can fix this to make him stop. I am surprised he would marry you while she is still around, unless she too is married
I have to give you my honest answer. Confronted him about it. Ask him about what does he want in this marriage and why he still in touch with her for after 2 years you thought this marriage going to be worked after all this time both of you agreed to be honest to each other. The point is that he still have a thought of her and the slut just don’t leave him alone. Ask yourself what do want to do now whether giving him another chance because you commitment in this marriage or get your own life when you know that he won’t change after all!
i think u already know…. and he is stil wit the same other woman, why is he wit u also? is it the money? social respect? or to keep u controlled? if u know her, find out all bout her, go the other way-she is pathetic if she knows he’s married…
Actually there are many types of software to catch your spouse if this is an action you actually want to take. It seems as thought you are already convinced that there is something going on. But; if you just want to answer this question then my advice is to go to any of the download site on the web; I myself like http://www.tucows.com. Type in "monitoring software" and you will find many choices of spying software.
Look straight up, he is a cheat and a liar, and worst of all he completely disrespects you. I would end it now before you end up with a STD from your own husband. I would also IM that girl back and let her know you are very aware of her and what she is up to with your husband.